Sunday, April 30, 2006

Recurrent themes

Some people talk about the infamous "baby brain" when you are pregnant, but it seems that for me what pregnancy has brought me is the ability to let go of things with great clarity. This is the umpteenth post in which I declare that I have continued the process and am getting rid of more stuff. Really, we are not that cluttered, but I have a lot of stuff that I have held on to for years.. the clothes from the 80s and being a teenager, and then papers (and books) that have accumulated.. especially since I got a filing cabinet 5 years ago. It was such a great idea at the time, I quickly filled up 2 drawers, and then aside from updating about 10-15 files a year, promptly forgot about the rest.

Well, a bag of shredding, and three recycling bags later, I think we are almost at the end of the "holding on to useless shreds of paper" part of the day. Granted, I am sure all I need to do is turn my back and they will start to accumulate again, at least I have a handle on this stuff now and after this weekend, maybe now we can think of converting the hockey gear storage/computer room in to something that more resembles 1/3 adult space, 2/3s baby space.

Weekend of running errands, laying low, and just being together. It has been really nice. Was bagged from the week, and just needed time to chill in my own place. Got a smoking deal on a king sized duvet, with $75 in coupon savings, which I am pretty stoked about. Picked up some bedding plants today, time to bring more colour to the backyard. Once again, I think weekend hours travel at twice the speed of work hours. It is a conspiracy I am sure.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Wedding Pictures!

If you want to check our wedding pictures, check us out! Our photographyers were amazing, as you can tell from the pictures. Yes, there are many, many pictures in the galleries, so either take your time and thumb through them all or just visit a few here and there.

I can't believe it has been over a month since we got hitched, time doesn't stand still for anyone. I am glad we didn't do a wedding video, it is so much better having the snapshots to look at, and have your own memories and reflections instead of a moving picture that captures just one dimension of it all and can easily dominate. I remember the laughter, and not being nervous, and just being so happy I could burst.

I look that bad?! Huh?

It isn't even 10 am and it is shaping up to a bit of a bizarre day.

Although I did have a good laugh at the Dilbert Weasel List :] Talk about a unique way to measure popularity, or not.

So, with my "tired" comments of late, apparently some people really take it to heart. I think this falls under the same category as when you are going to get your hair cut, it seems like this is the day that everyone tells you that you hair looks fabulous. Where were these people yesterday??? Well, I just found out that a coworker was concerned about me because I look quite run down and tired, and they hope that I am not pushing myself too hard. This feels like the opposite of the hair dilemma - I felt pretty damn good last week when we were at the conference! I had some funky new skirts to wear, my hair went well, I wasn't rushed, I had a great view from my hotel room, I missed sleeping next to my man, but I really didn't think that I looked like a Mac Truck had hit me??!!!

Whatever. This is the same person that doubted I could pull of a fabulous wedding and be pregnant all at the same time (not to mention the program I finished or other responsibilities). I think we are our own worst enemies, especially when it comes down to self-fulfilling prophecies. I see having kids as another step in life, something that will enrich and challenge I am sure, but will be nothing but rewarding when the chips are down. I don't see it as the end of our lives as we know it, but a departure in to new adventures and seeing life through different eyes again. I don't see roadblocks, I just see curves. For me, this is all about perspective. My cup remains more than half full.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Today marks our successful first month of marriage. I can't say that anything is drastically different, except that we have some great memories and some amazing gifts and pictures.

Today also marks the beginning of the third trimester and being 28 weeks pregnant. I am definitely starting to feel more preggers, and am starting to show. I feel pretty good overall, but I do get tired a lot quicker than I used to which is something to get used too. I think my biggest battle is with body image, getting used to a different me, and a me in which people are looking and touching on occaison your belly for a whole new set of reasons. I feel like spring - blooming in to something different and new too.

I'm reading more, mindless thrillers and suspenseful crime novels. A few more academic ones thrown in for good measure. I keep being told to do as much reading as I can now, since apparently it won't be happening much in the next year. Everyone has some kind of advice to give, some makes sense, some floats through one ear and straight out the next. Still just going through stuff, now it is my desk at work and clearing out all the old papers that have accumulated over time. Amazing that when you get some stuff it is so important to hold on to and then you look at it three years later and the biggest decision is between recycling it or shredding it.

