Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My baby is one.

One. 1. The big digit. More than 12 months. A whole damn year since I gave birth! URP!

Where the hell did it really go?? Sure, I have been raising a baby and avoiding work, being a wife, being a friend, and a daughter with an attitude (hard raising parents, especially our own mothers), and all those other hats you get to wear in your time six feet up, but really, I know I am in my 30s, and we have a baby, but holy shit has this year gone fast. Brandon turned 1 yesterday, and I go back to work in 7 days. Maybe a month from now I will be a little more excited about returning to the world of adults, but I am not there yet.

I gave Brandon his first cut. Nej will be happy because there is no longer a need for a haircut intervention. The long wispy (and oh so adorable) curls are gone and he definitely looks like a boy. Enough people asked me about my little girl that it was more than time to bring out the scissors. It was a momentous event for us, and yes, I will keep his hair in a bag. I am sentimental!

Brandon's birthday was great. Had a quiet morning, and then we went to Deer Lake and I took Brandon on the old fashioned carousel that they have. The first time around he went on one of the smaller horses that doesn't move, and the second time around we picked a big one. It is pretty fast, and the first time that the horse went up his eyes were wide as saucers! It was great, we wrapped things up with a bit of a walk around the lake, and then headed towards home. We had all the gran'folks over, and my brother, and we had a great seafood dinner. Brandon went to town on his cake - he had icing everywhere. I was proud - he was covered in the white and blue sugar - ears, hair, in between all his fingers, and he was mashing cake in to his mouth with a big smile on his face. After I upload my pics, I will add a few for posterity's sake.

This weekend we will have friends and family over for a BBQ and hopefully the weather holds since our place really isn't that big. RSVPing seems to be a bit of an issue but we will just roll with it and whomever is able to show is great! We will have a good time :D I am in "gettin'er done" mode, I have a list and I am knocking a few things off of it. Those projects that you try to put off forever, well, i figure I should get a few done before I actually go back to work and have less free time. I am also waiting with baited breath for my copy of HP to show up. Apparently it isn't always wise to preorder and not pay for the quicker shipping. *AHEM* I do have some less than stellar moments...ah well. It is sunny and here I am inside. And unlike all those times I sign off wishing for a nap (they never happen), I am going to head out in the sun and sand down my adirondack chairs so I can refinish them (yes, that is one of those projects).

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Where it's at.

Last week, after I got back from visiting Nej, I figured I would be all motivated to chronicle some of the more stellar moments of the trip here on my blog for posterity.

I haven't had the time. Or the energy when things are quiet to actually sit down and type things out. So the past is already moving way too quickly even further in to the past. Suffice to say it was a good trip, driving the canyon is much better in a newer blazer rather than an older rabbit, and Brandon continues to be a pretty decent little traveler.

I finally got caught up on the last few Crossing Jordan episodes in a blitz over the weekend. Unlike a few other shows when it came to their series finales, this one didn't get all schmaltzy and leave a bad taste in your mouth. Things weren't perfectly gift wrapped, but it was a nice way to end off. Although it pisses me off that I find shows I like and then it seems like they get canceled. This was one of the better ones and I can always catch it in reruns. This ending is in direct contrast to that other show and it's black screen of death that left you on the edge of your seat feeling slightly bereft and not really liking the show in that moment.

Brandon was teething most of the weekend, and then last night - well it was a long night. He went to bed great about 8:30, and then was up about 12:45. He was done with sleeping at that point - tried most of my bag of tricks, rocking, talking, singing, humming, jiggling, feeding, getting over tired and frustrated and handing off to Ken, to putting in the play pen, to letting him cry and get all hot and sweaty, to cuddling, and more of the same. Finally he went back to bed just after 4. I was definitely feeling really fried and emotionally strung out by then.

Which brings me to now. It is just nice to be for a moment. My poor cat keeps trying to lay on my hands and suckhole for attention and I am not all that keen for it right now. Exhausted most of that in the last 12 hours... the rains have come, which is nice, and I am planning out Brandon's first birthday. It is a weird time right now - being aware of how fast the time is going, knowing I am going back to work, the wonder about daycare (even if I like my daycare person), wrapping up a few things. Getting a few visits in - this weekend I am going to see my gran on the island.. I figure if it isn't now, it won't be for a few more months again... Feels like lots of changes (again). I also feel like I am resisting a bit (prolly natural) and clinging to whatever I can. It feels like I haven't had enough sleep and I am not running on full cylinders right now!!! I am worried about Brandon and sleep and transitioning him the crib, and weaning, and on the other hand, all that stuff will eventually sort itself out too.

I think I will attempt to tidy up a little and perhaps have a nap. Not really feeling like a shooting star right about now.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Southern Cariboo Trails

There were a few times that Nej and I looked back in either vehicle, and thought, wow, who would have thunk that over 20 years ago we would be piled up in an SUV or a minivan with our 3 kids in the back - how cool is that???? Our collective first stop today was to visit a section of the original Cariboo Waggon Trail just outside of 99 Mile. It is quite the feat to consider this trail - that it stretched up to Barkerville, the 2nd largest city in the west after San Fran in 1868 and the Cariboo Gold Rush... humbling in a sense, considering what the lure of gold and a hardy disposition (or just plain foolhardy and ignorance of what lies ahead) when you consider the worn waggon tracks, that camels also made this trek up north, the distances involved, and the sheer extremes in geography and weather...

