Monday, February 27, 2006

The ugly (but, attitude adjustment in the works)

Yup. This is a day that will go down in the books. Am currently pulling up boots just so and looking for the silver lining because the alternative, well, face it, it is ok to wallow for a bit, and then you have to dust yourself off and move on.

If things happen in threes, I completed that cycle today, damn fast.

Destroyed new lipstick by running through the wash. Minor, chaulk it up to experience.

Diagnosis: root canal next monday. Conversation with doctor over safety of taking an antibiotic when pregnant and having an infection, ok to take short term. Should help with the pain, and make the procedure not so nasty. Needless to say, I will be seeing my dentist a lot in the next 2 months and am glad that it is being taken care of. I didn't wait this time, so I probably caught things in time (which is a change since I used to wait for some stupid reason before.. so this is a good thing).

Student loans - if I had not called today, I would not have discovered their latest mistake. Of course, the bank does not err in your favor, it works for itself. This goes back to the September fiasco, and now it is in my hands to get them to investigate their mistake. ARGH!!!!

The not so good

The last few days my gums have been a bit dodgy up in the upper left hand quadrant, and I have been feeling a wee bit nervous about what has been going on up there (even though I have been practising some of the best personal dental care of my life)..

Well, by last night, I was getting a cold feeling in my gut that all was not right, and things were heading south. Ken could tell something was up, and it all had to do with old fears of dental work, and knowing I was heading for more. If I tap on the tooth, it hurts like hell. If I push on the area around it, yup, that hurts too. When I smile.. my cheek hurts.


After not sleeping much last night, and waking up in pain, and chewing on ice cubes to numb the area, I knew I was making a call to the dentist in the morning because this does not bode well. My appt is at 2:30 and I hope this isn't leading to a root canal... *SIGH* And nope, this isn't the tooth that I managed to sheer off three weeks ago, that was the right side. I guess I am aiming for balance this go around.

The good..

Yesterday I went to a shower hosted by Ken's side of the family. It was strange, I was a little nervous in the morning before I went.. I started to do house cleaning, and just putzing around before I actually started to get ready. It was a wonderful afternoon, and I felt very spoiled and very grateful. Everything also became a lot more real in those moments, especially when I realized that I was being truly welcomed in to a new family, and that hat full of bows was for me!!!
It felt like a rite of passage when it was tied under my chin, and it was a great day.

By the time I got home though, I was done like dinner. I felt all chatted out, and just a bit tired around the edges. Lots to take in, and I think I needed some processing time.

I think the wedding plans are going well, I have a big list of which I am slowly crossing things off, and in the next week, I will try to nail down as many deets as possible.

Also had a little shopping excusion the other day to MAC. Avoided the ladies there, and went for the young man with full lipstick and concealer on to help us out. He was great - showed me some great tips on what to do, and I learned that some of my facial redness comes from the fact that I have DRY skin??? WHO KNEW. Talk about denial... once he applied a liberal amount of moisturizer on my face, he went to say I will let that soak in before I try to show you how to hide your redness and the gallon of cream was already soaked in and he proceeded to use a different kind of face powder that didn't give me a pale matte look!!! Well, that was a learning experience. I haven't been open to help with makeup for years, so it was a great experience and I have some great notes (and a few new items) for the big day!! (Gilly you would be so proud!!)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

A naked cat

So, I had to wander in to my friendly local vet's office and pick up some of the preventative cat food for the boys, and decided to ask a few questions about things that they had heard regarding cats and the introduction of a new family member.

Well, I realize that I am talking about a baby, and well, they start talking about the new naked cat that comes home with us.

Naked cat?

It took me a minute, but essentially the cats probably will look at our wee bairn as a hairless cat that gets coddled an awful lot, without even spending time grooming itself!! They had some great suggestions - spacing out the changes in our life so it isn't a dramatic event that happens over the course of a weekend. (well, I am sure it will still be dramatic, and hopefully quick..)

What they were getting at is stuff like moving the litter box about a month before baby is due, and changing the room around early, and even playing a tape of a baby crying, just so that noise isn't quite so foreign to them. Apparently babies can hit some really strange pitches, which can resemble some caterwawls, so early conditioning may not be a bad thing...

