Waxing poetic

I am trying to take more "risks" in what I read - not always going for the authors that are tried and true for me, but rather, trying out some new authors to see if they are a good fit, and have different stories to tell.

I have had J0y Luck Club on my shelf as a "to read sometime" for as long as I can remember, and I was temped by the Opposite of Fate, Tan's autobiographical book, which also sat on the shelf "to read at a later date."

Well, I finally sat down and read the Opposite of Fate and I am a total convert!!!! I was enchanted cover to cover, and found myself earmarking pages so I can return to them later on to ponder Tan's words. Her other books have moved up my priority list to read, perhaps not right now, but not in a long time either. Her work is poignant, and is quite autobiographical, and she speaks quite openly and frankly about her relationship with her mother (always a big one for us girls, whether or not we are moms or daughters or both!!). I was sad to turn the last page for I think Tan is a fiesty woman who has much to say, and I like that she examines American culture and it's need for stereotyping and takes it very neatly apart and that she rejects any other label than that of "American Writer".

"The best stories do change us. They help us live interesting lives"

I can't help but agree with this statement, wholeheartedly. I also like Tan's claims that "I have the freedom to write whatever I want. I claim that freedom." For so many people who lose their voices away, this book is a reminder of reclaiming that voice, and using it, even if it always isn't perfect, or is in draft form...

Is it only tuesday?

I am eternally grateful that I have a great specialist who the task of doing a root canal down to a fine art. After waiting nearly half an hour to be seen yesterday, during which time I had to excuse myself THREE TIMES!! (can you say nervous and pregnant??) the deed was done in about 45 minutes. The freezing hurt some, but after that it was pretty clear sailing.

Apparently Ken will lose his thumb nail in about two weeks, and now does a mean Fonzie impression since smashing his thumb the other day at work! Hockey has been out for him, since it is an open wound going in to a hot and sweaty glove environment that breeds little beasties that aren't good for healing!!

Between these two things, and then working on homework all weekend for that online course (IT IS DONE AND I AM SO GLAD, I had no idea how much work this online course would be ... with a huge sigh of relief, all I need to do is the practicum and I have another certificate to add to my ever growing collection), and just being run down, I was done like dinner before I even went to bed last night. So, I am home today, resting, doing my thing, regathering myself.

And, it not being nearly exciting enough around here, the rad in our truck decided that today was the day to give up the ghost in a big burst of steam and water. After much babying, Ken got the truck to our trusty mechanic, no used parts to be found, so the rad becomes the newest item to add to zee beast.

So, add another thing to the list. We definitely keep life interesting between the two of us!! Need to find out how a wee friend is doing, and sort out some details for the wedding, but it is starting to look like a little bit of clearer sailing... maybe?

Up after 6am on a Sunday?

I think by the end of my night last night I was an overtired, emotional mess. Everything felt personal and I felt like I could easily manufacture stuff to create more reasons to fall apart. Must have been hormonal, or just not enough sleep, or just everything coming together too. So I did what any sensible woman would do - carted my ass off to bed.

I only have 2 journal entries, 1 assignment, a quiz, and a few more bits and pieces for my course left to do. I want it done. On one hand, it has been rewarding and I enjoy the semantics of learning how to teach, but in some ways, it widens the gulf between where I am at and where I will be given time and effort. I guess I am such a fan of continuing education because once it is done, you have it, and who knows when the knowledge is going to do you right. But getting through these last bits has been tough. Not because the material is beyond me, but just staying on task. It is like I have to chain myself to the desk!

And holy hot tamales is the big day coming up quick!!! Still a few outstanding invites, but perhaps in hindsight we should have told people to RSVP with the "nays" as well as the "yays" rather than to sit here and wonder...keeping the wedding list to a limit is hard, you realize as time goes on more people you wish you could invite, and you realize that can continue on and on into total silliness. Met with out Marriage Commissioner yesterday, She is FABULOUS. The neatest part about this wedding is how things have fallen in to place. Just another element that fits the way it should!!!!

Warm Fuzzies

This just totally one of the off the cuff moments where you just put it out there.

Having a blog has been a really great experience for me. The friends that I already had that this experience (for lack of a better word) has brought closer, whether through my blog or through their blogs as they have popped up. And also to the new friends I have made through the intimate world of reading about each other's day, and to also looking forward to seeing what is up, and what is a shaking in their worlds. It is amazing when we all intersect, and no matter the distance, how can we share the same wavelength, or give advice (or take it), or be sad for each other, or celebrate together.

I don't rely on the phone so much anymore, I find that after a day at work where I have to be "on" for people, and am constantly interrupted, expected to be a chief miracle worker, here is a place where I can communicate on my terms and when I want to, whether it being in the middle of the night, the morning, or squeezed in somewhere else.

So, out goes a big warm fuzzy. Just cause.

The Ride

This week has been amazing.

My coworkers threw me a wedding shower, and dinner with our immediate group last night. The generosity of the people I work with, and the amount of lives I have touched over the years, and the outpouring of positive vibes was amazing. By the end of the night, I am sure that I was about a foot off of the ground. I feel very humbled.

The evil tooth continues to be FIESTY. Have fingers crossed for a cancellation to get in sooner rather than later, but really, who wants to rush a root canal? (yes, a trick question is embedded there). Woke up in the wee hours with a throbbing face again. Ah well. I am towards the end of the process and not the beginning, so this is good.

Have consciously avoided that online course all week. I somewhat feel guilty, but that will sort out tomorrow. I hope.

Wedding plans are blitzing along - we have a schedule, and a floor layout, and things are coming along. I can't believe the big day is in 3 weeks!! O M G ! ! ! !

And, speaking of weddings.. KELZ AND BEN are engaged!!!! I cannot express how happy I am for them both.

Reading about what is happening in Reffinej's back lot makes me sad. Seeing the swath of destruction in places like Manning Park and Northern BC from this pest and what hasn't been done to stop this blows my mind. It seems like such a waste. When you see the brown, dry sticks in what was once a beautiful, lush forest is tragic.

Some of my shows are back on, yes, I like watching the A-Race to see where they send the lucky folks. The host has one great job!!!!

And... And... And...

I think tomorrow, it being a friday off, I will sleep.

The ugly (but, attitude adjustment in the works)

Yup. This is a day that will go down in the books. Am currently pulling up boots just so and looking for the silver lining because the alternative, well, face it, it is ok to wallow for a bit, and then you have to dust yourself off and move on.

If things happen in threes, I completed that cycle today, damn fast.

Destroyed new lipstick by running through the wash. Minor, chaulk it up to experience.

Diagnosis: root canal next monday. Conversation with doctor over safety of taking an antibiotic when pregnant and having an infection, ok to take short term. Should help with the pain, and make the procedure not so nasty. Needless to say, I will be seeing my dentist a lot in the next 2 months and am glad that it is being taken care of. I didn't wait this time, so I probably caught things in time (which is a change since I used to wait for some stupid reason before.. so this is a good thing).

Student loans - if I had not called today, I would not have discovered their latest mistake. Of course, the bank does not err in your favor, it works for itself. This goes back to the September fiasco, and now it is in my hands to get them to investigate their mistake. ARGH!!!!

The not so good

The last few days my gums have been a bit dodgy up in the upper left hand quadrant, and I have been feeling a wee bit nervous about what has been going on up there (even though I have been practising some of the best personal dental care of my life)..

Well, by last night, I was getting a cold feeling in my gut that all was not right, and things were heading south. Ken could tell something was up, and it all had to do with old fears of dental work, and knowing I was heading for more. If I tap on the tooth, it hurts like hell. If I push on the area around it, yup, that hurts too. When I smile.. my cheek hurts.

BLOODY HELL.

After not sleeping much last night, and waking up in pain, and chewing on ice cubes to numb the area, I knew I was making a call to the dentist in the morning because this does not bode well. My appt is at 2:30 and I hope this isn't leading to a root canal... *SIGH* And nope, this isn't the tooth that I managed to sheer off three weeks ago, that was the right side. I guess I am aiming for balance this go around.

The good..

Yesterday I went to a shower hosted by Ken's side of the family. It was strange, I was a little nervous in the morning before I went.. I started to do house cleaning, and just putzing around before I actually started to get ready. It was a wonderful afternoon, and I felt very spoiled and very grateful. Everything also became a lot more real in those moments, especially when I realized that I was being truly welcomed in to a new family, and that hat full of bows was for me!!!
It felt like a rite of passage when it was tied under my chin, and it was a great day.

By the time I got home though, I was done like dinner. I felt all chatted out, and just a bit tired around the edges. Lots to take in, and I think I needed some processing time.

I think the wedding plans are going well, I have a big list of which I am slowly crossing things off, and in the next week, I will try to nail down as many deets as possible.

