Here I am!

I have a quiet moment, so I figured that I would sit down to throw out a few thoughts. Of course, now that I have that proverbial white sheet of paper in front of me, I am just sitting here with a stupid look on my face.

Brandon is in bed, at a decent time. Ahhhhh. Last night was one of those nights where he was wired for light and sound between 3 and 5am. Or was that 6am? I think, er I know, that the numbers started to run in together in between cat naps, breastfeeds that never seemed to end, and various other things that go bump in the night. It is what it is, and it is amazing how much energy goes in to his achieving the state of sleep.

The book I am currently reading is bigger than a pocket book, and so was the last one, both of which I would file under the big L for literary books, and are giving my thumb muscles a work out as I am trying to read one handed as Brandon nurses. I am giddy, I will be joining up with a fabulous group of ladies to read books with and just gossip about our lives from our own perspectives. I am really excited, and I hope that they find my enthusiasm endearing because if the last meeting was any indication, the opportunity to talk about books and hang out is pretty heady stuff about now.

I hate to sound redundant, but time is flying by too quickly. I am so aware of time, that as Brandon gets older (how can I have an 8 month old?) it means that I am that much closer to going back to work. I have been in for a few visits, and I can't believe it is closing in on a year since I worked. What did I use to do with all my time? Oh yeah, run around like a chicken with my head chopped off, only doing slightly different things.

The various hockey seasons are wrapping up. It has been strange not playing and now I wonder how I am going to make it fit again in the future and on what terms. I feel distant from my old team - not that I haven't been in touch with a few friends on the team, but I guess I am little disappointed that I haven't spared for them, or even been asked to come out. Not that everyone isn't really happy to see me when I come out to cheer them on, but it feels weird when people not on the team come up to me and ask me when I feel I am ready to start playing again, or ask me why aren't I out there playing when the team is so obviously short of girls some nights. I can only shrug my shoulders and give Brandon a cuddle. Ultimately, I would have been ready to play not long after birth, but it isn't all about me right now and I have to be respectful of Brandon and what works for all of us, especially now that routines are so much more important to all of our well being. I think I will know more how I feel about everything after I get out for a skate, maybe for a stick and puck sometime in the next while, feel the wind on my face and the slap of the stick on the ice.

I will grudgingly admit I was wrong in my predictions about the 'Nucks this year. I figured that their playoff hopes were a dismal far-fetched idea and here they have gone on a kick ass winning streak (granted, how many of those wins have happened in OT or in shoot outs???). I still can't say that I care as much about professional hockey as I did before the lock out. I just haven't been as excited, or watched as many games, although it is rare when I actually get to read or watch a show without interruptions any more :D I guess part of what gets me is that it is an arm, a leg, and maybe even your first born to go to a game now. Hell, you want a beer at the game and you may as well add your folks to the deal. Going to a game is an expensive endeavour now and I can think of a few other ways I would rather spend my money.

Perhaps I should try to blog more often so I don't go on these marathon posts that go on and on and on... speaking of which, after trying out construction grade garbage bags, and then redesigning the kiddie pool vinyl that I begged and whined Ken to get me days before birth last year (and both methods failed miserably) to create my desired water feature in the backyard in the 1/2 whiskey barrel I procured (errr liberated a rhubarb plant from), we took a trip to a local garden center to get a proper insert and a fountain "spitter". We didn't go for one that looks like a little boy puking up water or a dying fish, we went for a gargoyle with a walking stick, with water coming out one end. I like it. I get a kick out of being outside with my hands in the dirt and watching things grow. I also scored some great deals on potted tulips, which for me is a bonus - not only do I get to enjoy the flowers this year, but I have the bulbs for next year! SCORE!

Dare I mention the enabling that happened on a shopping excursion on Friday? Let it be known I have a fabulous new red shirt, and various odds and sods from that swedish place. Speaking of which, I discovered the most brutal, frustrating little piece of doo-dad to put together. I can nail, and this piece nearly did me in with crooked nails!!! I did end up getting a little mocked, but the job was done and my computer desk has become a much more organized chaos.