Was quite the image though - two four legged hairy cats meeting the two legged hairless one.

Crazy stuff.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Thought of the moment

"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground"

See. Nothing wrong in life with being a total nutter. See, proof that I am indeed grounded.

Besides learning how to let go of some stuff, I am also learning how to start to say "no"in a more effective manner. I have tended to overcommit myself at times, and well, given the NWO, it is time to be a little more focused on the homefront and trim off the not so necessary parts. Ok, talk about dancing around an issue and not coming out and saying it eh? I have been involved in a few committees at work, and the time has come to look at them under the microscope and make decisions on what I am, and not able to do at this time. It does refocus things when it starts to become a reality that I will be going on a mat leave in a few months, and there will an automatic dissociation that comes with it. It is actually quite "free-ing". A time to break some old patterns, maybe start a few new ones, slowly over the next 1-2 years.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Work in Progress

There are a few times in my life where I really figured that I had a handle on things, and then it seems that the rug shifted beneath my feet, and nothing was as I thought it was, and somewhere along the line, lo and behold, there I went changing again.

In this particular moment, I feel like a work in progress. So aware of some things - I definitely can feel that nesting need coming on (nicely identified Candy) and then that is coupled with the "urge to purge" and the ability to actually let go of things that I have held on to for so many years I have forgotten why it was so important to hold on to those things. Or ideas. Or so unsure of others, where does that momentary insecurity come from? Need to feel like you are on the right track? That rush of emotions that just makes you wonder, and go, WTF??!! Then I distract myself with the cleaning tactic. I feel like I am back in university and avoiding studying or writing an exam - must clean instead!! My room used to never be as clean as the day before a big essay was due. Such a funny thing procrastination.

Clarity in communication seems to be coming up these days. More so with my online class, and then a few issues cropping up around the place of employment. I find that I am sifting through my repsonses, and taking my time more than usual before I respond to things. I feel more protective of myself, my position, and not willing to jeopardize my integrity or position.

And now I also realize it isn't about just me about more. I really have the makings of a family happening here. It is really cool. I have to watch my stress, not over-extending myself, not saying yes to too many things and finding myself fried and crispy at the end of the day, or the week. I thought I was mature before, but now it is a different kind of maturity. It helps refocus some of the other stuff, and be glad for the simpler things too - being loved, being healthy, moving in to the future instead of languishing in the past.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


I finally finished reading Hawaii.

Although I have been reading this book for what seems to be forever, I was still sad to turn the last page and realize that the book ends in 1956. I wanted more. It is amazing epic novel that sweeps generations of people. I like learning about the west - the people that came, why they came, concepts of wilderness, wild places, the last frontiers, what people left behind, how ex-pats can be more loyal than the people left behind...

But, now I get to move on to fluffier reads for a bit, and a few books on being preggers. The books do help, you pick and choose, and some stuff resonates, and some stuff just sails clear past your head. My mat appts have been to my mind strange, I half expect my doc to sit down, run through a checklist, and it is more like, check bloodpressure, etc, check fundal height, check weight, hear heartbeat, see what can be spotted on an ultrasound, room for a few questions, and then I am back out booking my next appointment. I guess because everything is so new, and there is built in trust trust that you are doing reading and research on your own, and that you are making informed choices as a healthy adult that has a desire to give your baby the best chance that you can...

Neat quote

Working through my section on motivation, I stumbled upon this neat quote:

"In education, as in other meetings between human beings, the wind of the spirit blows where it will. In the end all education is self-education. Somehow or other the learners must come to care sufficiently about what is intrinsic to these worthwhile activities so that they no longer have any need of extrinsic motivation."

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Signs of the time

Moved all the bags of books to my mom's (check)
Donated a bag of books (check)
Shifted grandparent's night table to my brother's house and out of our place (check)
Dispersed other odds and sods that have been kicking around, gathering dust (check)
Have oddly more room in second bedroom, and in bookshelve (check)

Slowly just puttering away so far today. I have been definitely going through a period where it is "ok" to let some of the clutter go. IT FEELS GREAT! It also feels strange. I have held on to some things for so long, to let it go and not worry about that clutter anymore, like wow. Feels like a new concept, although I am sure it is old hat to the converted.

