Should I lament that this only a trilogy?

If the Magicians was good... this book was even better.

I have no idea how I truly ended up on a magical fantasy kick, but when the books are this good, it is hard to move on to other genres again.

This book focused on both Quentin and the crew in Fillory, and in providing Julia's back story and how she becomes a hedge witch (a witch that has not gone through the traditional route through Brakebills, she didn't make the cut in the exam and she wasn't supposed to remember the experience, but she did). The Magician King is a book that shows some pretty decent character development and growth, and there are times you do think that Quentin is really annoying, and the you don't like Julia very much.  Then you get to see them grow, and change through this novel, and by the end, you do have affection and care, because they aren't the persons they were at the beginning of this series.

I love that the characters go on quests in these novels, and that the whole point of going on a quest is the adventure and you have to go in to it with an open mind because you don't know what you are looking for until it has found you.  These stories also talk about how important it is to trust your instincts, and sometimes, to realize that you really aren't the chosen one, and that it is ok.  This is also a journey of acceptance, of pushing boundaries, of losing everything and rebuilding yourself, and of having never lost hope...

Note to self: I really must try to write these reviews after the I finish the books (yes I work some magic with the dates sometimes) rather than when I am completely immersed in the Magician's Land, thoroughly engaged in it, and madly trying to read it as quickly as possible to find out how things work out.

I have placed a hold on Book 3, and I have mixed feelings that this is only a trilogy, and therefore I only have about 400 more pages to go before the conclusion.  Sigh. See previous note to self.  I am bending my own time here.  Who I am kidding... I love this series.  What a total, welcome surprise. Up there with Potter and Narnia for me.  Will definitely get me thinking over time about these kinds of novels and the role that they play, especially as I am reading both Potter (with B) and the Narnia series (with C) and it all comes together nicely.

No, I think it was me all along....

I am not quite sure how I stumbled along this one (trolling through the library lists perhaps), however, it was a surprisingly great read.

Right now, it feels like certain things are crossing my path because it might just be the right time that I am open to the "messages".  A few examples:

Move differently. (working on this one, see the earlier blog that I started to think about this).

Balance.  (a theme of my 40s that seems to be a little easier to contemplate as our kids are getting older).

Healthier lifestyle.  This has been a lifelong struggle for me.  Reading this book was liberating in sense.  I really appreciate her honesty in talking about her body, her personal relationships, her relationship with food, and how she changed her course. I have always been a little overweight.  Maybe what attracted me to this book was the picture on the front.  That girl could  have been me.  Hence, when I was thinking about a title for this post, that was the most natural thing to call it. Andie talks about the times she felt like her body betrayed her (for not being the right size) and how she emotionally ate.  She talks about how food was a constant companion when her life fell apart, and how things came to a head when she was 20 and ate her entire birthday cake.  There are some food excesses that I just can't relate to, but I can relate to feeling like my body betrayed me, the resentment I have felt when clothes shopping, and the love I have felt for shoes because I have been a "10" as long as I can remember. A lot of the time I don't look in the mirror, and I am critical of the images I see in photos.  In this current moment, I am starting small.  My goals are to eat more vegetables, and to exercise at least 30 minutes a day. I have used my elliptical more in the last week (only twice) than I have in the last year since I bought it (which was twice, okay, equal amount as of the writing of this).  I am worth the time to take better care of myself. I want to weigh less. I want to feel better in how I look in shorts.  I want to feel like I have more endurance, and more physical capability. I want to zipline and not be worried about my overall weight. This book will help because it showed me a success story.  Every piece won't match, but the decision that Andie made, the times she stumbled, and her honesty will help me in my journey.

Worthiness. I am worth a haircut, going to massage therapy on occaison, and for a good coffee.  I am worth taking the time to take proper breaks, to take time out to walk, and time out to read my favourite books.  It is so easy to put yourself last, and take care of everyone else's needs (even the house and that cat), but it is also important to take care of ourselves.  We are so worth it.  Why are we training to feel that we aren't, even when we are bombarded with messages that say "just do it"???

Saying No, and being okay with it. This came up on Friday in a PD workshop that I was in, and it comes up in life as a woman, and a mom.  Maybe even as a people pleaser in the past who bent over backwards to help people.  It can be okay to say NO.  People do it all the time.  It is part of being honest, and setting ourselves up for success.  Sometimes we need a reminder about this.

Andie also has a blog, and there are some interesting tidbits. I am glad I read this book, I am glad to be in a place where I can take and leave the parts that work, and don't work for me.  I have thought about this book for a few days, and I am hopeful my bookclub may want to read it... I think that a truly interesting and vulnerable conversation will happen through this (not that we don't already have some pretty great conversations). It is also funny how after you read a very personal story like this, you do feel like you could be on a first-name basis with a complete strange.  Telling our stories is important.  It is part of our process, and it can truly help other people who need the inspiration.

