Out and about

Yesterday was amazing - crisp and cold and lots of snow on the ground. We made it out to a local park and the lake was totally frozen! Not a sight you see here on the left coast very often! I felt giddy getting out of the house to get some shopping and banking done, and then to have some time before the next nap/feed/etc to hit the park. It was beautiful and I went a little wild with the camera. One of the advantages of being on a mat leave is that you actually get to experience all the seasons... which is different for me since I work in a box within a box, within a box in which I only know the weather when I get out of my place of work. I do not miss not having a window to look out of. It will be a rude awakening when I go back to work!

Snow????!!!!

We got snow!!!!! It is beautiful, cold, and a little unreal. I can't remember the last time we got snow and it actually stuck!!!! Of course it makes driving chaos and why does snow equate with jerks in big trucks tailgating? It this a reverse evolution of the species type thing??? Hot damn it is cold!! It is hard to believe it is only the end of November, we have to figure out where the salt is for the slippery spots, and consciously thinking about warming up the car before taking off. I guess this is how the rest of Canada normally feels at this time of the year? LOL. Ken took the first pic with the "night exposure" setting on, and the second one is old school just stay as still as possible...

A prolific week

It seems I have had the occaisonal moment here and there in the chaos to actually be a somewhat regular poster this week. What a wacked out week it was.

At this point, we have heat, which is a good thing. I know now about thermal couplings thanks to my BIL whom very graciously replaced ours today after the pilot light extinguished itself again.

We have also been through 3 TPR valves. Urm. What is this language I doth speak? Temperature/Pressure Release valves that extend out of your hot water tank. Ours no longer seem to want to hold the water in, and unfortunately we have exhausted our cumulative knowledge. It is surprising how much we rely on turning on the tap and having luxurious warm water come out at will! Ah well, a learning experience and it was cool watching Ken and his bro work together as a team. I am definitely grateful Ken is mechanically inclined and not afraid to try, and work things out as best as any of us can with our knowledge logically of what could be going down.

That has been the excitement for the week. Stressing about heat and water, thinking we were in the clear, and then back to reading warranties and googling various bits of water tank lore for answers. Now I am enjoying a quiet moment, there are enough bottles done, I have a semi-interesting book to read that I suspect I will blitz through because the print is really big, and the dust bunnies have been banished back to the corners. The strong bow I had earlier tasted damn fine and the general sentiment was TGIF. On a total aside, I think I did my hibiscus plant in by not taking it in to the house soon enough when the weather started to turn and I have banished it back outside after all the leaves decided to become floor decoration.

Oddly enough, I have this great cactus that I think I have completely scared in to reproduction of the species since it is still outside and adorned with no less than 9 blooms. Sometimes it is best to not ask questions and I think I will bring it in from the cold tomorrow, before the mercury really decides to head south.

Water.

This week has been wacked.

Last week it was the power outtages, and then the boil water advisory, and then our pilot light in our furnace went out and we needed a helping hand, and then yesterday our latest water woes started. A valve blew on the side of our hot water tank... called in our BIL again for his helping hands... before everything was said and done there were 3 trips to the local hardware store, lots of water moved, and fingers crossed. I have finally been able to have a shower and wash away a few days worth of living and we have warm water again!! YAY!

Now I guess I can get back to parenting? I feel like I have only been around with half a brain, between the worrying about the heat and the water I have felt distracted to say the least. I guess this will all make for an interesting conversation when the folks get back home... now to fill up the fish tank and deal with out water fountain which is making a weird noise and I believe our water issues for the day are done.

Oh the indiginity.

Last night I decided to check out the status of the well ventilated pants.

I just bought them in September (remember that successful dash across the border?) and I even bought them a size bigger so I would have some ultra comfy green cargo pants. Apparently I have a penchant for green cargos as I have owned several pairs to date.

Well, that damn rip is almost irrepairable. If I am to stitch it, it will be an obvious line from cheek to outer thigh... almost. I guess I do nothing halfway! I was pissed, those are, er were great pants and now will be great to hang about the house in. Funny though, other times when I have ripped the ass out of a pair of pants comes to mind - like the time when I was 13, wearing freshly painted on stretch jeans (remember that was the 80s and well I had the hair to match) and I was oh so cool at the PNE and as I got on a ride, out popped my ass. In my humble opinion, it seems like if your ass is going to expose itself, it will never happen in the privacy of your own home. The one thing I can say is I cared a lot less this time around than 20 years ago.

Ok, and what is up with that arsehole in the states who wants to publish a book and a TV show describing "if I was to do this....this is how I would do it?!". Anyone else wish that this certain individual would become a potential Darwin Candidate and just do himself in because there should be a category for people like him because he is just a wacked out wanker??!!! W T F is he on? 'nuff said.

