Everything is happening fast right now.
Yesterday was a day of extremes. When I got home from work on Wednesday night, everything hurt. I tried having a shower, it kind of helped. Dinner didn't really sit all that well, and tried to get to bed at a decent time. Work up Thursday morning and everything hurt (including my toes). By 7:30 am I knew it was a good day to call in sick. My DH ended up home with me, which was really nice to be home together without the joyous company of our kids.
Now, to some background noise. Over the last few weeks, my cat Murphy's health has taken a bit of a nose dive. It seemed like he got really skinny and quite terrible a few weeks ago. I spent some time giving him lots of loving and he seemed to come around a bit. Over the weekend we tried to see if we could coax him out of whatever was going on - we tried tuna, his favourite cat food, grass and clover (seems to cure everything) ... nothing seemed to be helping. Murphy had stopped eating, spent all his time in the bathtub, or wedged in beside the toilet, or hiding under our bed. He had given up his spot as sentinel near my head, and really didn't want to be cuddled. In his eyes he was still there, but you could tell something was really wrong. This wasn't my normal cat. I hate to admit, but I knew something was up. This wasn't a random virus. I have been in denial of things since the weekend, and I figured that today I had needed to act so had already made an appointment to see the vet for after work.
So, it was a day where I was completely under the weather. Ken and I did some errand running because we could without our kidlets, and then I got a call at 2pm to pick up a sick kid. So I went up to get and and then we hung out for a few hours watching kid movies (I wasn't up to entertaining my dearest and he was just overtired more than anything else) and then to taking my wee friend to the vet. I had been worried about cat diabetes because of Murphy's desire for water and for laying in the bathtub and the guilt of making a decision of what to do, but in the end the decision was out of my hands. The vet found lumps on his kidneys and diagnosed kidney failure more than likely due to cancer. In his condition, she recommended the best thing to do was for us to let him go. There was nothing else we could have done, and taking him home for a day and then to bring him back again would have been prolonging his lingering and degeneration. It is hard to say goodbye to a friend you figured would be around for 20 years and you only had them for 11. He was the coolest cat ever, and I am glad I could hold him up to the very end. This is part of being a responsible adult that truly sucks.
RIP Murphy. You were an awesome four-legged friend and have a special spot in my heart.
I was grateful my parents had offered up some stew for dinner since I didn't really want to cook, and Ken jumped in with both feet. By 7pm I had a raging headache (on top of the body ache and nausea) and no attention span whatsoever and needed to lie down. By 11pm I was freezing. At 1am I was sweating. At 3am my fever must have broken because I was wet and clammy but the worst of my headache had lifted and I seemed to be on the mend.
All I can say is "what a day". A day of total extremes (the good being the errands we accomplished and a nice lunch with my dad, and the bad, well feeling nasty, Murphy, sick kid). This morning I was looking for my buddy and he wasn't there. I am still tearing up (will be for a while) and just missing him. It is amazing how our four legged friends become such an integral part of our families. Just because you have done the "right thing" doesn't make it any easier, but in a sense, it does make it easier because you think of everything you both had because of it.