Even if you aren't a fan of rowing... worth a dive between these pages

This book has a lot of things going for it, IMHO.  I don't read a lot of non fiction books, but it seems that when I do, they are about sports.  I believe in the power of sport (whatever one happens to float your boat), and what can happen through and as a result of sport for both individuals and communities.

There are many different ways that you could speak about this book.  This group of young men that came together in Seattle to become the victorious crew in the Berlin Olympics of 1936 is inspiring.  That they managed their feat with the backdrop of the great depression, and then the rise of Hitler adds yet another layer.  That this was a west coast team with humble roots that emerged victorious, is yet another element to this Olympic tale of resilience, perseverance, and team work.

This is a great book.  It is one I may purchase so all my boys can read it at a later date.  Brown really captures something about the time, about the West Coast, about rowing, and even offers a different viewpoint in to Germany in the 1930s.  As someone who read a lot of Holocaust literature, this provides a different lens to viewing Germany and a new entry point in to the history from a different point of view. This is also about the poetry of being on the water, of growing together in to a team, and about what happens to individual when they persevere in the face of difficulty. Each chapter starts with a quote from George Pocock, and I actually read them. Many of them are quietly profound.  There heartbreaking moments in this novel, and moments that lift your heart.  What more can you hope for from a book?  Definitely an inspiring read, and well worth your time to read.

I do think that we stumble on the right books, at the right time.  Sometimes for entertainment, and sometimes for more obscure reasons (such as lessons we need to learn or new thoughts to have bloom in our imagination).  This book is inspiring.  It is a quick read, it easily weaves a few personal stories with the larger picture.  For me, I remember being an undergraduate and wishing that I had the courage to go up to the rowing table and join the club.  I loved to row (just a plain old rowboat) when I was a kid visiting my grandparents in Sechelt, and to canoe, and I just didn't have the gumption at the time to walk up to that table.  I wish I did, but looking back, hockey was starting to figure pretty big in my life at the time, and I don't think I would have had the time for both sports.  I did dragon boating for three years, which already feels like a lifetime ago, and I loved it.  What I would like to do next is outrigger.  My goals for 2015 would be to get myself out paddle boarding in White Rock at least once this year, and to figure out how I can get myself out on the water in my local community.  I don't see hockey happening for me anytime soon, and perhaps this is the time to get back out on a boat.  In this way, this book has been a reminder for me, the peace that I feel out on the water, and the satisfying feeling of being with a team that has accomplished something physical together.  For me, there is also the lessons about working together as a team, of finding your "swing" as a group, and about giving yourself up to trusting your team.  This can be about anything in life, even your closest friendships, family, and your spouse.  It is also about the investment of time in to yourself, and the people that are part of your team.  This for me is especially true when I think about work and the people around me.  We haven't always gotten along, and there are times when I could say that things weren't well.  There is also something equally to be said about when you stick it out and persevere, time passes, and you are able to work through the challenges and get to somewhere you would never have ended up if things had always been 'sunshine and rainbows'.

The right coast.

I love the BC coast. I could not imagine living anywhere else.  I love the forest, I love the ocean.  I love the great blue skies (when you can see them) and I love the rain that falls... hmmm... that weirdly started to sound like the "Discovery Song"!  The last week truly felt like a gift spending time first  with my immediate family, and then more of our other family members.

It has been an amazing week since I left work a week ago. 

We travelled through Duke Point - what a different ferry experience, especially considering that this is one of the busiest travel weekends of the year.  It was great.  Everything went smoothly coming and going, and we didn't have to pay for any reservation fees.  I think we have this down to a fine art.

We stayed two days in Parksville at Beach Acres (love it) and then two days at my coz's place in Nanaimo.  Over the last few years, we have worked on a great tradition.  To Nanaimo for Easter, and for them to come out our way for Thanksgiving.  It has worked out well.  It seems like every time we get together, it is getting easier, and more fun. 

Wednesday was a good day - we had lunch with my Aunt Sue, and then we checked in at BA.  We went for dinner at the British Bobby (interior decor was cool but the fish and chips didn't quite hit the expected mark), and then back for a campfire on the beach.  It took a few times to get it going, but it was awesome being on the beach, with a campfire, and having the first marshmellows of the season. I am not sure if we should have introduced s'mores... the boys have  a wee addiction to them now...