Also had a little shopping excusion the other day to MAC. Avoided the ladies there, and went for the young man with full lipstick and concealer on to help us out. He was great - showed me some great tips on what to do, and I learned that some of my facial redness comes from the fact that I have DRY skin??? WHO KNEW. Talk about denial... once he applied a liberal amount of moisturizer on my face, he went to say I will let that soak in before I try to show you how to hide your redness and the gallon of cream was already soaked in and he proceeded to use a different kind of face powder that didn't give me a pale matte look!!! Well, that was a learning experience. I haven't been open to help with makeup for years, so it was a great experience and I have some great notes (and a few new items) for the big day!! (Gilly you would be so proud!!)

Need I say any more?

A naked cat

So, I had to wander in to my friendly local vet's office and pick up some of the preventative cat food for the boys, and decided to ask a few questions about things that they had heard regarding cats and the introduction of a new family member.

Well, I realize that I am talking about a baby, and well, they start talking about the new naked cat that comes home with us.

Naked cat?

It took me a minute, but essentially the cats probably will look at our wee bairn as a hairless cat that gets coddled an awful lot, without even spending time grooming itself!! They had some great suggestions - spacing out the changes in our life so it isn't a dramatic event that happens over the course of a weekend. (well, I am sure it will still be dramatic, and hopefully quick..)

What they were getting at is stuff like moving the litter box about a month before baby is due, and changing the room around early, and even playing a tape of a baby crying, just so that noise isn't quite so foreign to them. Apparently babies can hit some really strange pitches, which can resemble some caterwawls, so early conditioning may not be a bad thing...

Was quite the image though - two four legged hairy cats meeting the two legged hairless one.

Crazy stuff.

Thought of the moment

"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground"

See. Nothing wrong in life with being a total nutter. See, proof that I am indeed grounded.

Besides learning how to let go of some stuff, I am also learning how to start to say "no"in a more effective manner. I have tended to overcommit myself at times, and well, given the NWO, it is time to be a little more focused on the homefront and trim off the not so necessary parts. Ok, talk about dancing around an issue and not coming out and saying it eh? I have been involved in a few committees at work, and the time has come to look at them under the microscope and make decisions on what I am, and not able to do at this time. It does refocus things when it starts to become a reality that I will be going on a mat leave in a few months, and there will an automatic dissociation that comes with it. It is actually quite "free-ing". A time to break some old patterns, maybe start a few new ones, slowly over the next 1-2 years.

Work in Progress

There are a few times in my life where I really figured that I had a handle on things, and then it seems that the rug shifted beneath my feet, and nothing was as I thought it was, and somewhere along the line, lo and behold, there I went changing again.

In this particular moment, I feel like a work in progress. So aware of some things - I definitely can feel that nesting need coming on (nicely identified Candy) and then that is coupled with the "urge to purge" and the ability to actually let go of things that I have held on to for so many years I have forgotten why it was so important to hold on to those things. Or ideas. Or so unsure of others, where does that momentary insecurity come from? Need to feel like you are on the right track? That rush of emotions that just makes you wonder, and go, WTF??!! Then I distract myself with the cleaning tactic. I feel like I am back in university and avoiding studying or writing an exam - must clean instead!! My room used to never be as clean as the day before a big essay was due. Such a funny thing procrastination.

Clarity in communication seems to be coming up these days. More so with my online class, and then a few issues cropping up around the place of employment. I find that I am sifting through my repsonses, and taking my time more than usual before I respond to things. I feel more protective of myself, my position, and not willing to jeopardize my integrity or position.

And now I also realize it isn't about just me about more. I really have the makings of a family happening here. It is really cool. I have to watch my stress, not over-extending myself, not saying yes to too many things and finding myself fried and crispy at the end of the day, or the week. I thought I was mature before, but now it is a different kind of maturity. It helps refocus some of the other stuff, and be glad for the simpler things too - being loved, being healthy, moving in to the future instead of languishing in the past.

Finished

I finally finished reading Hawaii.

Although I have been reading this book for what seems to be forever, I was still sad to turn the last page and realize that the book ends in 1956. I wanted more. It is amazing epic novel that sweeps generations of people. I like learning about the west - the people that came, why they came, concepts of wilderness, wild places, the last frontiers, what people left behind, how ex-pats can be more loyal than the people left behind...

But, now I get to move on to fluffier reads for a bit, and a few books on being preggers. The books do help, you pick and choose, and some stuff resonates, and some stuff just sails clear past your head. My mat appts have been to my mind strange, I half expect my doc to sit down, run through a checklist, and it is more like, check bloodpressure, etc, check fundal height, check weight, hear heartbeat, see what can be spotted on an ultrasound, room for a few questions, and then I am back out booking my next appointment. I guess because everything is so new, and there is built in trust trust that you are doing reading and research on your own, and that you are making informed choices as a healthy adult that has a desire to give your baby the best chance that you can...

Neat quote

Working through my section on motivation, I stumbled upon this neat quote:

"In education, as in other meetings between human beings, the wind of the spirit blows where it will. In the end all education is self-education. Somehow or other the learners must come to care sufficiently about what is intrinsic to these worthwhile activities so that they no longer have any need of extrinsic motivation."

Signs of the time

Moved all the bags of books to my mom's (check)
Donated a bag of books (check)
Shifted grandparent's night table to my brother's house and out of our place (check)
Dispersed other odds and sods that have been kicking around, gathering dust (check)
Have oddly more room in second bedroom, and in bookshelve (check)

Slowly just puttering away so far today. I have been definitely going through a period where it is "ok" to let some of the clutter go. IT FEELS GREAT! It also feels strange. I have held on to some things for so long, to let it go and not worry about that clutter anymore, like wow. Feels like a new concept, although I am sure it is old hat to the converted.

Also been experiencing a sign'o'th'times in which every now and then, it is like the baby does indeed shift inside, even at this early stage, and plunks itself on your bladder. I do my biz, and then 10 minutes later, there I am there again, thinking "didn't I just do this?!?!?!" This goes on for about an hour until jr shifts and releases the pressure.

Books, books, and more books.

I have stuff coming out of my ying yang. The byproduct of 32 years of being a pack rat.

I thought that I went through and got rid of a lot of stuff back when I turned 30, just in time for our last move. At the time, I believe that I did. Hell, I finally got rid of papers that I had been holding to since I was a teenager.

Well, it is time to get rid of more of the pocketbooks that I have been holding on to for about the same amount of years. There are so many books out there that I haven't read, why I am holding on to the trade books? (mental note, I do differentiate between what I consider intellectual forays and those that are 1-4 night dashes that are purely for escapist reasons)

There are a wack by Nora Robert$ that my mom figures she will reread when she retires, so the three additional stuff bags I have of the, she is more than welcome too and I am no longer going to store them. It feels quite free'ing actually. To not have a few hundred books sitting on a shelf, getting dusty, quietly whispering - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??? You have no intention to read us?!

So I have a few piles, the ones I will take and sell to a bookstore in Victoria (eventually), a pile that I will use at the local bookstore as trades, the ones I will just donate, ones my interested friends have already read and fall in to one of the other categories, the ones for my mom, and ones I will just pay forward and release in to the wild.

Card Shark

BAH.

So, I attempted to set something of a bridal registry up today. BAH. What an experience!!! I was definitely not thrilled with the selection at my local Bay store, and not with most of the prices either!! I ended up looking at the registry as more of a guideline, not this is where I want this item from, or this name brand from!!! I also created a pretty slim registry as well...

For example, I want a white fabric shower curtain - but not for the tune of $89.99 !! LIKE O M G

Some stuff was just outrageous, and I know I can do so much better for both selection and price... really makes you stop and go HMMMM. Like a wedding photo album.. all they had were memory albums, and well, I have a guest book so much of the information in the "memory" album is redundant and I want somewhere to put my pictures! I think that has been one of the hardest things, figuring out what we want and need, and then figuring out how to get that out to people, if they want ideas. I don't make a good shopper. By the time I walked out there, I was ready to go home and just have a moment. Plus those people want to chat, and I got an eye roller. And then when you really needed someone on the sales floor, they would start to run the other way as soon as you made eye contact!!

WEIRD... WEIRD... WEIRD. Just having a general list sure sounds like a better idea right now. Why does Ken have to be more right about these kind of things?

Creative idleness

We had a PD day at work - ethics and education. Heady stuff. First speaker was an interesting enough chap, but I couldn't help but squirm in my seat a whole lot. He seemed a bit off topic, mostly discussing Nunvut as a new territory and how unique it is - not sure how that fits in to a day that is focused on the two E's!... attended a workshop by Vancouver Sun reporter D. Todd who writes on "religion, spirituality, and ethics". Now this was a great session of ideas, just talking about the topics that normally make people want to squirm in their seats. These hours flew by - Todd mentioned something called "creative idleness" to describe how to deal with boredom that the young and aging seem to experience, and that objectivity doesn't exist, but one could strive for "objective pragmatism" in their lives. I agree, individuals don't get enough time to talk about the big things - Beauty, Art, Truth.. what it means to live as a "good" person. Some great ideas were floating about the room if you could hold on to one long enough to make it your own.