Spam. Spam. Spam. Green eggs and Spam.

Last week I inadvertently discovered that my email addy had a previous "owner".

Whomever this person was liberally scattered their email addy far and wide across the net because O M G do I get a lot of spam. Sure, I am a SAHM right now and getting emails is great, but when you get 30 spams in a day, and perhaps 1 0r 2 emails from real people, the thrill of the popularity quickly diminishes. I am trying to opt-out of as many as I can, and hell, I have my spam filter working overtime, but the spam keeps on breeding! I like my new email addy so I will continue to hit that delete key, but hopefully the tide will turn sooner rather than later because the spam is a royal pain in the ass.

On another note, I uttered the fateful words to my folks before they left on holidays - "if something happens while you are gone that you have no control over, we won't tell you about it until you get home". I figured that made sense, since when you are a few thousand miles away, there really isn't anything you can do at that point. Well, we realized yesterday that after about 3 days of no heating sounds, that the furnace was indeed off and even Ken was wearing socks around the house and Brandon was in a few extra layers. Thankfully my BIL rocks and was able to come over and lend a helping hand today and successfully relit our pilot light! Disaster averted!

I also seemed to spend a lot of time away from the house this weekend, paying forward a good deal to my bro and nephew, and then getting myself a new coat. I am now the proud owner of a swanky (IMHO) pea coat that actually fits! I figured that since it has been 1995 since I sprung for a new coat (rather than hand-me-downs no matter how cool they are they weren't bought with me in mind) it was time. I got to wear it out yesterday and I felt like a cool chic in my coat... that is until I bent over to put something in to the stroller and ripped the ass out of my pants. Then I was truly grateful I had a new coat because it covered my new ventilation.

worst quality?

The other day when I was filling out that form that crashed on me a few times, it asked what is your worst quality. Even doing an honest assessment, this is a hard question to answer.

I said that my worst quality is that I can be really hyper (I know what I am like when I am literally bouncing off of walls with energy and noise and lots of words). I should have said "cramming my feet in my mouth" because when I am hyper or excited I tend to talk quicker than my brain can keep up with. Then when I have verbally stepped on someone that I care about, I realize that my intended message really didn't come out and that it was lost in the rush to get the words out.

Makes me feel like a first class tool, heel, and asshole when that happens. It seems to go in spurts too , I am really good for a while and then I feel like I am 12 years old again and I should be writing lines, I should think before I speak. Damn. Funny how life can repeat itself sometimes.

Usually it isn't something awful or nasty that has been blurted out, it is something careless that makes your loved one feel like you weren't really listening, and although I am, it certainly doesn't appear that way in how the words dropped out. So, I am mentally trying to reprogram my hyper brain, I will think before I speak or, atleast take a look at that foot before it actually arrives in my mouth so I don't sound like a heel and what I am really trying to say manages to make it's way to the front rather than being pushed aside in the big panic.

Batten down the hatches!

The last 24 hours have been bizarre.

• we are in the middle of a rain forest storm - read lots of high winds and rain. Lots of rain
  
• My apple tree up and shed all it's leaves at once, scattering them across the yard - it was quite dramatic!
• I have been a bit of an insomniac the last few nights... which wasn't all that nice when Brandon woke up at 1am (prolly from me tossing and turning) and decided to be up for over an hour. Wasn't that bad, I was up anyways, I just felt this fear in my gut he wasn't going to stay asleep and this ended up being the beginning of a really screwed up sleep night for us both!!
  
• we have lost power 4 times already!
• The house looks like somehow turned a power washer on the outside from the evil sideways rain we are having.
  
• Brandon also woke up from his afternoon nap 4 times and when I figured that I wasn't getting a decent nap break, he flaked out again?!
• Did I mention the rain??
• was doing an online entry thingee last night and had to go through the whole process no less than 3 complete times because I skimmed over a few direction s (so much for being a multi-tasking mom!!!)
• had a little incident in the bath with our wee one last night... lets just say that the phrase "dropping the kids off at the pool" has taken on a whole new meaning for me
• the laundry is officially done for the week after stretching out the process over 2 complete days
• as I finish this, my little sweetie is nestled in to my chest and I resort to one finger typing... wouldn't trade it for the world
  

cold feet

I finally had to break down and go upstairs and turn on the heat. Granted, I could solve part of my problem by putting on a pair of socks, since my feet are like ice blocks and it is cold and damp so as far as I am concerned, time to turn up the heat and perhaps raid Ken's sock drawer for some warm and fuzzy comfort socks since mine are all in the wash!

Speaking of which, I need some new socks. I got rid of all the white ones a few years ago, and just haven't seem to gotten many new ones.