Monday, April 24, 2006

A very quick rant

Dealing with people can be the highlight of your day or a reason why you have cats and dogs, or a reason to drink, but that was a few months ago - not now during my "dry period" (although there is something to be said about the extra dry apple soft cider out there).

I despise it when you clearly articulate a piece of information to someone, and then they repeat a question to you, or ask another question which clearly indicates they didn't listen to you in the first place. Then you parrot the information back, to which the person responds by asking the same question in a slightly different way. Could be because the person doesn't like the answer you gave them

Why spend the effort in asking if you aren't willing to listen? Or even glossing over responses on paper/email and then asking a question that was already covered? Bizarre stuff. So, can you tell I was just presented with a very grating example of this that prompted this quiet response... makes me want to hand the person a stupid sign or something.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Back from the Island..

A short but sweet trip, and always nice to come back home again to the comforts that you always miss when you are away.

Wednesday night my mom and I had a fabulous dinner at the local irish pub - I had the halibut n'chips and it was like candy. Granted, I can't eat like I used to so I was stuffed to the gills and very happy to get back to our hotel and put on my pj's for the night. Our room was amazing - it was right on the point in Victoria where if you looked to the right you had a view of the Inner Harbour and the Parliament Buildings and if you looked left you could see the outer harbour and all the comings and goings. The one thing I forgot about this hotel is how noisy it can be - there are float planes arriving/departing every 5 minutes!!!

Conference was a typical conference, some good presenters and some really dull presenters. I think I made figeting a fine art, and pretty much excused myself on the hour for the loo. Thursday night we had dinner with Sarah and Wy and it was phenomenal. We did take out from the Noodle Box in Chinatown and although I was a little dubious to start, who can resist takeout in the little boxes with chopsticks? My green curry was amazing, and we all chilled, swapped baby stories, and just enjoyed each other's company. Time always goes too fast, but hey, that means you really look forward to next time, right? I can't believe how much Wy has grown, he is 5 months, a strapping young lad and laughing and gurgling and really strong. A real eye opener of what I might be able to expect about Christmastime...

We had a half day friday, and then it was off to trade in some books so I could come home with some new ones to read. I figured that I was really going to town by bringing in two bulging bags worth, but was disuaded of this fact when I was told the guy before me brought in 6 boxes!! The best place I have found to take back books, get your store credit, and then go and explore their huge selection of used and new books. I highly recommend these folks to all book lovers!!!

Another meal at the Irish Pub (where I was once again DRY. Ah, the temptation of strongbows and guinness, but I resisted. Where is this strength coming from? Ah yes, it is an easy no-brainer as far as I am concerned!) and a drive through Beacon Hill park. The flowers are all starting to bloom and then parking along Dallas Road to watched the 'surfers and dog walkers, and the Olympic Mountains across the way, and the sparkling blue waters clutching my single coffee for the day.

Then home!! Then time for the Crush game... It was Regan's last game :< style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">Original Crush Forming Members (even I came along in the third year of Crush Existence) left. It was a quiet night, and the team finished the game off with more a sputter rather than a roar. It will be strange not having Kev and Regan around - times like this you realize how much you value friendships in your life, and your routines, and when you connect with certain people. Once again, I thank the gods for the net!!! They depart to the far east, and it is a helluva opportunity for them both, but they will be missed!!!

Phew. I think I am almost caught up with everything?!! I am sure I will think of a few other things as the day wears on...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Holy Bunnies Batman!!!!

Herman, the biggest bunny of all.

I wish this bunny laid those cadbury eggs in my backyard!!!!

The sound of music

I am finally getting a chance to finish a project that has been haunting me for the last week at work. My door is closed, and launchcast is cranked. I forget just how motivating having some kick ass music in the background can be! Just listened to Song 2 and now there is a little Muddy Waters groovin in the background. I love that you can rate music and end up with a station that caters to your music tastes!

Well, it happened. I was so bagged at the end of the day yesterday I parked my ass on the couch and had a nap. I woke up two hours later, thinking it might be time to make some dinner, and laughing at my cat, who looked quite perturbed that I decided that now would be a good time to wake up, seeing as they were quite comfy on my left hip. Then I was asleep at a decent time. What is the world coming to??