Nothing like getting fed, and then going in to another workshop. I definitely had some carb let downs in the afternoon, and it was so stuffy, and then by contrast so nice outside, it was hard not to look out the window and yearn to be out there, with the wind in my hair. Nothing like talking about climate at work, and knowing that the people who really needed to be at this workshop weren't. We had some improve to finish the day, and by then I was done with small talk. News is spreading, so it means that lots of little chats, which are nice, but as extroverted as I am... I still want to be able to retreat somewhere and recharge my batteries!

Fading quick

Wow. I sat down here feeling somewhat inspired to type out something.. and not it feels like my brain has gone to a pulp and I don't think I have much that is interesting to say!

This year is shaping up pretty cool, between our big events, dear friends are also expecting, got an invite in the mail for another friend's wedding in August (crossing all fingers that it works out to attend since they are coming in from the UK), and the pieces of our own plans slowly coming together.

It's funny, I can have all these big plans of what I want to get done when I get home from work, and then I get home, and they appear to vanish. I am still pretty tired at nights, and ironically enough I am doing the section in my online course about MOTIVATION. Of which I have none right now. I know I could be logging in and doing some reading, or responding to the online stuff I need to contribute, but the desire just ain't a'happening right now. Will be bailing soon to dash between the covers and continue my way through Hawaii. Which is turning out to be a great read. A long read, and I guess Wilbur Smith at times can be somewhat like James Michener, perhaps just not quite as detailed.

Alex, can I buy 2 more hours a day?

Monday? Again?

And what is thou burning ball of light in the sky? The previous post became oddly prophetic as the rains started, pushed on by ferocious winds, including a power outage! (first in many years) Until things started looking up yesterday. There are branches scattered about the backyard, but everything looks freshly washed, because it was by the driving rain.

The big game yesterday was frustrating as hell. It reminded me of the Vancouver Canucks in the 1994 playoff run, losing to NY Rangers in game 7. In that game, the Canucks could not buy a break, and I am sure that Hasselback and the 'Hawks felt the same yesterday. Not that their kicker did them much good... *SIGH* it was a frustrating game, a moment of elation quickly followed by an interception or a bad ref'ing call.

I have recently learned that I have a "converger" learning style, and apparently there are other people out there like me who like to make lists, be somewhat organized and practical, but then like to through it all away to ponder the big concepts. Interesting stuff.

Feels like I am doing a helluva dance some days - completing an online course, wedding plans, thinking baby and changes, work issues, talking to friends and making plans, sqeauking in some quality time with my honey, and trying to cram in some selfish stuff in there. Sounds like the lists are going to be a lifesaver, and that this will give me good practise for later. I am also learning that I need to be pretty clear about what I want, and how I want things to happen on the big day. It isn't enough to have the big details sorted out, you have to know the minor stuff too, floor plans, and general organization, and how the hell you are going to pay for it all!!!!

Vancouver's Weather Forecast, next 3 days

A banner week!

This is really cool, not only has one of my dear friends decided to hook in to extended blog familythis week, but another one of my favourite people has decided to join our fold too!!

THIS IS REALLY COOL!!!

A very heart welcome to Sarah's exploits out in the Back 40 wilds of our beautiful province of BC! Welcome to the blogging familia.

What next?

Been a wacked out week.

One of us, I am sure it was the cat, stepped on our cell and broke the crystal screen display. Time to replace the phone and weasel out of old contract just in time to sign up for a new one!! Positive part was the great "sales consultant" I had that helped broker a sweet deal.

Then yesterday, trying to eat healthy and munching on my trail mix, I broke a tooth, and well, swallowed it. I think this is the most queasy I have felt since I got preggers!!! You just know something is wrong as your tongue moves over that tooth, and you think to yourself "That isn't a peanut stuck there.. no wait... " and you check it out, and voila! More than half your tooth has been sheered off just above the gum line. Crown number four here I come!! Silver lining here is that we do have dental coverage, and that I am in the second tri, so dental work is safe and they will be able to freeze as needs be. *SIGH*

Needless to say, baby will learn excellent tooth care, and how to swim and skate at a young age.

I am glad that this is a short week. I grabbed a few vacation hours so I didn't have to go back to work after the dentist. That was enough for me today!! Ok, so I just wanted the break, truth be told.

Life on the range..

This is a great commercial.. I think that it aired last year for Superbowl!!

Check out the Cat Herders!

Room for more!

Today has been a crazy day. I feel up one minute, and the next I am tumbling back to earth and wondering WTF??!!!

BUT! Something cool just happened!!! I feel like a proud friend announcing something cool! A very cool friend has joined the blogging family!!!!

YAY!!!!!

Hat's off to ya Cher - I am so looking forward to keeping in contact like this. I have found it to be rewarding in keeping the folks I care about in the loop!

/insert cheesy grin here

Hooked on something?!

The David, strikes again. Or still?

What can you say after you see something like this?

Why did all the good shows come to an end?

So, being solo for the night, I made the kind of pasta that I like and haven't had forever (giving myself heartburn in the process), got chocolate soy milk instead of vanilla, and rented the last 4 episodes ever of Sex In the C!ty.

The penultimate chick sitcom as far as I am concerned. I think most women could have (can) related to Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, or Miranda at some point, and their friendship above all is something to strive for in our own female friendships. I don't believe that women have enough positive role models or "buddy" movies where chicks are supportive of each other in stead of competing with each other for the better man.

There are legions of movies like that for men (buddy movies that celebrate male friendships) - the Lethal Weapons, Beverly Hills Cops, Bad Boys, Legends of the Fall, Braveheart, Top Gun to name but a few. Not saying that chicks can't dig these movies, but women have gotten movies that didn't necessary centre around female friendships, it was more about competition, or linking up against a man in something like Thelma and Louise or a real tear jerker of a movie. I have noticed this trend starting to shift with movies like Calendar Girls and Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, and I am glad for it.

But, back to my original point. Did I have one? I miss Sex in the C!ty. The Carrie-ism, the crazy outfits, who can forget the shoes? I am glad that things somewhat neatly came together together in the end, a fitting finale but then again I am a sucker for a happy ending. I think I have avoided watching those last few episodes because I have been in denial that the show is actually done.

Funny how even just those opening bars are enough to chase a man away. Total time to just kick back and be a girl and immerse yourself in someone else's dramas for a few moments. It was fun for a quiet evening by myself!

It fits!

My dress was delivered today!!! It fits, and to quote my brother "You look like angel".

What a relief. There is always an element of risk when you buy something sight unseen, but it sure does take a weight off of your chest when things fit the way they should and the dress is beautiful - the detail work is just fab.

*big sigh*

House is strangely quiet. Apparently out in the Northern wilds of Red Deer, Ken's brothers are driving the rental car out on the lake. What a crazy Canada that exists beyond Hope. The lake is totally frozen, and there are areas where people skate, cars, trucks, and snowmobiles are all over the place, and people ice fishing. WOAH DUDE. One day I will have to check out a real Canadian winter. Ours is such a teaser compared to the rest of the Northern world. Us and Seattle compete for yearly rain totals, while everyone else gets to deal with truly inclement weather.

It still feels strange announcing to people that I am pregnant. It is weird when you aren't really showing yet, perhaps except for the nice breakout I have happening, and there are some tidbits of good advice I think I am picking up. Some of the stories are pretty daunting, and I think at that point you just need to plug yer ears and take what you need and move on from there.

Two days of total meetings at work. I so want to hide out in my office tomorrow!!!!

not so funny feeling

The rain stopped and it is a beautiful day out there! Sun blazed across the eastern sky with a blaze of glory and there were whisps of fog ribboned across the Fraser this morning.

I think these images will have to sustain me throughout the day because I have the feeling that today is going to be "one of those days" I wished I was able to stay in bed, or at least do something different. Vibe around here just isn't great, morale, what morale?

Mundanes

Week 13 has arrived!! Still continuing to feel better, clothes still fit, still need to work on making sure I get some exercise daily.

The weekend had its shares of ups and downs. I think we are still reeling from it around here... sleep has been somewhat optional at times, and nothing like waking up and wondering how the heck the duvet is on the ground, Ken was cocooned in all the sheets and blankets, and I had the sleeping bag. Bizarre. Looks like my honey will be heading out to Red Deer, AB at the end of the week for a Celebration of Life. Funny, you think you have a grip on life and then it throws you a curve ball. Followed by a fast ball, then a change up for good measure.

This is shaping up to be a long week at work, I think there are 5 different meetings scheduled, and I am taking over some advising slots too. Makes the time fly!! I am currently slogging my way through Michener's Hawaii and the story is pulling me along, but not quite like the page turners I have been reaching for as of late. I must say, I am enjoying having a blog, and connecting through blogs, and through email. It is amazing how it helps keep people in the loop of things, and to just stay in touch for the little things you don't always think to mention.

Friday?

It seems that every friday I ever have off, at 10 am I can't believe how much time I have to myself, and then about 3pm, how damn fast my day has gone!

By the time today rolled around, I was gleeful to be on my own for a day and just to deal with me. I think I hit that point where I just needed some time to be and putter around the house, no TV, no music blaring.. just me and the cats.

