Flip

Sometimes it is easier being flip, or funny, or sarcastic, or ironic, or dancing around the mulberry bush than it is to be vulnerable.

The last few weeks have been all over the board. Brandon's sleep patterns for a while there went right out the window, which meant that I was pretty over tired, and therefore everything feels that much more personal (even when it isn't). It doesn't help when I have a night where I can't sleep, and I can't seem to shut my mind off and ideas keep rolling around, clanking together and making such an awful noise that when I try to distract myself by concentrating on just breathing, it really doesn't work all that long. And it seems like another hour has slipped by. This pattern seems to happen either right after Brandon falls asleep, or on the night that I have designated as the "early to bed and catch up" night...

This is one of the reasons I love to read, especially at night before bed. It turns my brain off. It distracts me. At a certain point I get tired, turn off the light, and voila - asleep I am. I have always had a hard time falling asleep - back when I/we used to go out partying, or when I used to drink more (after hockey, etc)- I would have the best sleeps. A couple of beers and I was good to .... sleep. When you aren't the type that falls asleep when your head hits the pillow it sure is nice when it does work out that way. Not what you were expecting me to say, eh? Well, don't believe everything you hear!

Its been a quiet night at home, and I can't say that there is much on tv that holds my interest. I am also out of new books to read so I am rereading an old archaeology text book about burial mounds in the Orkney Islands (actually quite fascinating). I don't always think to throw in a CD either to fill in the quiet spaces, although I love music. The last few weeks have felt like a bumpy ride, some good, some whatever. A few days I was worrying myself stupid about Brandon, and then the worry seemed to pass over night when he went back to his own state of what looks like normal. Got our stereo in for warranty work, which means no surround sound movie experiences for a while. It could be up to 65 DAYS!!!!!! to find out if they can fix it (if not at that point it gets replaced, woo woo)... Introducing solid foods has its moments, and the weather has improved enough that I am getting out again. I also haven't been feeling all that social in the last few days either, like I am hunkered down, dealing with housework, and at the same time suffering from a bit of cabin fever too.