Thursday was amazing.  We did it all.  We started at Englishman River Falls and all of us went to the stunning upper falls.  C and I hiked around to the lower falls where K and B picked us up.  Compared to the unexpected beauty and bounty of the upper falls, the lower falls were a bit anticlimatic.  These falls floored me and literally brought a tear to my eye.  They are almost shaped like a wide horseshoe, and then they cascade in to a cut in the rock and then travel for about a 100 feet before they start to plunge down again.  There was a lot of mist in the air, everything was damp, and the trees reached up to the heavens.  It was one of those magical places that catch you off guard.

Next up, Little Qualicum Falls.  This time we started at the lower falls, and then C and I walked around to the upper falls.  It was really nice, but I think we were a little spoiled having been to Englishman River first.  At the upper falls, there was a memorial to a kid that had fallen in to the falls a few years ago - 17 years old.  This falls under a 'preventable' accident.. and we do talk to our boys about them.  There is something to be said about 'calculated' risks.  We had lunch in the parking lot - surrounded by forest, and the sounds of birds.

We hit the highway, followed the shores of Cameron Lake (reminds me of Crescent Lake in the Olympic Forest in WA) and then stopped at Cathedral Grove.  It has been a few years since we have stopped here, and it continues to be breathtaking.  Seeing the old growth trees, and touching them, and breathing in the rich, fertile soils, it puts things in perspective how tiny each of our individual lives are.  We accidentally did the "longer" walk... and all of it was great.  I think the kids really enjoyed it too - this is the important stuff for them to remember...

Then we hit Coombs for some snacks, and then to the Community Park near the beach in Parksville, and then back to BA for a swim and hot tub, and then out to Rathtrevor Beach for a walk (love it there...) saw a few eagles and had a up close and personal experience with a few deer, and then we hit Starbucks for some teas and hot chocolates and hit the community beach (reminded me of parking with my gran when we used to visit - we would get coffees and sit near the beach in later years) and then finally home.  It was an awesome day.

Then up the coast and back to Nanaimo for a great time with our family.  K got to go fishing with the boys on Saturday and the girls took the kids bowling and to the park.  We ended up having a crab feast at midnight, and we caught an early ferry home on Sunday.  All of it was good.  Great experiences, good food, our kids had a lot of fun together... K and I even got to have our coffees together on the beach alone on Friday morning... like our trip to Seattle last November... this was a much needed break and good time for us to be together.

Fulfilling a promise.

We tried sledge hockey tonight.

It was awesome.  Easier, and harder than what I had anticipated.  Both boys did great. I was proud that C didn't need to wait for us before he went out and tried it, and for B, because he was finally hitting the ice and learning what he could potentially do in the future on the ice, on his terms.

It was huge.

I can't wait to see where this will go.

And now for something a little darker...

Unapologetically, I really enjoyed this book.  After skimming some reviews in goodreads, this appears to be quite the polarizing book and folks either love it, or don't connect with it at all. There are few middle of the road responses to this.

I think what turns a few folks off is that it is compared as a coming of age novel, yet a bit darker, than Harry Potter or Narnia. This is a little bit true (as someone that is currently re-reading HP with their eldest) but doesn't quite knock the nail on the head.  This is something completely different - a little darker in the sense that not everything seems to work out as well, and that the characters are far from perfect and are not always all that likeable.

This was a surprisingly quick read - I had 250 pages to go on Friday and this is due at the library tomorrow.. I didn't quite see me finishing it time, but I did.  This is the kind of book that warns you to be careful about what you wish for, and what happens when we keep running from ourselves.  The magic that is learned in this book, isn't always done easily, and people pay a price for performing it.  Mistakes happen.  It can also been viewed as an academic pursuit, and it does delve in to what happens to magical families, or folks from non-magical families.  This also delves in to another world that was at first just a fantasy, but which the characters find themselves a part of in the second half of the novel.  This is a different coming of age novel, and I really enjoyed it for its differences.  It isn't quite as enchanting as HP, but then again, it doesn't have to be.  It is the first book of a trilogy, and I will continue to read them.  It feels like the last year has been all about literature and fantasy books.  This is one of the better ones.

Safe sox.

I think I am starting to get the hang of socks.  Years ago, I made a pair for B, and then a pair for C.. and then I abandoned making socks.  Then last fall, during Outlander, I made my BFF a pair of socks watching episodes.  Last fall, I made her socks, a scarf for my aunt, a hat and scarf for my mom, a hat for my dad, and I believe a few dishcloths.  Truly, you can never have enough handmade knitted dishcloths lying around.. I have discovered they make great teacher's gifts...