Also been experiencing a sign'o'th'times in which every now and then, it is like the baby does indeed shift inside, even at this early stage, and plunks itself on your bladder. I do my biz, and then 10 minutes later, there I am there again, thinking "didn't I just do this?!?!?!" This goes on for about an hour until jr shifts and releases the pressure.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Books, books, and more books.

I have stuff coming out of my ying yang. The byproduct of 32 years of being a pack rat.

I thought that I went through and got rid of a lot of stuff back when I turned 30, just in time for our last move. At the time, I believe that I did. Hell, I finally got rid of papers that I had been holding to since I was a teenager.

Well, it is time to get rid of more of the pocketbooks that I have been holding on to for about the same amount of years. There are so many books out there that I haven't read, why I am holding on to the trade books? (mental note, I do differentiate between what I consider intellectual forays and those that are 1-4 night dashes that are purely for escapist reasons)

There are a wack by Nora Robert$ that my mom figures she will reread when she retires, so the three additional stuff bags I have of the, she is more than welcome too and I am no longer going to store them. It feels quite free'ing actually. To not have a few hundred books sitting on a shelf, getting dusty, quietly whispering - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??? You have no intention to read us?!

So I have a few piles, the ones I will take and sell to a bookstore in Victoria (eventually), a pile that I will use at the local bookstore as trades, the ones I will just donate, ones my interested friends have already read and fall in to one of the other categories, the ones for my mom, and ones I will just pay forward and release in to the wild.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Thursday, February 9, 2006


So, I attempted to set something of a bridal registry up today. BAH. What an experience!!! I was definitely not thrilled with the selection at my local Bay store, and not with most of the prices either!! I ended up looking at the registry as more of a guideline, not this is where I want this item from, or this name brand from!!! I also created a pretty slim registry as well...

For example, I want a white fabric shower curtain - but not for the tune of $89.99 !! LIKE O M G

Some stuff was just outrageous, and I know I can do so much better for both selection and price... really makes you stop and go HMMMM. Like a wedding photo album.. all they had were memory albums, and well, I have a guest book so much of the information in the "memory" album is redundant and I want somewhere to put my pictures! I think that has been one of the hardest things, figuring out what we want and need, and then figuring out how to get that out to people, if they want ideas. I don't make a good shopper. By the time I walked out there, I was ready to go home and just have a moment. Plus those people want to chat, and I got an eye roller. And then when you really needed someone on the sales floor, they would start to run the other way as soon as you made eye contact!!

WEIRD... WEIRD... WEIRD. Just having a general list sure sounds like a better idea right now. Why does Ken have to be more right about these kind of things?

Wednesday, February 8, 2006

Creative idleness

We had a PD day at work - ethics and education. Heady stuff. First speaker was an interesting enough chap, but I couldn't help but squirm in my seat a whole lot. He seemed a bit off topic, mostly discussing Nunvut as a new territory and how unique it is - not sure how that fits in to a day that is focused on the two E's!... attended a workshop by Vancouver Sun reporter D. Todd who writes on "religion, spirituality, and ethics". Now this was a great session of ideas, just talking about the topics that normally make people want to squirm in their seats. These hours flew by - Todd mentioned something called "creative idleness" to describe how to deal with boredom that the young and aging seem to experience, and that objectivity doesn't exist, but one could strive for "objective pragmatism" in their lives. I agree, individuals don't get enough time to talk about the big things - Beauty, Art, Truth.. what it means to live as a "good" person. Some great ideas were floating about the room if you could hold on to one long enough to make it your own.

Nothing like getting fed, and then going in to another workshop. I definitely had some carb let downs in the afternoon, and it was so stuffy, and then by contrast so nice outside, it was hard not to look out the window and yearn to be out there, with the wind in my hair. Nothing like talking about climate at work, and knowing that the people who really needed to be at this workshop weren't. We had some improve to finish the day, and by then I was done with small talk. News is spreading, so it means that lots of little chats, which are nice, but as extroverted as I am... I still want to be able to retreat somewhere and recharge my batteries!

