The breastaurant is officially closed.
It closed for a night on Saturday, reopened briefly on Sunday, and closed again last night.
It felt so right. Well, Brandon got 2 years, and Connor got just about 22 months. They should both consider themselves lucky for two totally different reasons. After Brandon, I didn't feel like I was done yet, perhaps some inner awareness that another child was a possibility. Now, I am done. I am so glad to have had two kids, and to have breastfed as long as I did, and I am SO GLAD I finally did it.
It didn't happen how I thought it would - I had visions of Ken putting Connor to bed every night and me hiding out in Brandon's room. The cowards way out, this is what I figured would be the easiest. In the end, I ended up telling Connor he was a big boy, and slowly weaning him off by putting him on a nightly time limit, and on Saturday, I reached that point where it was really easy to just not do it. I sang to him, laid next to him, and stayed until he fell asleep. Then I ran out in to the living room and did a few fist pumps.
D O N E .
Did I mention I am just thrilled about this? For me it isn't about "getting my body back" (okay, maybe a little but more in the sense of not having some one pull down my shirt, or trying to grab me, and then go for a meal) but it just being so the right time. Connor is a big guy, he doesn't need it, and it is time to get comfort from his loved ones in a different way. Time for me to let go too, and move along.
Bedtime is getting easier, and the wake ups in the middle of the night haven't been as bad as I expected. It is a relief. So I didn't take the cowards way out and I dealt with it (my karma I suppose) and faced my fears about weaning. The heart wrenching cries were few, he seems to have handled it well, and life moves on. I will cherish the memories I have of breast feeding, and I am glad I persisted with both. Very rewarding, not the easy thing in the beginning you think it will be, and so very much the right time to move on.