Now it is a new season, and it was time to pick up the needles again.  I made myself a pair of socks, and now it is C's turn.  These are his pair.  I used this sock recipe Ribbed Socks for Kids (Pattern by Susan B Anderson).  It is a great recipe.  Everything the kids pairs I made to begin with were not.  I made a sock a week! I have left them on the stair so when he comes down the stairs in the morning, he should be able to find them.  Now, I am on to making a pair for Brandon... There is truly something satisfying about sitting on the couch, watching a show, and creating a really cool pair of socks.

Profound.

Impressive.

Gaiman has an amazing world view.  Although I cannot say that I get through his novels at a speedy pace, they are really, really good and completely original.

How to describe this book? Part mythology, part character, part story, part redemption? To have been a fly on the wall when Gaiman and Pratchett were in to their cups telling stories would have been a truly magical thing.  I am sitting here wondering what to write about this book.  It is truly a different kind of fantasy book, one that raises some really interesting points along the way. Gaiman is truly brilliant, and I am reminded of writers like Christopher Moore in a way, where their intelligence catches you a bit off guard, and the stories are just so unique that you have to digest them before you can truly understand how they have impacted you.

Here a few random quotes to give you an impression of this book:

From chapter 10 (this one struck home a little having a few folks close to me enjoy gambling)

• There is a secret that the casinos possess, a secret they hold and guard and prize, the holiest of their mysteries. For most people do not gamble to win money, after all, although that is what is advertised, sold, claimed, and dreamed. But that is merely the easy lie that gets them through the enormous, ever-open, welcoming doors.
  The secret is this: people gamble to lose money. They come to the casinos for the moment in which they feel alive, to ride the spinning wheel and turn with the cards and lose themselves, with the coins, in the slots. They may brag about the nights they won, the money they took from the casino, but they treasure, secretly treasure, the times they lost. It's a sacrifice, of sorts.

From chapter 11 - this passage has stayed with me, and not just because the John Donne quote -

• No man, proclaimed Donne, is an Island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each other’s tragedies. We are insulated (a word that means, literally, remember, made into an island) from the tragedy of others, by our island nature, and by the repetitive shape and form of the stories. The shape does not change: there was a human being who was born, lived, and then, by some means or another, died. There. You may fill in the details from your own experience. As unoriginal as any other tale, as unique as any other life. Lives are snowflakes — forming patterns we have seen before, as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There’s not a chance you’d mistake one for another, after a minute’s close inspection), but still unique.

• Without individuals we see only numbers: a thousand dead, a hundred thousand dead, "casualties may rise to a million." With individual stories, the statistics become people — but even that is a lie, for the people continue to suffer in numbers that themselves are numbing and meaningless. Look, see the child’s swollen, swollen belly, and the flies that crawl at the corners of his eyes, his skeletal limbs: will it make it easier for you to know his name, his age, his dreams, his fears? To see him from the inside? And if it does, are we not doing a disservice to his sister, who lies in the searing dust beside him, a distorted, distended caricature of a human child? And there, if we feel for them, are they now more important to us than a thousand other children touched by the same famine, a thousand other young lives who will soon be food for the flies’ own myriad squirming children?
  We draw our lines around these moments of pain, and remain upon our islands, and they cannot hurt us. They are covered with a smooth, safe, nacreous layer to let them slip, pearllike, from our souls without real pain.
  Fiction allows us to slide into these other heads, these other places, and look out through other eyes. And then in the tale we stop before we die, or we die vicariously and unharmed, and in the world beyond the tale we turn the page or close the book, and we resume our lives.
  A life that is, like any other, unlike any other.

From chapter 18

• None of this can actually be happening. If it makes you more comfortable, you could simply think of it as metaphor. Religions are, by definition, metaphors, after all: God is a dream, a hope, a woman, an ironist, a father, a city, a house of many rooms, a watchmaker who left his prize chronometer in the desert, someone who loves you — even, perhaps, against all evidence, a celestial being whose only interest is to make sure your football team, army, business, or marriage thrives, prospers, and triumphs over all opposition.
  Religions are places to stand and look and act, vantage points from which to view the world.

• People believe, thought Shadow. It's what people do. They believe. And then they will not take responsibility for their beliefs; they conjure things, and do not trust the conjurations. People populate the darkness; with ghosts, with gods, with electrons, with tales. People imagine, and people believe: and it is that belief, that rock-solid belief, that makes things happen.

• "This is a bad land for gods," said Shadow. As an opening statement it wasn't Friends, Romans, countrymen, but it would do. "You've probably all learned that. The old gods are ignored. The new gods are as quickly taken up as they are abandoned, cast aside for the next big thing. Either you've been forgotten, or you're scared you're going to be rendered obsolete, or maybe you're just getting tired of existing on the whim of people."