So much for the days of staying up until 2 or 3 am and sleeping until 10!! My whole circadian rhythm had to change once I got a real job and starting to work monday to friday.. really, that was tough. Going to school and working shift work, I don't think I ever got up at normal times, or went to bed at anything close to a decent time... that is where I feel my age - being responsible and awake for work every day... LOL I am still a night person when the opportunity presents itself...

Monday, April 17, 2006

Damn Funny

Check out this truck that we passed on the way to Ocean Shores on our honeymoon....


I thinking that organizing and reorganizing will be a recurrent theme this year.

Each time I attack our seemingly endless supply of "things" it gets easier to let go of some stuff. I can't believe some of the clothes and books and nicknacks that I have held on to. And then the items that I relegate to our back shed, to sit there, half forgotten about until I move more stuff to the shed only to realize that it is getting full of all the stuff I said that we maybe didn't need anymore about three months ago, last time I seemed to get this urge to purge.

I don't know if it is really about letting go or just being more afraid of clutter and feeling like my own walls are closing in because I can't bear to part with things (which obviously I am getting over with leaps and bounds). I have 2 bags of clothes going out, and a few bags of books that I am going to trade in at unsuspecting bookstore on the island that will take trades for equal dollar value in more books (just what I need eh?).

It helps when you don't have a lot of space - you tend to start getting rid of the things you don't need anymore, or things you have put in the back of the closet because you have moved on. In a larger space, it is ok to accumulate because you don't have to deal with it. I like not having so many inconsequential things around - makes it easier to clean :]

I am glad that we have today as a stat holiday - I am bagged. My energy has gone down the tubes today. I am glad that I didn't have a huge list of to do things, otherwise I think it may have gone out with the trash. I know that tomorrow looms as one of our busiest days at work (fee payment deadline) and then I get to go to Victoria for a few days, for our yearly AGM. I love getting over to the island - being on island time, doing the meandering coastal drive... walking through Beacon Hill Park which is one of my favourite parks in the whole wide world. I love how rugged it is, especially when the spring flowers crop up in the most unsuspecting spots. I love walking with through the trees, towards the ocean, stealing a few moments, enjoying the squirrels and birds, and taking it all in. Stanley Park in Vancouver is nice, but there is something else about Beacon Hill Park that I find endlessly appealing. Probably equally as popular, but I think the wildness of Beacon appeals to me just a little more. I like visiting the girlfriends I have there, friends I have been fortunate enough to meet through work and have developed friendships that have nothing to do with what we do rather the recognition of kindred spirits. I will miss my sweetie, but will only be gone between Wednesday - Friday which is a short/long period of time when I am going between meetings and he works all day... then again, the best part of going away is coming back. Doesn't matter for how long, there is nothing like coming home.

Wow, talk about waxing poetic and starting on one thing and ending on a completely different topic.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Hoppy Easter!

Amazing what a little bit of a lie in bed, the sunday paper, and then having a fabulous breakfast made for you can do to/for your overall constitution!!

That and finding something from the Easter Bunny!! (will forever be a kid)

Took a long while to work out that funk on thursday - it didn't get better until dinner time, and it was a 2 hour (should have been no more than 45 mins) journey home on the local transit system, and then a slight mix up in where I was going to be picked up and then a few other delays until I was so grateful just to be home it was all I could do not to cry. But, that is already 4 days in the past!

Hockey, hockey, hockey. Ken's playoffs started on Thursday and his team kicked some ass. Then it was time to be a superfan for a Co-Ed tourney that the Crush were playing in. I miss playing like crazy, but it is still great to be a part of it all. Our Friday Night Hockey games are a part of the fabric of our lives :] Team played well but against teams that were stacked to play in the tournament, and we experienced some bad refereeing. One team was stacked with all under 20 year olds who play rep and/or junior hockey and/or upper level ringette. Yup, you guys look like superstars playing against people twice your age that just want to have fun. Fun we did have, nothing like making daquiri's in the dressing room. The Righteous Regan brought their blender and made me an awesome Powerade Slurpee! Now that is tourney hockey!!!

