Well, I have an hour to wait for my detailed ultrasound test and I am already starting to squirm and think about going to the can. I get the feeling I am not going to be able to see a lot of what is going on, so Ken gets to be my eyes today. The other scans we have had are not detailed, and the TV screen is in front of me, not beside me so I have had a great view of junior! BUT, we do get a printout, and pics of junior today since it is the "detailed scan" that they do for pg women about week 20. What a trippy thing.
I am sure I won't think it is so trippy when junior is a little bigger and really starts to move, kick, and jab. Funny though - as soon as someone says that you can't do something (like a basic bodily function) you immediately start to dwell on it. Ah, a lovely part of human nature.
My gran isn't going to come to our wedding. She lives a BC Ferry ride away, and is in her early 90s. One of the rellies would have to pick her up, but she is a bit too worried about her "general health" (and has been for the last 15 years) to come on over, my argument of "if something happens at least you are surrounded by people you love and love you" fell on deaf ears.. She hadn't really told me that she wasn't planning to come, in fact, her enthusiastic phone calls about the two events dropped sharply about a month ago, so I dropped her a line yesterday and then she casually let that one slip. I have mixed feelings on this one.
I would give my eye teeth and then some for all of my grandparents to still be around, and to be able to see how I happy I am, and to be there for my wedding that for my one surviving grandparent to not come, kinda hurts. Heck, Ken didn't even really get a chance to know any of his, and it is a big deal to still have one surviving. But, I also have to respect her decision, and her age, and how she feels and just be happy that I still have a gran and know that I can verbally share the experience and pictures with her at a later date. Just sad that she has missed most of the major events in all of her grandkids lives.. strange choices, but no one else can determine the choices that other people make. All you can do is do the best you can and have a clear conscience at the end of the day...
2 comments:
Grans are funny that way! My great gran who lived in SA had the oppotunity to come over here (for free mind you), chose not too as the flight would be too difficult for her- so she never got to meet her great, great grandkids. I always wanted to go back and see her but never got round to it and she passed away 2 months ago at the ripe age of 96!
Yeah, it isn't easy when you have to deal with other people's choices that really impact you too, and yet you don't have a lot of power in those situations..
I pick up on a bit of a common thread between all of our stories and I think that it could partially be a generational thing - our grans in their 90's think just a wee bit different than us, and not just because they are in their 90's. Product of their generation, going through the war, having to be isolated at times, everything that changed... I have no idea what it is exactly.. just like trying to get my grandparents to talk about the past, it was something that was buried and it was just accepted as when they came to Canada on one side (The Depression era after WWI) or a bit of an unknown on the other side and probably have been here for as many generations as fingers.
Bottom line though - it is hard coming from our vantage points and being aware of time and wanting to see them, and introduce them to our partners, and especially our children and they are reticent for whatever reason and it is hard to truly and fully understand...
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