At this point it takes me a few days to ruminate about a post and then steal a few minutes to bang something out. It continually amazes me that some days I am totally on my mommy-game, and other days, yeah, lets not talk about those days. I think I am getting in to the swing of things when it comes to recognizing when Brandon needs a nap. After about 2 hours, I start looking for the sleep signs and winding him back down. The last week has been rewarding and punishing all at the same time. During the day, Brandon has been all smiles, and starting to show a desire to sit up (and can even do a funny kind of solo sit with him hunched over), and is disovering his voice, which involves a lot of squealing. I am figuring out a few new ways to play with him, and have discovered something in common - we both love to have our feet rubbed! Who knew?

I figure he is in the three month growth squirt since last week he grew 2cm in a week!!! No wonder why the sizes seem to be going to the way side really quickly! The down side has been the nights, he is still sleeping for a good chunk of time, just a few more wake ups in the night for cuddles and the girls. Means a few mornings I have been staying in bed as long as I can push it since to get up any earlier would create a mommy-fog that I would really have to claw out of and isn't nice. At that point coffee barely makes a dent in the sandy eyed bleary feeling I get. Some of our best moments are those waking up moments in the morning. I just lay there looking at him, and we smile at each other, and make baby-noises, and my heart gets bigger and bigger when I look at this little guy we created from our love. I know it sounds cheesy, but it is true. It ain't *all* rosy nice and worthy of fawning about and carrying on because no one is perfect, but there are moments every day when everything else falls away and you have these stripped down moments and you can only be grateful to be walking in these shoes in this moment. Much like when you get cuddles from your sweetheart, and you don't have to say anything, just revel in the moments that are quiet and you are together.

Now my much abused and ignored cat (in his humble opinion, I can tell from the looks he gives me, like "who the hell is this hairless cat and why oh why does he get so much more attention than me! ya gotta love cats) decides to jump up and lay all over my hands. Moment is over and time to carry on with the bits and pieces that make up the day and do some tidying in these moments my little duffer sleeps.

for something completely different

Now that my face is no longer red from my big walk, and I have fed zee baby, I decided to take a little surfin trip.

I found something way cool which was a link from another website. How does one get away from the gender stereotyping that begins right away when loved ones start to read for the blue or the pink toque? This clothing company is the answer! I am so doing a little shopping here for my lil' rebel!!! There is some really great stuff within the shopping pages!! I am rubbing my hands together with glee at the thought of some of the onesies (etc) I could get. Granted, I would probably only spring for one because I am cheap, but man, I had some good laughs imagining Brandon in some of this stuff. Once we take the plunge I will update with our selection!

Freaking awesome stuff.

Confidence

It has been an introspective morning so far.

A few random thoughts as I process a few things:

• motherhood is like gaining a whole new kind of confidence. so far it has been this rollar coaster like journey of going up and up and up, and then down then up then crash then back up again. Whether it be with breast feeding, or learning sleep cycles, or how to play with your child, or how to successfully bathe together, it is an ongoing learning curve for all of you. it is really rewarding at times, and other times, I just feel like I am stumbling along in the dark looking for illuminated corners or words or examples to go by. This has done strange things to my confidence though - I am more aware of my strengths and getting to know my weaknesses a bit better. It's just crazy the doubts you can have at times about your ability to be a mom (or a dad) when really the bottom line is love and best intentions.
  
• talking to other moms has been invaluable and I have learned something from all of my friends, whether or not they have kids
  
• although I am quite comfortable being at home, getting out is a big deal. I have been a bit cooped up in the last few weeks (for many reasons including the nasty weather and lack of personal motivation which is going to change, life is all about cycles you know?!) and getting out for a walk yesterday was huge. it doesn't have to be a big deal to get out anymore, it is just getting out and getting some fresh air and seeing something beyond the yard. I think this also links back to confidence. Confidence to get out of the house and be able to handle or deal with whatever gets thrown your way because this is all new to me/us. I haven't been around a lot of kids for years and I feel like a wide-eyed kid myself with lots to learn. I think that is almost a good thing because I am more of a 'tabula rosa' when it comes to all this parenthood stuff and learning by trying and doing rather than being caught up in a lot of woulda's and coulda's.
  
• Ken and I are continually amazed by what Brandon can do already which I think is also a product of being curious and just seeing how things unfold rather than having all the books and how to's that are out there. I think we have the right amount of printed help material - enough to give us guideposts but not enough to have everything mapped out either
  
• for someone who loves to read, I am getting more information through talking and bouncing ideas around, and perhaps the occaisonal email than I am from books when it comes to evolving in to this parenthood thing

Here's to the rain holding off for a few hours so I can get out for another walk today!

