Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Reflections from "things I have learned in my 40s"

When you borrow an idea, it is important to give credit.  This article resonated for me - 47 Things I've Learned in my 40s.

Here are a few of the highlights that truly struck a chord with me:

2. Don't waste time worrying and moaning about stuff you have no control over. Let it go.
Working on this one.  
5. Listening to someone -- really listening -- is one of the most important, respectful and rewarding things you can do.
6. It's awesome to collect people throughout life, but you're truly blessed if you have a handful of besties who will always, always have your back. Even if you don't speak to them all that often, you know they're there.
7. The morning after is rarely -- if ever -- worth the night before.
9. Experiences are infinitely more memorable than stuff.
10. Confidence is beautiful and powerful.
11. Laugh lines are worth it.
12. It will always boggle your mind how some people will exceed the lowest imaginable depth of stupidity, incompetence and nastiness, while others will exceed the highest imaginable pinnacle of kindness, compassion and helpfulness.
I learn this more and more every day.
13. Don't live your life by anyone else's expectations, taste, hopes or dreams.
Stop.  Think about this.
14. If you rely on others for joy, you will never be joyful yourself.
Another lightbulb moment.
15. Grudges aren't worth it.
Life is too damn short.
18. Tell the little self-sabotaging voice in your head to bug off.
Not always in so nice of words either.
20. Being super-busy is not a badge of honor, importance, popularity or success. It's perfectly OK -- and actually healthier and preferable -- to be not so busy.
Work in progress.
22. Most bad behavior and bitterness is rooted in jealousy.
23. What makes you happy isn't the elixir that will make someone else happy.
24. It's not always someone else's fault. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror.
25. You can disagree with someone's opinions and beliefs, but it doesn't make them wrong. And it's probably best just not to go there when it has to do with religion, politics or love.
26. Friendships change over time. Sometimes they have an expiration date and they dissolve into fuzziness. And that's OK.
28. Stop waxing poetic about how good it used to be. Stop fantasizing about how good it might be in the future. Savor how good it is right now. Make your moments matter.
Right here. Right now.
29. It's nice to be thought of and remembered.
30. Sometimes you've gotta do stuff just because it's the right thing to do. Often it's uncomfortable. Usually it's inconvenient. But it's almost always worth it.
31. Elephants don't belong in the room. Having the tough conversation is ultimately better than living with the energy-sapping misery of resentment or misunderstanding.
32. Some stuff just isn't meant to be. The sooner you accept it and stop trying to force it to happen, the better off you'll be.
34. A good night's sleep is a gift from the heavens and can change everything.
Sleep. Truly a gift.
35. People will make time for you if you're important to them. And they pretty much won't if you're not.
This one has really stayed with me since I first read this list. This is so true.
36. Sometimes you need to suck it up hard in the name of love, peace and harmony.
38. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Stop wasting energy on stuff that isn't your business. You just do you.
39. Accept, embrace and celebrate change.
40. Being polite and smiling genuinely can make a big difference.
41. Stillness is restorative and healing.
Still learning how to do this.
42. Take one day at a time, one step at a time. Break down challenges into small, do-able chunks. It will all get done.
43. Life is what happens while you're waiting expectantly for the next big thing on the horizon to come to fruition. Savor the everyday.
Again. Yes. Here I thought I would pare this list down significantly.  Obviously this list really and truly resonated with me.
44. If you push yourself and focus on what's good rather than wallowing selfishly in the negative, things will almost always improve.
45. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it isn't immediately apparent, but in time, and with reflection, the reason usually becomes clear. And often it's so extraordinary and breathtaking, it'll blow you away.
46. No matter how much you wish, you can't will things to happen. But often, there's a better and "righter" path that reveals itself if you keep your eyes and mind open.
47. Take a risk and have the guts to seize the opportunity, because it may not present itself again.
I haven't had the moments I thought I would have to sit down and do some yearly reflection around my birthday. I have to say, 42 was memorable, but not for all the right reasons.  I think this years' birthday will help me move a little differently and hopefully help adjust a few relationships I have in my life for the better.

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