Our record wasn't nearly as good as the company, and then we went to friends in Deep Cove to eat, drink, and be merry. Their view is amazing and there are times that living here on the West Coast that the natural beauty takes my breath away. Drive home was interesting - went through one of the worst hailstorms we have ever been through - highway was white immediately, and the cacophony of sound was deafening. I stuck my hand out the window and those little hailstones hurt. Five minutes later, it was all in the past, and we were back in 2 wheel drive and making the turn to home?!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Halfway through the day

I think I have had to deal with all of my high maintenance students that refuse to deal with anyone else in my office this week. Normally they seem to have an unwritten code and they don't all come in at the same time, but this week they have conspired against me. Then again, I was off for a few weeks and I guess the word is getting out that I am back. At times I almost take perverse pleasure in not making a comment about being preggers, and only having 2 more months of work... (evil laugh inserted here)

Seriously though - I think that with our advising schedule posted... people wait to see me. So on my advising days I get slammed. I see more people in one of my 3.5 hour slots than the rest normally see in a week!!!!

I have my fingers crossed that this afternoon everyone else is writing exams and I can fly low under the radar and get some stuff done and not have so many people trickling through my door.

I would also like to know why sandwiches always taste better when someone else makes them. It seems to be the way with my lattes too - when Ken makes it for me, it just tastes better.


I believe this is post 200.. either that or 201. If I am a little off - whatever. We did our 10 year high school reunion as an 11 year reunion so apparently there is proof out there that I am a little off.

I think short weeks are really longer than the normal length weeks. For a three day work week, this has been a shit week. I am counting the time when I get the chance to leave for the week, I have been smoking busy all week, like a dog chasing it's tail and never quite catching up (although from a general consensus of friends, we have all been abnormally busy this week), and it seems like all my high maintenance students have been coming out of the woodwork and making their appearance this week.

To add to it all, the student that just left the office wore some kind of truly awful perfume. It stinks in here. There is a cloud of cloying, artificial perfume smell that is hanging in the air worse than dog farts (at least that is a natural smell). Time to open the window - heating is all wonked, it feels like I should be somewhere farther south it is so warm in here that I can feel my face flushing - not that I need any help with that at this stage of the game either...

And I have students that need to come back to see me because I have been so busy all week I haven't been able to get to some of the stuff that I should be able to do. Yup, I do need some good cheese to go with my wine today. I am surrounded by little stacks of papers, all the to do stuff that I have had too many interruptions to even wrap my mind around about.. (short staffed). Which of course, does it help that I am doing this right now instead of that?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


This has been a strange week so far. Got run off my feet at work yesterday, and today is all about cleaning up the work I created yesterday, and eventually moving on to the other stuff I should be directing my attention towards. I am not sure if it is a good thing to have started my countdown of remaining days at work. It almost makes it harder to come in to work. I only have about 45 days left. And I already feel like this!!!!! How the hell am I going to feel when I have to come back???? They kind of got you too, when they pay benefits, and top up your wage for when you are on mat leave.. hard to set the money aside and maybe jump ship part way through when you need all the dollars to go to expenses.. *SIGH*

I feel scattered though. Little jobs that need to be done, things that I feel like I am forgetting to do, and then the final payments for the wedding, and then getting on to the thank you cards.

I think I have hit that point of no return too. When your pants (shirts are still ok) just don't fit like they used too, are getting snug around the waist, and you know it is really time to start looking at those maternity pants differently. I don't want to be stuck in pants the whole time, so I have picked up some great long skirts (which are in this year, who knew?) which will help through the warmer months. It is just a bit of a mind screw when you have always been conscious of your weight/size and now I am at a stage in my life where it doesn't matter any more, and I am getting bigger!! Big and beautiful I say!! But it is still mental gymnastics to reprogram the old brain when the pants don't fit and to say to yourself, it is now, it is for an amazing reason, you are healthy, you will have a beautiful baby, and it isn't forever....


Monday, April 10, 2006

Babies will come when they want too...

I have a flex day from work today, and it feels strange it being on a monday. I feel like I am getting away with something...