I finished off Tuesdays with Morrie and I think I cried through the last 50 pages. It struck pretty close to home, having myself watched a dear friend whither away from a fatal disease. One of many one liners really struck home, " death ends a life, not a relationship." I have never looked at it like that, but it resonates. Just because someone is gone doesn't mean you stop caring, or valuing the memories that you have, and people do live on in the love we have for them. So my eyes have had that gritty feeling to them all day.

I think I have turned a corner, and it seems that my energy is coming back. I cleaned like a fiend today, and almost filled up a container of garbage, and have some stuff ready to donate to the Sally Anne. I swept, and I made a few new cushion covers (in the process turning 4 little pillows in to 2 bigger pillows), I puttered, and now it is past 6!!! Tonight I get to be a super fan at hockey, cheering on the Crushers!

it's out there

The last phase of my "shock and awe" campaign has drawn to a close.

Work now knows, and it went off better than I thought it would, especially when I revealed a due date smack in the middle of summer. It felt good to finally tell them, especially since I am at work a fair bit. It's also good to know how long I have to work before I get a huge break - although it will be a new type of work that is waiting for me.

I guess my coworkers were expecting me to announce that I had a new job - they figured I was at a job interview yesterday, and not at the docs!! It was just such a crazy moment, I was just glad that I had already drafted out my plans for when I would take vacation time, and then mat leave, and then vacation when I expect to go back to work yesterday.. I could feel my face flush, and my heart start to pound.. and then it was all over. Definitely made it hard to concentrate today!!!

It feels like a whole new stage though - definite confirmation, I am sure that I am just glowing, and the wedding plans are coming together. Some moments it is like "WOAH, dude." Other moments it is just so amazing I just have a silly grin on my face. Amazing to think that last year when we were busy saving our cat, we were busy doing something else too!!!!

Moment of truth

Today was a milestone day, and to borrow a word from a dear friend, at times, I felt quite verklempt.

I think, no, I know, that we had our socks blown off in our first mat appt today. We could totally hear the heartbeat, and the ultrasound was amazing - we could make out a really distinct profile of our baby, and you could even see the heart beating!!

How humbling to know that something so amazing is happening inside of you.

I am doing well, and things are progressing the way they should be. We breathed a collective sigh of relief, and well, we have both been on cloud 9 since. JUST WOWZERS!!!!

Internal heating gage

I have heard rumors that your internal thermostat kicks in and keeps you extra warm when you are expecting.

So far, hasn't happened. I have been cold more often than not. Either that or this is my excuse for why I am having more baths :]

Got a few things ticked off today, but overall I am feeling pretty lethargic. Definitely experiencing the first trimester decline in overall energy. Bedtime has changed from like midnight to just after 10, it is strange, for the first time in my life I am going to bed at a decent time!

Tonight, going out to celebrate a good friend's birthday and go for MEXICAN. Which seems to be what I have been craving. It is strange now to go to downtown Van - used to be such a part of my life, nearly daily, and now it is rarely. Things change in between my visits now. It is strange how perspectives change with time. Don't need the city so much at this stage.

devil in the details

Lists.

I have many new lists now.

I am also learning all about flowers. More than just roses and tulips and gerbera, but also about exotic sound flowers like stephanotis and lisianthus.

What baby items my amazingly generous friends are willing to part with for us, which is graciously appreciated.

The class is done and my assignments are in the mail, that albatross has been kicked to the curb. I have one final class for that program, and it will be online, so it should be easy-peasy.

Work has been bizarre. It has alternated between moments where I question my existence to moments where it is so obvious I was able to give someone a hand, it is humbling. It is strange to go between those two poles.

But it comes down to my lists. Lists that keep having little additions sneaking in, some lists that are on the back burner, waiting for attention, and then lists that are screaming for attention.

Things are coming along, pretty well I think! Very easy to see how budgets can go totally out of control. Like talking about how much you are willing to spend on photography, and what style you want...eloping sounds appealing, but then again, wouldn't be the same without the people we care about to be there, or to be able to at least share it with those that can't. Times like this also make me appreciate having a blog - the ties that bind people together when physical distance exists and how that distance can be shrunk with words, and effort.

When the iron is hot

I am trying to finish the assignments from the course I took back in December. It feels like a lifetime ago, and I am really struggling to recapture the essence of what I was trying to learn in those moments.

It would perhaps have been nice to have had the option of dropping it at the time, but I didn't have the luxury. I did have the luxury of taking a two week extension, which I did gratefully, but I am quickly reminding myself why in all the other courses that I have taken in this program, I always stayed on top of the assignments and got them in as soon as possible.

When you take a course on two back to back weekends (fri-sun), it is intense, and everything is packed in to a short period of time. Now, almost a month later with the landscape of my life altered, it is a real struggle to get back in to that headspace. I only have the last 1/3rd to do, but I feel like I am balking every step of the way. I guess it doesn't help that I am not feeling up to snuff today, or that I am in the middle of a decent book which is always a distraction. I am fighting myself to stay on track, and I know I will feel better when it is done, it is still a slog.

Quack, quack

Today marks 22 days in a row of downpour.

It does seem to stop for a few hours a day, before the skies open up and the deluge begins again.

It is also very mild - and damp. So at times, even though the ol' mercury isn't dropping, the damp seeps in and you find yourself damn cold!

My parents think we are half nuts for some of our plans, snagged a great deal for Ken on a black suit, and my dress, both on the marketplace. The price we paid appeals to them, but definitely cautious about what to expect when the items arrive (both a little cynical). I agree, there is an element of risk, but these are people's businesses, and their rep is everything on-line... so once you scan through the comments I figure you can get a pretty good feel for it all. Granted, I say that with my fingers crossed... (and enough time to get alterations if needs be)

Things are coming together quickly, decisions happening, and the elements falling in to place. I think a lot of the major decisions that need to be made will be done by the end of the week. Then part of it is hurry up and wait... although when you only have just over two months, there isn't much waiting to do!!!!!

Super Fan!

The last 24 hours has been a time of many firsts.

Last night I was officially a super fan for the Orange Crushers. *SIGH* I already miss being a part of the action, but fingers crossed, I will play again - a year from now. Of course, it seems that all mothers give me a 'knowing look' when I say that, but I can have high hopes.

We are also officially booked. In the deluge of rain and mist clinging to hills, we made it out to our location, sized it up, and laid down some dosh. Now the ball really starts to roll!!! We have a starting list, which I think will be fleshed out in the days to come, seeing as to the fact that we don't have a lot of time to linger on this stuff!

Cute Fluff

Star Wars recreated by Bunnies!!! When you need a 30 second laugh...

T G I F ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Random bits

So, I ran in to an old friend from a past life the other day. When she asked for my number, I hesitated, and really thought about it, do I need this person in my life now? Do I have anything to say? She had two kids clinging to her, and was saying that her marriage was on the rocks and then quickly followed up about the date she had been on just before NYE. She was like a strange blast from the past, a circle of friends I haven't spoken to in at least 7, maybe 8 years for many a good reason. I was like the white sheep in a bunch of black sheeps and knew it had been my time to move on. It felt weird, but I gave her my work number. Where I have call display. Cowards way out perhaps? But it felt right because I knew I didn't want to dodge her calls at home, and it would be easy enough to at work.

Once again, sometimes those past moments remind you of just how happy you are to be in your current pair of shoes.

I am definitely getting more hormonal. My moods are crazy at times, or just edgier. I have definitely had a few sniffles so far. You know, like when they play the national anthem when Canada wins at hockey again... Will have to attempt to keep a handle on that and make sure I don't scare off the people I love the most!!!

Canadian, eh?

So... You think you're Canadian? eh! This is amusing stuff, some not so known facts about this great land and it's peoples!

http://www.cbc.ca/chillybeach/trivia/trivia26.swf

Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow?

I have the feeling that this year will fly. I am mentally prepping myself to head back to work, and I know the next three days will pass by in a crazy blur of people and things to do.

The season wrapped up a little differently than the past few - our truck decided to give us a few issues on the First, so we didn't make it to a Polar Bear Dip. First time since the 98/99 year I haven't gone in!! It was strange, but I guess that was how it was meant to be. So, we had a quiet first, got the truck going again (loose evasive hose), and saw an early show... YES. That means I finally saw the latest HP. It was great. Definitely not a kiddie movie though - and all the trailers were geared at the under 10 set.. have these folks seen the movie???

Ventured in to the mall today, ran some errands, did a small exchange and was grateful that the mall was not mobbed (low tolerance for chilling in the mall, missing that gene). After all the rich food, it was time for a big greek salad for dinner. YUMMY!!!!

Just finished reading The Kite Runner. It was a great read, sad at times, but a good book and well worth spending a few hours. Amazing for a first novel, quite evokative. You don't always like the protagonist, but he does come around by the end of the tale.

