Minutes are ticking by way too quickly.
Work is upon me tomorrow morning. I am sure it will be a bit of a chaotic morning. My DH and youngest go one way, and then my oldest and I will head up the hill. It will be interesting to see how it all comes together. If I get lucky, both boys will sleep until wakened, but they both seem to have some kind of Jedi sense when I am stirring, and they both seem to wake up soon after I do.
I spent a few minutes going though my work clothes tonight (yes, I have been in denial) and they mostly all fit. I am sure some of it is dated (didn't get a lot of new things in between kids, didn't seem to be a point) and there will be some shopping in the future, but I am pleased with most of it. My body has shifted a bit, and I would like to see a few parts of me shrink, and maybe that will come with a little extra walking now that I am back at work.
I had a few oddly affirming phone calls with family today. I am glad to be going back to work. I do believe that I am a better person/mom for my working self. I think the kids are better at being them by being with kids their own age too - they get things from their interactions I/Ken can't provide. Working part-time one day may be an awesome option, it isn't right now. So, the affirming part about going back to work happened in a back handed way when I was speaking to an Aunt on my mom's side... she asked me what my "goal" was in going back to work. I nearly choked. My first answer was "financial" I almost said "eating". My cousin followed this brilliant question (I was making phone calls for a family birthday celebration for the boys) up with a winner of her own ""so, if you bought say, less clothes for yourself, would you really need to go back to work?" I should note that although I have bought a few things here and there over the last year, I have been using coupons or going to a certain outlet store to do so. More replacing things that just don't fit anymore... okay, so I bought two pairs of shoes in Vegas...
(on a total aside, funny this parenting thing has revealed to me what parts of my family I am like and truly close, and then the opposing parts that I am vastly different from)
Wow. I am glad this gene skipped myself (not sure how my mom's bro has done it all these years but he is a bit of an odd duck himself) for just being completely obtuse. In nearly 20 years of marriage, my cousin worked part time for 2 of them. She is a very nice person, but she is very naive and isolated and a princess kept in her house. I have heard rumors that she had her couch redone in teddy bear print (a little out of touch with reality... or other people's realities). She doesn't like computers, and has no desire to really get out there and do much more than take care of her small family and garden (to each their own). I wasn't sure how to explain that I do like to work, and that I do need to work (we like our toys and to eat), and that it would be okay.
I don't need to hear how tough it is going to be going back to work - yes, it will be in a way, but in some ways, once we get through the transition, we will find a new way. Life is about change (for most people) and frankly, I like what working means we can do (like travel on occasion). So the conversations ended up being strange, and I got off of the phone shaking my head, but glad I was getting out and doing my job again, I like what I do and I can make a difference for folks.
It doesn't mean I can't whinge a bit about it - life is a changing and I will miss being with the boys 24/7 but it is also time that Brandon especially gets to preschool (he needs the challenge) and that Connor has other people to interact with... and me, well, speaking to adults again, doing my hair, and wearing a bra again regularly are all good things. HA!
Wish me luck. I have a lone strongbow left in the fridge to help with Monday night.