Had my usual maternity appt this morning - everything is progressing well. It is just so amazing to hear the heartbeat, and see how things are coming along. Due date got moved up until the middle of July (18th), and my overall weight gain has been very modest. I am glad the weight hasn't been coming on fast and furious, I was half afraid of that because I was not a little woman to begin with, so this bodes well for the after birth body experiences! In the next few weeks, between more dental appts, I will do the gestational diabetes test, and then next mat appt I get to have the rogam shot for the RH factor. Amazing all these things that you learn as you go through your pregnancy.

Yesterday was a totally lazy Sunday and it was wonderful. I had no get up and go (it went) and I guess glad that neither did Ken. We just did our thing, watched bad Sunday afternoon TV, and I finished up a Ken Follet book (only average.. not the fun and speedy read that D. Brown's Deception Point was) and vamoosh! There goes Sunday.

Ken and my dad moved 1000 pounds of logs from our backyard on Saturday (great dry land training for hockey playoffs) and then brought back 2000 pounds of landscaping bricks. Folks we got the house from decided to frame the backyard patio with these logs, which are ideal breeding grounds for flying ants and woodbugs. Especially when said logs are slowly rotting and disintegrating all the way around your yard. So nice to have them gone!!! The new bricks look amazing - I can't wait until this job is done!! (also amazing how time consuming said projects can be). Unreal that once the house is yours that you can have opinions about these kind of matters - like fridges, and landscaping, and flooring, and wall colours...

Although it seems we are accumulating projects right now that should be done before the baby is born. That lists seems to hit a balance point, some stuff is getting done, while more stuff is being added. Am glad I didn't start the sorting process now, that I have a head start on just getting rid of some of the things that I accumulate...

Saturday, April 8, 2006

Dirt under my nails...

I love spring. There are birds that start to chirp before the sun comes up, and it is a much better sound to wake up to rather than a screeching alarm clock.

I can't believe it has been two weeks since I got married. Nope, nothing feels different, except for the fact that we are going to have a baby and are well over halfway there!!! Amazing how goal orientated we are, no matter how big of an event one thing is in your life, as soon as it is done, you can reflect on it but you are already moving forward to the next thing again. So far, we have only seen a few of the wedding shots, so nothing really to post yet. Our honeymoon pics were good, something else I will get around to posting.

Haven't had a lot of time to just sit and reflect on the wedding, and the whole day yet. It feels like a series of snapshots in my head, moments that seem to stick out more than other moments... like not having the jitters, like worrying about if there was enough of everything, how the decorating would come together since I did have everything ready and my superstar friend C took over the rest! They did such an amazing job - it was a beautiful environment to get married in. Looking back, I am glad everything happened in one place. A church wedding was not in my cards. That would have been wrong. Especially given my somewhat eclectic and scattered beliefs. I am so grateful for the hour we took doing our pictures, and goofing off, and being a diva for the camera, and just laughing and enjoying the dress, and feeling beautiful, and looking at my man all dressed up. It was surreal at the wedding when people would clink glasses, and it was for us!

I feel like there are so many people that I should have been talking to in the last few weeks, thanking, and just touching base with. I have been so bagged, overwhelmed, and just plain old fashioned busy and/or talked out, sometimes there just haven't been the words to dredge up.

The Crush game was decent last night, I "coached" from the behind the bench (read opening and closing the doors for everyone). I love my team. I really miss playing hockey and being a part of it all. Even the smell of the ice, and the feeling as you first step foot on the ice to go for your warm up skate and know you are a warrior in all your get up, and you are hitting the ice for your next battle. It feels weird to watch everyone else play, and have fun, and get frustrated, and go for the highlight reel goals! It helped to stick with the girls before and after the game, rather than just hanging upstairs, feeling like an interloper that was just an armchair quarterback. This is the hardest part about being pregnant - how your rules change (for the time being). How you have to adjust to this new life inside of you, and take care of both of you since you are not alone anymore. This is not a negative thing, just the way it is. This is part of the reason that pregnancy is 40 weeks long, the changes are gradual but happening all the time, getting you ready for the big day. The changes are frankly phenomenal but I was just out in the garden, and I was really aware of how far and hard I would push myself today... how much time I would give to being hot and sweaty and panting and moving dirt and ridding the backyard of nasty weeds. As I am here, and not out there tells you that my morning of backyard labour is done. But is sure as hell felt good. I can't believe I have osteo-daisies that have come back from last year!! And they are blooming already.. see, give nature a chance and she does the most amazing things for you.