Have completed avoided doing laundry. May have to break soon and get some loads going, everything else has held a lot more appeal than cleaning clothes this week. I have also emailed myself a list for tomorrow, to remind myself that I need to kick it back in to gear and get the ball rolling again - lots to do and plan in a short amount of time. Still been feeling pretty good overall, with the exception of needing to chew down on some tums, here and there!

And so went the Christmas season for 2005...

An odd tradition, befitting of ourselves was born last NYs when we took down the tree. A ceremonial burning, a few words to send off the season, and welcome the lengthening days. So, it is that time of the year again, and the tree has come down, which much needle shedding. I always feel a little sad when the tree comes down, and the decorations go away for another year, then I am amazed at how much more space we seem to have, and then the yearly cycle starts up again.



Ah, it is a sight to behold. It is also a lesson to folks out there, just how dry a real tree can get being indoors for two weeks!!! It also goes up really quickly so it is important to remember to water your tree in between the visiting, food and pressies.



Last year the tree was even dryer - even less was left behind. Yes, we totally did this safely, it was raining, and we had a garden hose, and the tree was in a heavy, cast iron holder. Yah, right we are just a little wacky and it suits us just fine.

Happy New Years!

Happy New Years!

Cheers to 2006! This is going to be one helluva year!!! Well, I would say we nicely rang in the new year, and I was surprised by how many fireworks were going off, everywhere! Lots of noise, sirens, booms...nothing like bringing in a new year with a bang. Funny that the NY channel was about 5 minutes ahead of everyone else.. LOL

A year from now, it will be interesting to note the changes - between tying the knot and babies, should be a banner year. Last year was a year of extremes, trying times, and amazing times, with all stops in between.

Speaking of which - Spirit of the West and Great Big Sea did the NYE concert in Niagra Falls, and the last song they did together was the Crawl. Ah, the song brings back many memories or singing and carousing and hanging with yer mates. They don't tour so much anymore, so I am glad Ken and i made it to a St. Paddy's day concert of theirs a few years back...

SCORE!

Sweet groooove action!

Team Canada lays out the competition in the final game of the round robin part of the World Junior Hockey championship!!

SWEEEEEEETTTTT!!!!!!

What a grand way to end the year. Great food, selfish time with your partner, a few vids, and a KICK ASS hockey game!!!!

Cause it made me laugh

Fine art of creation

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she said that one of the hardest things that she did when planning their wedding, was sitting down and creating the registry. I hadn't given it a lot of thought until then, but now it is sinking in.

We aren't kids, and when you blend two adult houses, you have the basics covered. So this whole creation of a registry is a bit daunting. What do we need, what can I project is good to have, what will we have space for, seeing as I don't see a move in the near future happening, and what are the things I haven't considered getting but maybe now could? It is an interesting thing to go through.

Some parts of the planning we are blitzing through - it definitely puts things in perspective. It is almost an adventure to plan a wedding in a shorter amount of time because you are making decisions quicker and for us, it seems like things are falling in to place. What matters to me is that I always had an idea of a 'community' wedding - one where people were a part of it, not just people who rocked up for the highly ritualized and compartmentalized weddings that seemed to be happening before. Our friends and family are involved, in the planning, brainstorming, helping with flowers, decorations, the cake, and everything else. It's been kind of cool so far, watching the pieces come together.

I have the feeling that the next three months are going to go by in a blur.

We also have to wait 2 weeks before we get to go to our first ultrasound... can't wait!!! At that point we will have a better idea of when our arrival will be making an appearance :]

Dress Shopping, 101

Ah, the joys of shopping for your wedding dress.

I am becoming more and more of a fan of EBay as time goes on. There are some wicked deals to be had. So, being an entrepreneur, and not wanting to break the bank with our upcoming nuptials, I did a quick look the marketplace to see if anything caught my fancy. To make a long story short, I found the dress PDQ, for a really good price, and was all but ready to run for it.

Well, after a few discussions, my mom convinced me that what we really should be doing is trying on some dresses (makes sense) to get a feel for the sizing, even if the sizing won't be perfect given unknown variables in the next few months, and to see if a deal here in the same price range could be found... so on the 23rd we hit a consignment shop (tried on an ok dress, but needed cleaning and lots of alterations) and then we went to a "bridal salon". Of course, read snotty wenches who figure they are god's gift to future Bridezillas out there.

We rock up, and as soon as I let out that I was getting married in a mere 3 months you could hear the sneer in the voice, and then the comment "OH. (dripping with sarcasm) You are going to have to buy off of the rack!)

Oh forsooth! Evil woman that I am for making them work for it! So, the wench took me to the wrong sizes (be-yotch!), and all they had were really princess-y type dresses with a lot of beading, and frilly crap, and they were just brutal. AND EXPENSIVE. After browsing through 50 dresses whose average price hovered over a 1000 buckeroos, my mom was on my side.

The dress on the net was very reasonable, custom made to my size, and beautiful - simple, elegant lines that will be flattering without too many accroutrements, but enough to be the right dress. So, turning on our heels, we waltzed out of the store, to no surprise to the wankers at the front counter, whom themselves were quite relieved they didn't have to hurry and help someone who wanted to get hitched so quick!

A meme to out myself, so it is all in the details..

A is for age: 32
B is for booze of choice: spiced rum
C is for career: Financial Aid Advisor in a post secondary institution
D is for your dad's name: Bob
E is for essential items to bring to a party: Booze. 7 layer dip or mexican fondue in a sourdough bowl
F is for favorite song at the moment: Devil's dance floor (Flogging Molly)
G is for favorite game: Cranium
H is for hometown: Vancouver, BC (or thereabouts)
I is for instruments you play: clarinet (not well)
J is for jam or jelly you like: strawberry
K is for kids: give it about 7 months for this to be a reality
L is for living arrangements: soon-to-be-more than a partner, 2 cats, fish, 2 bedroom suite in the 'burbs
M is for mom's name: Winnie
N is for name of your crush: The Rock
O is for overnight hospital stays: none
P is for phobias: earwigs (just gross) and a healthy respect for heights
Q is for quotes you like: "You are going up an unsanitary tributary without sufficient means of locomotion"
R is for relationship that lasted the longest: the one I'm in. Together 4 years :] and counting
S is for sexual preference: Ken.
T is for time you wake up: 7:05 am.
U is for underwear: cotton french cuts
V is for vegetable you love: corn on the cob, yam fries, carrots
W is for the wedding date: March 25th, 2006
X is for x-rays you've had: knee
Y is for yummy food you make: lasagne, stir fries, pineapple chicken, sweet and sour meatballs
Z is for zodiac sign: Taurus

post-celebratory time to relax

The last few days have passed by in a blur. I am sure that for most peoples, Christmas is intense - all the preparation, the wrapping, the cleaning, the visiting, the cooking, the cleaning, the unwrapping, the eating, the cleaning, the visiting, the catch a few hours of sleep and then do it again.

It seems like it was just the 23rd and I was finishing up my shopping, feeling pretty proud that I wouldn't have to shop on the 24th, and now, here it is the 27th, and I only have one more day off before I head back to work, albeit for a short week.

We still haven't firmed up what we want to do for New Years, I am suspecting it is a good year for a quiet NYE for just the two of us... I suspect it could be the last quiet one for a while.

The festivities have been great - lots of time with family, good food, lots of visiting, lots of real highs as we dropped our news, and just felt like it was go, go go. Today, it is a good day to stay in my robe. For a long period of time. It feels great to have no plans, and since we haven't been around a lot in the last few days, the house is still pretty much together so I feel no guilt about avoiding chores around the house.

Popular around the keyboard

Amazing how as soon as you sit down at the computer, you become really popular with your cats.

Everything that is going to happen is done :} And I am done.

Merry Christmas!!

Pineapple Express

I must say, I think it is a pineapple express that is blitzing through! It is a nice, balmy 13 celsius out there, and every now and then the skies open up for a deluge of rain. I am warm! Every now and then, I am propping the door open for some fresh air to get things moving again inside, it feels more like March than December and the first days of winter?!!

What is this strange weather on Christmas Eve?

House is just about clean, and about to give my fish a treat and clean up their tank :]

The fine art of procrastination

Unbelievably, I have already been up for a few hours.

Granted, should have been getting a head start on my day but you know when you are right into a book, and you know that book will taunt you until you have it finished??? Well, seeing as I was up, and Ken had taken off to do his running around, I lounged in bed and finished my book. Which was a great page turner I might add!

So, I have begun my vacuuming, and general tidying, hell, I think I may even find the time to bake some cookies today. It is just nice to be home and not running around. The last few weeks have been almost too busy. Who knows, maybe I will nap later on before I start to wrap my gifts.

See, still not that organized. The tree went up last night! Already shedding it's needles all over the place. I enjoy the trappings, the tree and the lights, and just spending time with people you care about... damn, another sappy moment slipped in. The cats are fun at this time of the year, they know something is up, and they shift between being completely aloof, and totally curious and you can find them in whatever box happens to be lying around...

The Wall.

Did a little shopping, got the fixings for some fajitas and homemade salsa, and then got home and vegged out. I could not be accused of any higher level thought processes going on tonight.