From here we stopped at Mount Begbie, at 90 something mile and since Brandon was asleep in teh car, each of us took a turn with either of her kids to take a gander up a goat trail to the top.

Unfortunately, me and her youngests' experience was drastically different from ours. We made it to the top and took in absolutely breath taking 360 degree views...

Perhaps the term "goat trail" is stretching things a little... looks somewhat extreme in retrospect

Monday, July 9, 2007

new sheets and nipplegate continues

I was finally able to take advantage of one of those smoking sales that one of the big box stores does with good sheets, the buy one at regular price, get the 2nd 1/5 price, plus a 20% off coupon. Nothing like getting 2 pairs of 400 thread, king sized sheets for $60 bucks each. The advantage of heading north now meant that I called on Nej to see if she wanted to go halvers on this deal so we could both come out ahead... and ahead we did! I love new sheets. It is one of my quirks. I like 100% cotton sheets, not blends, and well, some colours I like better than others. Mine are a beautiful light blue, and I can't wait to try them out!!!!

Aside from that, today is a day of cleaning up, finally getting 2 weeks worth of laundry put away, and went and picked up a few items to tide my DH over while we are away. I also bought different teats for Brandon's bottles. *SIGH* I complained to gerber about the fit of the "fast flow" nipples I bought a month or two ago, and to be honest, their customer service rep was awesome and did send out some coupons because their baby teats didn't do the job they were supposed to - they leak and don't fit my avent lids right which is just a piss off when you are dressed up and then you end up with formula all over yourself. After a few accidents in transport, and then during feeding, I bit the bullet and bought a few new sets today. And they aren't cheap!!! Ah well, I would rather pay the few bucks to get the new nipples rather than having all of my baby carriers stained, and milk/formula/juice/water pouring out from a lid that doesn't seal with the new nipples half the time. Just frustrating when a product doesn't do what it is supposed to do and then you have to advocate on your behalf.

That is one thing that motherhood has really brought home for me - becoming more assertive in a positive way. Like the nipples not working, or buying a can of formula for an arm and a leg only to find the can half full (and no, I told that customer service rep, the formula just hadn't settled to the bottom, it wasn't filled up properly!).

So that's that. I need to pack, and tidy up after myself (the house gets so much messier quicker since I have been home) and water my indoor plants and all those lovely little things that wait to get done. Looks like a great day to BBQ some burgers and hang in the yard.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Prognosis: hot weather

It looks like summer is officially arriving. I have been battling a beast they once called a laurel bush during most of Brandon's snoozes this week, so I decided that during today's nap, it was all about me, or at least for an hour when I grabbed my book and worked on my tan. Yes, I know it is evil to tan and all the dangers of burns, but I figure in moderation, and out there with a book, isn't a bad thing and could prevent future burns this summer if I have a decent base of colour. Plus, the added bonus of my skin clearing up too and not being nearly so red cheeked.

Brandon pulled a side table down this morning and has a good sized goose egg on his forehead. Scared the crap out of me, and of course, he was a terrible patient and didn't want ice or a cold washcloth held to his forehead. He seems to have survived, even if my parenting isn't always perfect. LOL...

The brakes are being done this afternoon (thank god for a man who isn't afraid of elbow grease beneath a car) and with the new tires, my truck is good to go. Go where, you may ask? Tuesday I head north to visit Nej and the boys - should be a grand adventure and I feel like a big kid, totally excited about just hanging, and talking about everything and nothing, and exploring her neck of the woods. It will also be Brandon and I's first solo trip, we finally broke and I got my own cell, so I can be reached, but it will be strange heading out without my wingman.

It has been an exciting week in other ways too, one dear friend got married last weekend, and other friends greeted their first child in to the world. This new version of me loved holding a newborn, and really, I can't believe that Brandon was ever so small, and once again, where the hell did the last year go?

Hmm, what else in this post about randomosity? I finally bite the bullet and told my coed hockey team I don't see myself playing full time in the fall. If a half time spot is possible, that is great, or to spare, but it isn't going to happen full time. I felt half bummed after I sent that email, it was a big decision for me, but now I almost feel free because of it. What happens with the team next is out of my hands (for me), and well, if a half time spot doesn't work there are other teams that I could spare for. Time will tell, and I am not feeling as clingy to that past as I have been, in the past. Underlying the theme of all of my going through my old stuff and purging is letting go. I am still bad about releasing some things/people, but a far cry from where I was. Funny though that when you are feeling low, everything else that could bug you starts to creep in and invade your consciousness. Then I did some fretting about Brandon - just hoping that his development is on track (it seems to be, but being a somewhat typical parent, I worry at times, I think it is natural) and that I am doing enough to challenge him, and keep him entertained. Ah yes, the other bridge to cross, I am slowly putting him in the crib more and more. Every night he spends some time in there but I don't think we have this transition down pat yet. It is challenging, and in some ways making my life easier for breastfeeding in bed, makes this part a little harder too. Hard too to know how long to let him cry it out, when to respond, but I guess between the three of us, we are figuring it out. As he nears a year old, he is getting to be so much cooler - his personality is shining through (he is such a happy, good natured tyke) and I just really value our time together and want to hold on to these summer days before I go back to work for a long time. I think for us it will work with the hours I will be working - to work the 2 nights, and be home the days during the week will make a huge difference because we can still get out and do stuff, and aren't just limited to weekends. I am sure it is a bit redundant as I keep returning to the same theme (going back to work) but it helps me work through my responses and make it seem more real. Becoming a mom and being home, and learning how to relax and change my pace has been such a lifestyle break (in a positive way) it will be another learning curve soon, and well, I will have to listen to all of my own advice about time management....