Wednesday, April 5, 2006


Normally I have a lot more energy than the average person. I am not really just saying that, it kind of has always been that way. I push time, trying to squeak out as much as I can in on any given day. I have gotten a bit better about this - trying to not take life at such a crazy pace, to not schedule so many things to happen on one day, to not compress time or seeing people in to unreasonable time slots, and to making an honest effort to showing up "on time". When I hook up with friends and people I care about, I really want to be there "in the moment" not looking forward to the next set of plans, freeing myself to enjoy the present moment as much as I can. Now. Not later. I remember being so tired at times when I was younger, when I was trying to do too many things, almost afraid I wouldn't get everything done or tried before my time was up for the day...

So, to end that part of the ramble somewhat quickly, I can't get over how tired I have been in the last few days. Last night, I flaked out on the couch. Apparently I was *gasp* even snoring. After a few nudges to hit the sack, I finally made my way to my nightly ablutions and then to bed. That little adrenaline burst didn't last long.

Decent night's sleep, figured I was good to go today. By about 3pm today, got that gritty eye feeling and I am sure that if I would have allowed myself to get too comfy on the couch, or have sat down for long enough, I would have been out cold again. So here I am, getting a few words in and plotting to have a shower momentarily and hitting the sack before 10 pm (again).

This is really new for me. Bed at a decent hour? Willingly? Funny the things that seem to change when you are expecting. Between the leaks and the creaks, I didn't think I would be tired now... isn't second semester the energy time? I should give myself a bit of a break - between the wedding, and the course I took, and trying to keep our place in a reasonable state of affairs, and then back at work, I feel pretty tapped out.

Did you catch that one?? I said semester and not trimester. Guess who has spent too much time in post secondary education??? Now that is funny as hell.

Sunday, April 2, 2006

We get to sleep in our own bed tonight!!

Home. At last.

Although I still have the urge to unplug the phone, and well, not really check my emails or our bank statements either. The last two weeks have gone by at a breakneck speed and going to work is going to be a rude awakening tomorrow... I don't think my head is out of the clouds yet, or my feet back on the ground, or my attention span returning to normal yet. I almost feel silent, and somewhat centred in myself. I know I will do lots of talking at work tomorrow, and reliving the moments, and I guess I just want to hold it in a little longer, process it more, enjoy it more..

Our honeymoon was everything it should be. Ocean Shores, WA is beautiful. Especially in the off season when you don't have to compete with everyone and the prices are not so bad. Lots of driving on the beach, eating, sleeping, having jacuzzi bathtubs, and you know, being newlyweds. It was awesome. I could sit or walk on the beach for hours, just watching, and listening, being together, and taking it all in. We both so needed to get away, to take a breather, to take time for us, to hold hands and be a couple, to be only distracted by each other and decisions like what should we eat tonight...

Most anti-climatic event was our hotel stay last night in Mt. Vernon - the tulips are not even close to being up and ready, and all but one daff field has packed it in. Our hotel was just "average" and that is pushing it. I am going to be writing two letters... one to our hotel in Ocean Shores where the service was fantastic, and then to the one last night - where it was the complete other end of the spectrum. If the worst thing that happened was a not nearly as nice night in a hotel for a night on our 'moon, well, life could be way worse.

Got our rental car back at a decent time so saved a day rental and a day or parking for the beast... successful mission to get new tires and some new duds at the mall before we headed back for the border. We have some nice pics from our trip, haven't seen the ones from the wedding yet. I can't believe it was only a week ago - it feels like a lifetime ago.

Ya hoo!! Get to sleep in our own bed tonight - amazing how once you are on the last day of your holidays, you think about the good sleep you will have once you are back in your own environment. Cats aren't making strange with us anymore, and well, the fish are well fed and none disappeared to the voracious Rambo - king of the cichlids so all is good in our universe tonight.