Word Verification

I suspect that I am not the only one that feels this way, and no matter how worthwhile it is to have word verification turned on is, some of the letter combinations (read complete and utter gibberish) are so damn hard to read and type - partially because as my fingers attempt to gracefully dance and jitterbug across the keys my mind seems to make the occaisonal error when transcribing the jumbled up text and relate said text unbroken to said fingers.

Talk about a fancy schmancy way to say that half the time I screw up that word verification and then I get given a new, easier, and bigger print jumbled up word. If I screw that one up, I get an even easier puzzle to sort out. Kind of funny if you ask me. Show me that you at least have a pulse and I will reward you with the word verification word you should have had to begin with instead of some crazy jumbled up shit that you can't tell the i's from the j's. So making comments isn't always the easiest thing for me to do.

Or order tickets. I get those word verification things a few times too because I make mistakes.

I guess I could pay more attention when I type, but I tend towards stream of unedited consciousness (oh really? what a surprise) and just getting my thoughts out as quickly as I can... backing up when I have made obvious mistakes and letting the rest go... that is until I re-read what I have typed and there have been a few times that I have had to go back and edit because *I* couldn't fully get the gist of what I was getting at.

Ah yes. What am I getting at today? This is post 300. A milestone of sorts. Must be a product of kissing the Blarney Stone back a few years ago.

Currently I am listening to a mixed CD and I must say that burning a CD with a few of your favourite songs is a helluva lot easier than it was back in the day. When I was a child of the 80s I remember staying up late, since I liked heavy metal at that point, and taping songs off of the radio between 11 and midnight, the so called "power hour". I got quite good at it, but you know, it pales in comparison to being able to spend a few minutes and create a CD with a few keystrokes. During some of my daytime surfing, I found out that "Dude that looks like a lady" by Aer0smith was written about Vince Neil. Who knew? But it made me laugh.

Babbling

Although it looks dark and tempestuous outside, I took out the recycling and was surprised to find that it is really mild. The rain is also holding off for a few minutes. Which means that I am now giving Brandon "the look", wondering if he is down for a great long nap or if he will awaken soon, and perhaps I can bundle him up for a short walk around the block. I love the shock of how mild it is, especially when for all appearances, it is absolutely a miserable November day out there.

You know you are from the Coast when you look up at the sky and admire the various shades of gray and enjoy the fecundity of the fallen leaves. Time to finally throw out the pumpkins and tidy up around the edges. It may seem like I am a neat freak, but the reality is that I go on cleaning binges and get things looking sparkling clean, and then... all goes to hell in a hand basket for a few days until I find my motivation to keep the dust bunnies away again. That is usually monday when I catch up on all the mundane tasks I avoided throughout the weekend. Both of us are messy. We don't always pick up after ourselves, and well, when you only have so many hours together over the weekend I can't say that housekeeping ranks high as a priority.

I have a yen to hit the ice again soon. I am even dreaming about playing, past teams and friends. Even to go for some public skating, just to get out there and remind myself that I haven't forgotten how to play. Even to do some drills, take some shots, see if I can still make a pass and hit the other person's stick.. or general direction...Speaking of which, this is a great new show that is original and funny. Perhaps because I love my own goalie it tinkles my fancy but it is laugh out loud funny, especially the goalie derby in this week's episode.

When it finally decides to rain

There is already 2-3 inches of rain accumulated here. Of course, I rarely wear socks so when I ran around the house to grab today's mail, the bottom of my pant legs got wet! The rain is coming down so hard and fast that it is bouncing up before joining the puddles.

Nothing like a good rain to pummel the remaining summer flowers and to truly usher in fall! Makes me feel for my honey who has to work outside in this! Weather like this squashes any urges I had to go for a walk today and it is barely after noon and it already feels dark outside. I am not motivated to do much in the way of house tending at this point. Here we are at another weekend. Between the time and weather changes I can feel myself hunkering down and looking for projects that I can do inside. I like the idea of scrapbooking, and I have been putting together a book about Brandon, but it is more intimidating than writing on a blank page! There are so many good pictures, and stories to already be told, that it is hard to pick. I figure that the point of a scrapbook is to include memory highlights rather than the whole she-bang. That is also the up and down side of digital photos... we have many and not all of them are going to be printed out. It's weird being home all the time. For someone who spent a lot of time figuring out how to make it between hockey and school and work and visiting and figuring in sleep and eating, it is a whole new take on life. Being with Brandon is it's own reward, but I am relearning how to relax, being introspective in a different way, and organizing. Yup, when you have more time on your hands it is the natural time to catch up on all those little projects you have put off for months. I can still ramble from a rain storm to clearing the clutter projects!