Tuesday, April 18, 2017

My tribe.

Eventually I will try to link this post to a book I just read that inspired the title of this post. (look at that, saving this original post as a draft has allowed me to do just that! my bar is currently set pretty low about getting this blog/record keeping of random thoughts/books I read back up to date).

I was going to start with saying that I have had an interesting week, but in what I do and in my life, it seems that most weeks are pretty interesting, just saying.

Almost two weeks ago I decided to have an open mind and try the massage therapist at the physio clinic my DH has been going to for vestibular therapy.  Yes, that is a very fancy word for concussion treatment.  Normally I have gone with a personal referral, but this time I figured since DH is here anyways, and my lower back seems to give me grief, and it seems that my left side has done weird things for a while, it would be a good idea to try to do some self-care.

A long story short - the treatment was okay.  The RMT talked way more than I do, and had some interesting things to say. It would appear I am really tight through my glut muscles, and likely have very weak core muscles, especially on the left side which is causing part of my issues. It felt like he was putting me off more to the physio, like I could see him maybe one more time and then whatever. That was off-putting more in the sense of for an hour initial visit, it really didn't feel like we had a plan, or that they had an understanding of me.  I think a few of my points were also missed.  The other part was the almost racial comments made throughout the session.  They were Asian. Frankly I don't give a damn what race you are as long as you are a good person. They made multiple comments about Caucasians, almost negatively, and these were comments about their friends.  I also told them what I do for a living, and they felt they could never do my job because they would feel so many of their clients are entitled, and don't work hard enough and wouldn't be able to do it.

Fair enough.  I have a weirdly stressful job that has strange and beautiful benefits.

I did book a follow up appointment, but I struggled with it all weekend.  I broke the appointment on Monday and decided to go to the physio instead.

See, in my work, I see students.  They are coming to me for help.  I am not judging them by colour, size, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.  In that moment, they are a student, seeking help.  We all have our biases, but I really try to move away from that.  We are also trying to teach our kids about that - we have dear friends that are gay, and they don't even bat an eye about it because it was a conversation and that was it. Still boggles  my mind when I reflect on what a process this was back in the day when I started university and a few friends came "out".

Sometimes not getting what you want is a good thing. I started this post back in February? March? Part of it was a response to what we are going through and going to a RMT and not quite getting what I signed up for but got some great mental processing and a gut check from to moving towards something better and that we are doing as a couple (head and lower back therapy (something to be said about a couple that is vulnerable together by doing physio together) and part as a response to the book I was reading (Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson).

I really enjoyed parts of this book, found some parts dragged a little, and other times it really resonated with me.  I don't generally read a lot of non-fic, but this is one that I would recommend, especially if you are a little off kilter and not quite as normal as your peers, as I think perchance at times am I. I mean to check out her blog more... but then I find that time seems to slip through my fingers like sand in a glass.

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