Other than the fact that I am gleeful to be away from work for a few days...just tired tonight. Did dishes, moved some laudry, had a bath, that was about it. I am working my way through a book, and that is damn appealing.

I was remembered by a friend in their passing, and I just found out. I cried, just remembering and missing the friendship I had, knowing how happy he would be for me now, with Ken, and the life we are building together. Sometimes life is brutal, and yet its greatest gifts are the people that it brings in to your life, for however long they happen to be there. Makes me realize how much I value the people that I hold close, how much our lives connect even when we don't see each other all the time, or talk all the time. You know that all you need to do is reach out, and they are there, part of your patchwork quilt of being.

I miss pacman

So, when you have a moment, and need a laugh ..................

How many more days do I have to get ready?

Well, the tree isn't up yet.

HoweverI, my bathroom is clean and I have some clean clothes again! And I can even see the floor in our bedroom again. I figured that we couldn't put the tree up if there was hockey gear and the remnants of two very busy, distracted weeks everywhere. So, figured I would score dinner with my folks, and cleaned house for an hour, then went and had a hour with the units. It was good, until I discovered that in my brilliance, I remembered to lock our door, but only grabbed the set of keys for my 'rents place. *AHEM*. Also thought my parents had a spare, but it was doing it's best lost impersonation, so as I gave up a productive night, ... Ken rocked up, not nearly as late from work as I figured he would be, so I was more than happy when I saw his lights in the drive!

So I continued on my merry cleaning ways, and the house is half put back together again. Where the hell did December go? Both of us will be shopping this weekend, and it just seems that the days have really flown by. Where is that being in control feeling that I spoke of a month ago, as I started my cards and baking back in November... crazy little thing called life eh? All about the curveballs and side trips along the way :]

Sized for the Holidays

Now you only need to have one beer!

First Day of Winter

Winter Solstice has arrived marking the shortest day, and the longest night of the year. Now we start to work our way back to the light!

The last days of the year are marching by, and I think I will have a chance to catch my breath one of these days...this December seems to have been crazy, a lot of changes are afoot, exciting stuff, and my head has been spinning trying to keep up with it all.

At it's core, there has been some clarity this month as well. The course I just took, through VCC's Instructor Diploma program was empowering. I wish all instructors in post secondary took this course and used this program to improve their teaching. It was such a high to be in that kind of environment with a bunch of very diverse teachers (everything from someone teaching the Hawai'ian form of massage to diesel engines, to classroom aides). This helps guide me back to the idea of at some point being a teacher. I only have one more course, and then the practicum and I am done this program. Then, hopefully there will be another step in that path in the direction of teaching, even if it is at a later date.

I still haven't done my shopping. I am such a last minute shopper.

Tree will be going up tonight!!

Will be time to tame the housework beastie too, been way too easy to ignore the state of affairs in my house the last few weeks. Time to do a big clean before the rellies come out for Christmas!

What snowmen do in the off season

Craziness

Monday morning, and it feels like it is 10:20 at night, not in the am.

I think I am fading, already! I am fantasizing about having a nap, and wondering how many half-lists I have kicking around. It feels like in the last two weeks all I have managed to do is to get things half done. Like half of my cards in the mail, half being carted around waiting for me to make it in to the post office. The house is mess, and well, haven't been home long enough to care. The lights are up, and look great, but I think Wednesday will be official tree getting day. Had some lofty plans for baking, remember that back when, and some got done, other stuff is still a plan.

I have lots of grand ideas floating around, can't wait to see what will come to fruition.

Halfway through the day

I must remind myself next year not to take a course that falls on back to back weekends, the weekends before Christmas.

However, I had a great morning. My dad and I went to a home improvement store to sort out a new kitchen countertop since mine is officially toast and deteriorating rapidly. We were there as the store opened, armed with some Timmy Ho's, stuffed with a warm blueberry fritter, and ready to wreak havok on some poor clerk who was barely awake. Made some decisions, got the job done, spent some time with my dad, and viola. Here I am at school. I did all that before 9AM!

Of course now I am ready for a nap and quite grateful that my class tonight only goes until 3pm. The neurons are definitely stalling right now.

The Unknown Factor

I am stealing this from Refinnej who grabbed it from someone else!

This meme is about listing 10 things that most people don't know about you, strange and unusual facts (for me, still wordy!)

1. I love popcorn. This would be the snack I will generally return too.

2. I moved around a lot when I was a kid and pretty much went to a different school every year until I got in to the highschool years.. then I only switched schools once. I have a bizarre attitude about moving, and actually staying in one place for a period of time. The last three places that I have lived I have spent good chunks of time there (11 years, 3 years, 2.5 years) and the stability is cool, but still a bit of an adjustment. It throws me sometimes that people don't move as much as we did growing up.

3. I have two degrees plus a few extra credits. They are in English, and then History and Humanities from SFU. At times I undervalue my education because it is something that I have always done, and I am a course junkie in many ways. I am having a helluva time making the jump in to a masters, and I like to think because it hasn't been the right time in my life to make that jump. One day.

4. I had perfect 80's hair and used to go through a bottle of hairspray in about a week when I was a teenager. I loved the big hair bands for a few yeards, papered my walls with their posters and was over it before I was 16. Then I went for perms instead, now I have gone au natural.

5. I can actually handle country music now. Used to avoid it like the plague, but with music in the last five years, at least country singers still sing. Not that I still don't like some punk and alternative, but my tastes have grown up some.

6. I have a quiet side. Not many people see the loner side of me that enjoys the time that I get to spend alone, just puttering away doing whatever. A lot of people just see my extroverted side, and discount the fact that I could actually enjoy just being introverted and quiet for a change.

7. I think that travelling is really important. It doesn't matter how far you go, or how much you spend to go there. I think that having a change of scenary every now and then is good for the soul. Because of my dad being in construction growing up, we didn't always do a lot of trips. As soon as I turned 19 I made it a priority to get away whenever I had two nickels that I could rub together. Will try to continue this, and I am eternally grateful that I fell in love with someone that shares my sense of adventure and seeing new places.

8. I really miss having a dog. I love having my animals around me - the cats, the fish, but I miss the company of a dog too. I don't think it is the right time in our life to have one, but I consider myself a cat and dog person, and eventually we will have both.

9. I met my partner playing co-ed hockey. It was funny because both of us figured that the other one was in a relationship until a highly revelatory conversation took place in the pub at the rink many, many years ago. It has been great ever since, and ironic, since I was at a stage in my life where I was not really looking and was happy in the place that I was in. I love the fact that we share a love of hockey, I like being a superfan and hanging with the hockey wives and tailgating after his games, and I love being able to play together. Damn cool.

10. As a result of moving around so much when I was a kid, I realized that friends are friends no matter where you live and they live. So it seems that my closest friends live where-ever, and it makes me glad for blogs, and email, and long distance phone plans. Friendships need a little work over time to make sure they continue to flourish, but they shouldn't be work. I think the best friendships start and pick up where you left off, and you get celebrate the highs together, and cry over the hardships together. I used to spend hours on the phone when I was younger, and now I hate spending too much time with a phone plastered to my ear.

Glad to be home...

Just got in a while ago from the island. The very big drawback of Vancouver Island is BC Ferries.

Nothing like showing up 40 minutes before a sailing (admittedly without a reservation) and it is already sold out, so now you get to wait an additional 2 hours before the next sailing. Of course, the woman at the toll booth said there was still a shot at getting on, we were more than 20 cars off of getting on board, why hand out false hope? Worse than playing bingo.

Then, we were snarled in traffic caused by a major accident, then construction.. the 40 minute drive home from the ferry turned into closer to an hour and a half. So today, it was like the commute that never ended. Left a meeting in Victoria at 3:30 and arrived home minutes before 10, done like dinner but so glad to be home!

Brilliant marketing...

PS We finally got our truck through aircare without major fussing!!!!What a relief!

YAY!

I just finished writing out the last (I think) of my Christmas cards!! PHEW! Nice to have them done before December 24th (been there, done that).

I have discovered a strange pet peeve over the last few years. It seems that my aunts and uncles on my mom's side, in fact, even my cousins, when sending out their cards still send them to my parents (not a separate one to Ken and I)... such "Bob and Winnie, Karen and Kelly" Being my brother and I. He is 27, and I am 32 and as good as married. I don't get it. I started sending out my own cards more than 10 years ago!!!!! Yes, we reside at the same physical address as my folks, but we do not live with them. We have separate lives, separate entrances and parking places, and no connecting staircase. We see each other as much as parents and their kids do once said kids are adults. We co-own, we are independent. I am not sure why this irks me.

Do they expect us to share the card?? A week with the folks, a week with me, and then a week with my brother at his place?? Now, I can understand sending 2 cards in one envelope, and getting one of us to pay it forward but this is a pet peeve. Up there with parking tickets (a corrollary of paying to park).