Friday, July 6, 2007

An assist!!!!

Man, was I dragging my ass today. Must have been the junk in my trunk, or just not getting nearly enough quality sleep last night, but I was not firing on all cylinders for most of the day. The advantage of not being completely addicted to coffee now means that when I actually break down and make myself a latte, the kick is pretty good to the old system.... I got to play hockey tonight!!! I even got an assist!!! I am such a giddy kid when I get to play now, I guess there has been a long enough break since I was playing on a regular basis, and the team I have been sparing for is pretty classy, as far as hockey teams go. To improve on that assist, we won, and Ken made some great saves, and at the end of the game, I got to look up and see my son's smiling face, pressed up against the glass. Amazing how a little exercise improves your overall outlook on life. Of course, that detail is so hard to remember when you are first starting out a new fitness regime...

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

4 weeks

4 weeks is all I have left of my mat leave.


I can't believe just how fast this year has gone. It has been full of surprising moments, and moments that take your breath away, and I can't believe that things will be on the 'change' again in less than a month. I am sure that the first month will be bizarre and with an off kilter routine because Brandon will be in daycare part time for the first 2 weeks, then have me home for a week, than Ken home for a week, and then in September the part time daycare, full time back to work schedule will start in earnest. I know I keep whining about this, and every new mom goes through this, and the anxiety of having to leave your child with your childcare worker, it is just hard and until you see the new lay of the land, and get back in to all of your new routines, it is an unknown. Therefore, something you will just deal with and work through, because the reality is that we need both of us working to support our lifestyle.

On to other rambles, I will start here and now, and then back fill a few entries since it has been about 2 weeks since I last posted. I love that pre-dating option on blogger to fill in a few gaps if you get the chance. We have had a great few weeks, and added a few scorch streaks to the ol'credit cards.

All in all, life is good and the days are going fast, but we are doing a lot of things that I really value. We are getting out for some visiting, and some walks, and the house is in decent shape. Next week I am doing a road trip north to visit Nej and the boys, and the truck will be in good condition for it. Funny as some things get fixed, other things go, like the CD player has gone on the fritz. This summer is exciting - we are getting away on some trips and seeing some new sights, which makes me a happy camper :D

Monday, July 2, 2007

a weekend blur

We just got back from heading stateside on a very last minute trip to Bellingham. It wasn't really planned, and just kind of happened. It was freaking fantastic!!!

Our hotel was central, included a continental breakfast (which really does end saving you time and money), and had an indoor pool and hot tub. Both nights we were there Brandon and I went in the pool and bobbed around. It has been a while since I have had him at the pool, so each time for the first few minutes he clung to me for dear life, until he relaxed and remembered that he does like being in the pool.

We hit the outlet stores (got some amazing deals, I am really stoked. I got some new bras, a summer dress , some shoes, a new purse.. I went all girlie!!! How can they have prices like they do??? We got 5 onesies for $5.99!!!!!!! You just don't find deals like that here) and had some great meals, got in a few naps, I traded a few used books in, and got a trunk full of other titles. I am almost good for books for the next few months! The other best part was getting out for some time in the local parks.

We went to Whatcom Falls Park and went exploring through some of the trails, through the fish hatchery, and off to see the falls. As far as urban parks go, this one is a gem! Total fluke too, we found it as an entry on the GPS! Ok ok, so I am not always the gadget girl, but I am really starting to warm up to having a GPS for road trips. You find stuff that you wouldn't find otherwise.

We also spent some time at Larrabee State Park, which is another gem of a park. In the future, I have earmarked this one as another good place to camp! The beach access isn't great, but there is enough room to snap up some beach, lay down your blanket, and have some privacy for a picnic. Of course, there is always the added bonus of watching some yahoos try to back their trucks in to the water to launch or pick up their boats. This took place in a bay one over, and one unlucky fellow turned a boat launch in to an excuse to become a public spectacle and probably turned this in to a very expensive weekend for himself by driving their vehicle way too far in to the water, with the tide coming in, and wedging their boat on the trailer. Made for some interesting watching!

It was a great getaway. It felt like we really had a bit of a holiday, especially because it wasn't planned, it was quite spontaneous, the shopping was great, got to go for some hikes, and once again, Brandon is proving to be a really good traveler.