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Fading quick

Wow. I sat down here feeling somewhat inspired to type out something.. and not it feels like my brain has gone to a pulp and I don't think I have much that is interesting to say!

This year is shaping up pretty cool, between our big events, dear friends are also expecting, got an invite in the mail for another friend's wedding in August (crossing all fingers that it works out to attend since they are coming in from the UK), and the pieces of our own plans slowly coming together.

It's funny, I can have all these big plans of what I want to get done when I get home from work, and then I get home, and they appear to vanish. I am still pretty tired at nights, and ironically enough I am doing the section in my online course about MOTIVATION. Of which I have none right now. I know I could be logging in and doing some reading, or responding to the online stuff I need to contribute, but the desire just ain't a'happening right now. Will be bailing soon to dash between the covers and continue my way through Hawaii. Which is turning out to be a great read. A long read, and I guess Wilbur Smith at times can be somewhat like James Michener, perhaps just not quite as detailed.

Monday, February 6, 2006

Alex, can I buy 2 more hours a day?

Monday? Again?

And what is thou burning ball of light in the sky? The previous post became oddly prophetic as the rains started, pushed on by ferocious winds, including a power outage! (first in many years) Until things started looking up yesterday. There are branches scattered about the backyard, but everything looks freshly washed, because it was by the driving rain.

The big game yesterday was frustrating as hell. It reminded me of the Vancouver Canucks in the 1994 playoff run, losing to NY Rangers in game 7. In that game, the Canucks could not buy a break, and I am sure that Hasselback and the 'Hawks felt the same yesterday. Not that their kicker did them much good... *SIGH* it was a frustrating game, a moment of elation quickly followed by an interception or a bad ref'ing call.

I have recently learned that I have a "converger" learning style, and apparently there are other people out there like me who like to make lists, be somewhat organized and practical, but then like to through it all away to ponder the big concepts. Interesting stuff.

Feels like I am doing a helluva dance some days - completing an online course, wedding plans, thinking baby and changes, work issues, talking to friends and making plans, sqeauking in some quality time with my honey, and trying to cram in some selfish stuff in there. Sounds like the lists are going to be a lifesaver, and that this will give me good practise for later. I am also learning that I need to be pretty clear about what I want, and how I want things to happen on the big day. It isn't enough to have the big details sorted out, you have to know the minor stuff too, floor plans, and general organization, and how the hell you are going to pay for it all!!!!

Thursday, February 2, 2006

A banner week!

This is really cool, not only has one of my dear friends decided to hook in to extended blog familythis week, but another one of my favourite people has decided to join our fold too!!


A very heart welcome to Sarah's exploits out in the Back 40 wilds of our beautiful province of BC! Welcome to the blogging familia.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

What next?

Been a wacked out week.

One of us, I am sure it was the cat, stepped on our cell and broke the crystal screen display. Time to replace the phone and weasel out of old contract just in time to sign up for a new one!! Positive part was the great "sales consultant" I had that helped broker a sweet deal.

Then yesterday, trying to eat healthy and munching on my trail mix, I broke a tooth, and well, swallowed it. I think this is the most queasy I have felt since I got preggers!!! You just know something is wrong as your tongue moves over that tooth, and you think to yourself "That isn't a peanut stuck there.. no wait... " and you check it out, and voila! More than half your tooth has been sheered off just above the gum line. Crown number four here I come!! Silver lining here is that we do have dental coverage, and that I am in the second tri, so dental work is safe and they will be able to freeze as needs be. *SIGH*

Needless to say, baby will learn excellent tooth care, and how to swim and skate at a young age.

I am glad that this is a short week. I grabbed a few vacation hours so I didn't have to go back to work after the dentist. That was enough for me today!! Ok, so I just wanted the break, truth be told.

Life on the range..

This is a great commercial.. I think that it aired last year for Superbowl!!

Check out the Cat Herders!