/rant over

Strange one

Last night I turned the last page in SE Hinton's stab at adult lit, "Hawkes Harbour". Freaking bizarre novel I must say. The front cover boasts that the book will tromp through "vampires, pirates, and lusty french socialites". I am not saying that I hated this book by any stretch, it was a weird book, and a fast read. In a sense it could be described as character driven, but it was not nearly as compelling as her first book, which in many ways is a rite of passage for kids to read (The Outsiders) as they come of age. This book left me feeling bereft, I have been half looking forward to this latest attempt since I first saw the book on the stands, but it didn't measure up to my own preconcieved notions. Between looting stories, and drunken episodes, and shifting timescapes, mental disorders and dependence, and a cured vampire, it is a strange way to pass a few hours.

Mighty Mouse

Houston! We have a mouse!

Apparently with much noise and bumping around, we had a mouse foraging in the cabinet over the stove. The wee bugger got in through the space around the exhaust pipe, so there are bits of insulation all over the place, red river cereal (apparently mice don't like mulled apple cider mix, who knew?) droppings, and thankfully, the mouse isn't an alcoholic and left the bottles alone.

I guess with the colder temps the little creatures are driven in. I would love to know how a mouse in a house with 3 cats has managed to live so long, but he did manage to scurry back in to the nowhere before we could find him, and to his credit, he was trapped in the cabinet and didn't hit the floor running.

Would be interesting to see what my cats would do - being indoors for the majority of their lives. They are both doing well - the Ripper seems to have made a full recovery and is still as affectionate as ever.

Double Whammy

It has been a strange week so far, some amazing highs between a winning hockey game friday night, a quiet night at home saturday with my sweetie, hanging with family, and finally getting some picks right for our football pool (I think we nailed second).

Admist all this, I also managed to get out of my truck funny in the Safeway parking lot, tweaking my knee and have a nasty cold. So between sneezing and coughing and whining about my sore knee, I am a bundle of joy right now!

So, I am staying home and taking care of myself. I know when I crave 5 alive juice and mandarins that I am still under the weather but hopefully on the mend, quickly.

Well, almost.

After that short burst of Christmas related activities a few weeks ago, I currently find myself contemplating writing out those cards I had high hopes for getting out before or around the first, and a few more things that need baking. I haven't really devised a list yet of what I need to get done, but I am sure that is around the corner.

We are melting out there!!! It is strange to have the white stuff on the ground. Yes, I know I have made a lot out of our weather lately, but snow is novel, especially when it doesn't immediately turn to slush. Perhaps enough out there for a sloppy snow angel, but there it is still kicking around and it has been a few days. Normally we get teased with winter, not actually have to experience it for more than a few days in a row... like Jen - sitting at -20. HOLY SHIT BATMAN. And I am whining about the damp weather we have hovering at 0?? It is all relative is all I can lay claim to. Ours is a wet cold and it penetrates much quicker.

Ken is going to put up our lights today, and I am excited. I love having lights up, and then I love decorating the tree. This is the season we first got together and I remember a lot of firsts, like our first real date when he helped me out with my tree and I got to see him in a suit as he left to go to a work party! He looked AWESOME! What a way to leave a great impression on a gal!

Been feeling somewhat funky lately, but I am working at shaking it off. I think it is a'happening, I am pleased to say. Hockey game last night was great, we won, and everyone else figured I had a decent game, but I had just gotten my skates sharpened and did a not so graceful fall on the blue line when I missed grabbing an edge. Still haven't fully gotten back in to watching the NHL again, I watch the highlights, but it certainly hasn't been prominent in my life. During the strike last year, I moved on a fair bit.

Zinger

My work week is over! YAY!

And I can't believe that it is December already. Where has 2005 gone? Another election has been called for this wonderful country and it is time for the bandwagons to be wheeled out. I have a thing against all the signs that the politicians post, promoting their names and affiliation. What a waste of resources. Yes, I understand that much is about name recognition, but it quickly becomes ridiculous. Give it 6 weeks and there will be tonnes of signs on street corners, obscuring your view of anything else. A veritable stand of trees, with messages, that are easy to ignore as your drive by at 50 km/h.

Learned a few new concepts today about Financial Literacy for college and university students and how it can be a core indicator for student success, retention, completion, and ability to service debts upon graduation. Interesting stuff, and although this came from more of an American p.o.v., it will have more and more relevance to Canadian models as links are forged between Financial Literacy and Success over time. It is a new field, and I think it would be one that I would like to do some research in to, given the chance.

Tidbits

1. It is snowing again! It is beautiful outside and we had a mini-snowball fight in the driveway with my brother this morning
2. This is great article about the 25% hike in service calls that Canon Photocopier$ get in the festive season as a direct result of people phocopying their various naked bits after partaking in some holiday cheer. Now that is funny as hell!!!!

How are you?

Sometimes this question can really trip me up.

How to answer - brutally honest, and let it all hang out. Or do you spare the person the details and just go with an easy "fine".

Sometimes when people ask you how they are doing, they are just being polite and don't really want to hear the long story and gruesome details. Sometimes, you can tell that the person really cares, and then you are in a position where do you really want to go there, or is it easier for you to retreat to said earlier position?

I find it hard some days to answer this question because it can be easy to get caught up in the mundane trivial stuff that grates on your normally optimistic outlook... So generally I go with my gut instincts, how I am feeling in that particular moment and whom is doing the asking.

This morning I think I would have liked to have stayed in bed.

SNOW!

It is Grey Cup Sunday today, and I think with all the folks in town from East of Hope and the Coast Mountains have brought with them some intrepid weather from the rest of Canada. When I got up this morning, it was SNOWING! It was beautiful. Not enough to stick... yet. The temperature is still hovering just above zero, and I thinking that we could see some more in the next few days. Prolly won't last, but a novely when it happens. It is always amusing that a few inches of snow all but shuts down the coast for a day or two.

I always find it strange when I watch weather snippets from the rest of Canada, the cold, white, frozen north. West Coast is so different, all the way up to Alaska. A true rainforest that stays pretty mild and damp, while the rest of the country(ies) are held in the grip of winter, we have days where you could easy head for the slopes in the morning and go for a walk on the beach at night. Maybe not always, but not far from the truth either. It blows my mind - you can head not even 100 km in, and the weather is completely different.

Last night we hooked up with some dear friends and went for "all you can eat" Sushi and Korean B-B-Q. Damn fine night. We get spoiled with out fresh seafood and the wares last night were awesome. We topped it off with a few different kinds of gelato - green tea, mango, and coconut. The last two were divine, I am not quite in to green tea gelato at this stage of the game. We even had a private room, so it didn't matter how loud and racous we could be/were. Great service, and really good variety. Funny, I think the more sushi you try, the more you end up craving it. Before, once a year was enough for me and now I can definitely eat it anytime. There are a few things I won't go near, and some items that amaze me that I like. The salmon sashimi is something else though.

Off to prepare for some Grey Cup festivities...

The Crush delivered

We had a great game last night, breaking our last few games of just not playing up to our potential. It has been two weeks since we played, and I missed it. We won, 7-2, and it was great to get out for a skate, even if it happened at 11pm and I was TIRED to begin with. We only had 3 girls out (again) so I played most of the game (being coed, we have to have a minimum 2 girls on the ice at all times). We did shorter shifts so I didn't quite feel like I needed the oxygen tent the whole game :] Kenny played well in net, and all in all, the girls played awesome for only having three of us!

Today has been a move slowly, watch a vid, do some housecleaning type day. Was feeling blechy around the edges, so taking it easy was a welcome break.

Rambles

Sometimes it is hard to capture the thoughts that are running through my head and pay enough attention to them to see them through.

Some of my thoughts are like silverfish, darting in to my consciousness and then they are gone in a flash. Or like a silverfish, they weave and dance a little before they disappear, teasing me.

Sometimes I liken the way my mind works to a skipping CD - bouncing between half finished topics in a rush, only to return to one, and then skip forward, and somehow managing to keep most of the threads in order in between apparently random and disconnected thought processes.

Sometimes my mind is like a sieve, easily distracted, or like teflon, where nothing seems to stick. Or when I have so many thoughts trying to get out at one time that they all log jam and I end up sounding like the village idiot.

The fine art of communication

I have had a strange day. My presentation went off without a hitch today! My technology worked, I had a handful of people out, I didn't flush red, and people seemed grateful for me being me and the information that I disseminated. Transit home worked smooth - my train rocked up pretty quick, and my bus was waiting at the station. An easy end to a long day.

Until I called my mother.

All of my communication skills mean nothing when I talk to her. I love her dearly, but it seems at times we speak two different languages. We approach life so differently, and how we interact with people. I think our five minute conversation quickly became terse, and we ended on a cheesy note in which I had an instant flashback of being any age, feeling frustrated with my mum and wondering how we got from A to H in less than 6 seconds flat. Those are the moments I want to lean over to my dad and tell him that I think it is good we are united in many of our personality traits, as it seems my brother and mum reflect each other a bit. I wonder about that - gender dynamics between siblings and their parents, and how each interacts. Dads look out for their girls, and mums look out for their boys.

