Well, I am figuring out this new version of Bl0gger, and at times we have gotten on well, and at other times, not so good. It is good for the ol' learning curve though and I am all about those curves!
Lots has happened in the last week, and at times it is hard to stay on top of it all because life keeps on marching forward. It has also been great because I have had the chance to catch up with most of my closest girlfriends so much so that my long distance bill is a bit scorched, and I think my cheeks hurt from talking so much! Ah the price to pay for heart warming conversations. Distance really doesn't matter, or the frequency that you actually get to see each other in person. Friendship is a state that exists in the heart and knows no bounds.
I have been learning about the "momma bear" element that I now possess. Well, perhaps I always had it because I look out for what I consider my own and it is natural to reach out and help even if it is only an ear when I can or am needed. Now that "momma bear" element is a little more focused that I have my own family.
It has also been reaffirmed for me that ultimatums don't work. Through our network of friends I have seen one couple make the next step after ten years of being together and another couple shatter because the battle lines were drawn in the sand and it was do or die in terms of taking the next step. It is a funny thing about our culture that once a couple has been together a certain amount of time, expectations start to rise exponentially. Especially when the two people aren't kids anymore (read in your early 20s). Those expectations of taking the next step are more so exposed by friends and family who are looking for a good excuse to celebrate, and occaisonally by one half of the overall equation. Most of us have been there where we have had to contemplate this, and in my own relationship, I feel that having this label or that label isn't what counts and shouldn't make a difference because in your heart of hearts, you know what you have together and shouldn't need the external validation to prove that. Of course, it is nice when you cross that line and take that next step (if it is natural and on both of your terms where a choice and a decision has been made not an ultimatum delivered) and make a public commitment but I feel it should be a natural progression of your relationship and not something that you had to do to make someone momentarily happy. Soon we will have been married a whole year and I can say that this year has been like the rest - we are partners, throwing our hats in together and what we have done is publicly affirmed that in our way and things continue to improve because we have more shared experiences, a life together, our son, and so much more of a collective history and our steps follow a parallel path of togetherness.
No one likes being backed in to a corner. At the end of the day, there are no winners. It is also why I like the barter system - both parties have the opportunity to walk away happy with something in the "hand".
Yup. I am going on a big ramble here, and talking around the bush a bit, but it is my way of just throwing a few of my own philosophies out there, as wacked out as they are or convoluted at times (my disclaimer since I know every one has their own stance on this one). Who knows if I make sense, but somewhere in here this makes sense to me!
1 comment:
Hi Spazzy Kazzy! I've finally had time to read your recent RantPage. Tee-hee! I just made that word up yesterday. And you can stop leaving harassing comments on my blog. It's updated to the teeth or should I say "el dente".
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