Monday, May 2, 2011

Really, blue???

Can't say I am thrilled with this election. To say my candidate did not win, is an understatement.


I did experience some character growth today as I participated in a PD day! I got to learn about FIRO - Element B personality testing and it really was quite intriguing. I will have to sit and ruminate about this one for a bit, let the ideas percolate before I go out on a limb and make sweeping comments. (thank you Wikipedia for the following):

Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation (FIRO) is a theory of interpersonal relations, introduced by William Schutz in 1958. This theory mainly explains the interpersonal underworld of a small group. The theory is based on the belief that when people get together in a group, there are three main interpersonal needs they are looking to obtain - affection/openness, control and inclusion. Schutz developed a measuring instrument that contains six scales of nine-item questions that he called FIRO-B. This technique was created to measure or control how group members feel when it comes to inclusion, control, and affection/openness or to be able to get feedback from people in a group.

Human nature is that everyone feels insecure, incompetent, unlikeable, out of sorts, etc at some point. This test helps measure what your triggers are buried within Inclusion, Control, and Openness by looking at what you "want" and what you "do". My biggest disconnect was in the realm of "inclusion" and it got me thinking - what are some of my fears - of course I want to be liked, and I like to feel a part of things, but is this perception or perceived need holding me back, and if so, how do I change my story? Now this is the interesting part - someone in our group relayed a story that was familiar to me - the desire for inclusion and also having moved around a lot growing up, and a need to overplan themselves, and once one goal has been achieved, to push on towards the next one, always seeking.

Damn, that sounded a bit familiar, I can truly thank my hubby for helping me calm a bit of that down - learning how to enjoy a moment rather than several moments back to back to back to back, running between them all at a frenzied pace. It got me thinking in a different way about the impact of moving around so much when I was young, what I am choosing for my kids, and now, how I choose to integrate that experience for the here and now. It is crazy that this instability growing up, always been the new kid, never growing up with one set of peers created both a person whom is friendly, open and outgoing, but also someone who wants to be included, and doesn't want to feel left out - buried need from being the new kid? It is an interesting thought to toy with and blast away, since that drama is years in the past and now in my own control. I look back 10 years ago, and I enjoyed making all the plans, and throwing parties and making things happen, and through this lens, I see that it was a way to make sure that I was included. I think I have moved away from this need for inclusion - now I wonder how much of it is situational and how much is habitual.

Well worth the session - and timely. It would be interesting to do this one again in a few years when the kids are older and I am further along the dual track of motherhood and career.

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