Time to pull up with a good book, this week at times has already been a slog. Had a nice "not seeing eye to eye moment" about office temperatures yesterday. Well not much of a disagreement, apparently I can have a few vents moved and just cope. Out of spite I brought in an old sweater to wear, one that my gran used to have, my inheritance. So I can wrap myself in a big hug that reminds me of someone near and dear and change my own temperature and gripe about the battle I had no chance of even showing up to.

100 Random Things

I started this list back in November 2005!!!!! This was before I got pregnant, before we got married, before out lives evolved! Crazy eh???

1. I was hatched and raised in British Columbia, somewhat rare in these parts since many people have moved here from the rest of Canada and beyond
2. I am in my 'early' 30s
3. I am as good as married, even if we haven't done the deed yet
4. I am glad that we met when we did, and I didn't expect it when it happened
5. I have 2 cats
6. I have african cichlids (fish)
7. I have a lot of plants
8. I have a lot of books, and am finally getting better at paying forward the pocket books which I won't read again
9. I love playing ice hockey
10. I enjoy knitting
11. I love being in the ocean, near the ocean, near any body of water
12. I wish I could be more of an environmentalist but I recognize my limitations
13. I read voraciously
14. I have written a lot of poetry over the years, some good, some not so good
15. I have taken way too many post secondary level credits
16. I love plaid
17. I recycle as much as I can
18. I collect rocks
19. I love to travel
20. I cry when animals get hurt in movies
21. I can't carry a note
22. I am a morning person, once I am up
23. I love a good cup of coffee in the morning
24. I like reading the Sunday paper
25. I love that moment before the day starts and you are snuggled up with your honey in bed, and the cats are wrapped around your legs
26. I have a bird of paradise plant that is five years old and I hope that 2 years from now that it will bloom
27. I love popcorn.
    
28. I hate paying for parking and parking tickets
29. Learning how to breast feed is really tough
    
30. I am stubborn.
31. I don't give up easily.
32. I love punk celtic rock
33. Watching Brandon grow and change has been humbling
34. We had a "shot gun" wedding and I loved every minute of it
35. I never expected to be sober for my stag, or for my wedding
36. Helping hands that come forward with gently used items when you have a baby is amazing
37. Catching up with old and new friends once you have a baby is really cool
38. Facebook is some crazy stuff - reconnecting with people on a superficial level, and actually rediscovering connections that were put to the side for a time
39. I like trucks.
40. I don't miss driving a 5 speed as much as I thought I would
41. I like growing plants
42. I like rose gardens
43. I really don't like any of Vancouver's radio stations. Some days it floors me to admit that a talk radio show, or even a country radio show can be better than the rest of the offerings
44. My musical tastes have been trapped in a state of limbo, I really haven't been exposed to all that much new stuff I actually like
45. I want to see ZZ Top, Flogging Molly, and George Leach in concert. Talk about extremes eh?
46. I have a brother that is 5 years younger than me.
47. I like to camp.
48. I love to travel.
49. I have read all of the Harry Potter books and I think they ended well.
50. I hated how the Sopranos ended.
51. I have a tan for the first time in years
52. We got married on March 25, 2006
53. Brandon was born on July 24, 2006
54. I want to see Yosemite.
55. For some reason, I want to go back to Hawaii one day.
56. I would like another try at outrigger.
57. Having a power boat would be really cool to get out and explore more of BC's rugged coastline.
58. I love cross border shopping.
59. I like cheese.
60. Coming up with 100 random things about myself is hard work.
61. I enjoy going to the tulip festival in la connor and looking at all the colours.
62. This summer I visited Nej and her boys, and it blew me away when I looked in the backseat and between us we had 3 boys. 20 years ago, it was just us.
63. I want to go whale watching at the north end of Vancouver island.
64. I have a yen to do a hot springs of BC driving tour in the fall.
65. I want a masters degree one day.
66. One day, I would like to have my student loans paid off.
67. I have both an outgoing side, and a real loner streak.
68. I like doc martens.
69. I like to wear white shirts, even if they never stay clean.
    
70. I want another tattoo.
71. I don't think I will get more piercings.
72. One day, we will get a dog.
73. I was born in Richmond, BC
74. Watching the Vancouver Giants win the Memorial Cup live was AWESOME
75. My son has blue blue eyes and dimples!
76. I never thought that cosleeping would be an option but it works
77. I miss my dear friends who don't live in the lower mainland dearly, and am so grateful the lot of you stay connected by whatever means works with all of our crazy lives.
78. I really try to be a good friend.
79. I have seen the northern lights.
80. I like to travel in June and September
81. I want to start doing some drop in yoga sessions.
82. I love massage therapy
83. I like having my toenails painted.
84. I like taking pictures of my feet in funky places.
85. I like reading both high brow literature and page turner thrillers
86. I like reading just about anything, and recently signed up for the national geographic magazine as my bathroom reading material
87. I never knew I could care so much about another person's bowel movements before we had Brandon
88. having kids does change you, no matter how much you yell and scream and deny that it will change you
89. having kids doesn't mean you can't do what you used to do, you just do it differently
90. I got to see part of the original Cariboo wagon trail and it made my day in a geeky way
91. I like guinness.
92. I like spiced rum.
93. I like blackberries.
94. I don't like tuna or tomato soup.
95. I am almost there and I am running out of juicy little tidbits to relate.
96. I think that my friendships are really cool now, even if I don't get to see all my girlfriends that often (kids, husbands, family, work... )
97. I am in a book club, and it makes me gleeful
98. I am trying to get out walking as many days of the week that I can.
99. I like to take the path less traveled.
100. I like arrowroot biscuits.

AND THAT IS ALL FOLKS.

The first 25 or so were from almost 2 years ago. O M G !!! where does the time go?? And wow, has every thing changed or what?? Funny how some years are everything about change, and some years you just float on through.

Pea Soup

For the last few days, and for the next few days, the coast has been literally cloaked in pea soup fog. Viz has been reduced to just beyond the edge of your car, a half k (1/4 mile) in every direction until everything disappears in to the mist.

Makes me glad that I don't have curly hair (read spiral perms of the 80s to give some life to my very straight hair), otherwise the dampness would turn it in to frizz. It is a cloying, cold damp that clings to you, making you shiver. It also looks bizarre, there are fog patches in my back yard! Almost time to hang the christmas lights to bring light to the dark!! The other part to it, is you leave for work in a fog, go for a walk at lunch, in a fog, and you guessed it, you leave from work in a darker fog! Today will be a longer day since I have to do a presentation later, if anyone decides to show. Part of me hopes that some do, the other part has all crossables crossed that my technology works. The few presentations I have done have been an ongoing learning curve on how to fix technology that doesn't work how it should.

Some days are like this...

snippet from afternoon TV

"you are up an unsanitary tributary without sufficient means of locomotion"

now, if you were a script writer, and you came up with a line like that, would you waste it on afternoon TV?

try rolling that one off your tongue and not laughing. It definitely had me and my sidekick in stitches!

where the hell did my six days off go?

why does that time seem to go by in half the time that the rest of the time goes by in?

*SIGH*

ah well, finish running some errands today and trying to get my head back in to the game and failing miserably.

Kazzicus Domesticus, volume 1

Day two of my week at home and I am covered in flour.

My kitchen is covered in flour.

There isn't a spare counter that doesn't have something spilled on it, er on it.

However, I am ploughing through my Christmas baking. It is nice to know I can stick this stuff in the freezer and I am set for the next 6 weeks. I have a course that runs 2 weekends in December, so if I don't really get it done now, it won't get done. It is nice to show up at someone's house with a plate of goodies :]

I have already made, in no particular order:

ginger snap cookies
sourdough star cookies
chocolate haystack bar (instead of drop cookie version)
chocolate/peanut butter marshmellow bar
date square
butter tarts

I still need to make shortbread, and a few other things, but I done for today. Time to take some selfish time and fritter away the rest of my day with a good book.

Hell, maybe even put my kitchen back to the way it was before the flour monster hit.

This could be the first time in ten years I get my Christmas cards in the mail before December 24th... I know, all the cynics out there, but it may actually happen!!!

Sleep, interrupted

My first day off, of a few. It feels strange being off with no big plans, or plans to get out of dodge. Instead, I am doing the odds and sods around the house you never seem to have enough time for.

You know how it is, attempting to sleep in to be woken up by a telemarketer, only to realize an hour later when you wake up in a true sweat that someone forgot to turn the heat off so it is a balmy 90 degrees and you feel slightly naseaous as a result. It was a good day, I have no idea where the time went, nor did I feel all that motivated to get my personal list of chores done. No more laundry to do, which is a bonus.

It is strange not really having an agenda though - I think I will do some baking, I will try to catch up with a few friends, but there is nothing absolutely pressing. Maybe get the car through aircare (finally) and perhaps attempt to relax too.

I have a thick folder of my poetry attempts, I think a side project will be to put them in an electronic format and perhaps work on them a bit. Judging from the stack of paper, that is a job in itself! Other than that, nothing all that prolific is coming to mind tonight.