• Shadow shook his head. "You know," he said, "I think I would rather be a man than a god. We don’t need anyone to believe in us. We just keep going anyhow. It’s what we do."

Move differently.

Happy St. Patrick's day!  I suspect that there may just be a Guinness in my future later on. 

Well, that was my portion of Spring Break and now I am back to warming my desk chair again.  I made the mistake of checking my email from home last week and found out I made a few mistakes.  I truly learned (again, most likely) that I have hard time making mistakes. I really don't want to make mistakes.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and it was we overlook that causes the mistakes, or the things we make assumptions about. There is a process of accepting a mistake, and being able to discuss it objectively, and then being able to learn and move on from it.  I guess I am lucky that it happened when I was off so I have time to process and reflect upon what happened before I get to discuss them in depth.  They weren't huge mistakes, just stuff I need to be called on.  I think a year ago I would have been more hostile about it, and now I am more open to the moulding that is happening - it does make me a better career person, if I chose to listen to these lessons.

The other piece I am trying to train my brain to spend some time on, is what do I need from my manager?  Honestly.  Not just throwing something out there and running away from it or being afraid of hurting someone's feeling, but actually talking about what my needs are, what I need to move forward.  It is a process, and one I think we need to get there together.  Work relationships do require effort if you want to go anywhere.

I also realized that sometimes I hold on to negative feelings.  I can also be judgemental at times.  I say this because I think at times I am nervous of being judged and not being found worthy.  I think that is why I am usually trying to be busy, or productive, or being able to demonstrate the things I can do or have done.  So crazy. 

I spoke to a friend about some of the stuff floating through my, and she made the comment that sometimes we need to "move differently".  This thought really resonated with me.  It isn't always about what is or isn't working, it is perhaps about what you can do differently, or even think a different thought about, even take a look at an issue from a new angle.  So that is what I am going to try to do, move a little differently.  Where I am at, is okay.  There are things I would like to change.  I am reading more, I am knitting again, I hope our money is getting back under control, and the kids seem to be doing alright.  I want more exercise for all of us, and I do really want to lose some weight. I am feeling a bit self conscious, even if my weight hasn't really changed in years. This is something I want to change.  I want to have 30 minutes a day where I spend on physical activity outside of walking on my lunch.  If I can involve my family, even better.  So this is part of how I want to move differently. I have thought about crafting a 30 day challenge for myself, so I have something measureable, so I can prove to myself it helped.  I seem to need those measurable goals to help achieve. I do like cataloging, and being able to see results (hence this blog, even if all I have done in the past few years is track my books... it has helped me).

It also helps to use this space as a space to let my thoughts spin out, and curl in to their own patterns. Even if I don't spend a lot of time re-reading posts (although I have been known to go back and look to see where my head space was at), for me, the process of thinking these thoughts and then articulating them is huge.  It is like that for me with writing process manuals.  Once they are done, aside from revisions, I don't really go back to them much unless there has been a big break of time in between times that I have done it.

I am also putting it out there to the universe that camping for the May Long weekend would be a glorious thing, and I have some ideas of where to go.  You can't reserve where I want to go, and it is within 3 hours away.  We shall see.

Good entry in to the series...

Hello, old friend.  It feels like it has been years since I have read a Heironymous Bosch novel.  I have missed you.  These are great novels.  Maybe because it has been so long since I have read one from this series, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I like that Bosch has aged and moved throughout his career, I am just sad that because of this, it means that one day, Connelly may have to dedicate his time to other characters... (which frankly isn't so terrible).  It is funny how we become attached to certain characters, and we want to know what happens to them next, even if it is just a fiction.  This was a solid novel, and introduced a new partner for Bosch - a fiesty woman with a bit of a storied past.  I enjoyed the banter, and I found as turned the last pages, I had to laugh that Bosch was in trouble again with his superiors, and that the cliffhanger had me checking Connelly's website to make sure that there would be more Bosch in the future.  If you like crime series, this is great.  I lilke that Bosch is a noble, yet flawed bad boy of a character.  He is far from perfect, but his intentions are good.

Spring Break is almost gone! This week off has not really felt like a week off.  Sure, it has been productive, and I feel like we accomplished stuff, but I can't say we did anything spectacular or memorable.  We did get a lot of errands done, spent some time with family, C played his first hockey games and we wound up his season, I read some books, finished off Season One of GOT (who knew, I like it), and I have started knitting a pair of socks for C.  Surprisingly enough - I think that I can finish off a pair of socks for him in about two weeks... then I can make B a pair.  Both have been hankering for new pairs.  Now that I have made 4 pairs, I have a lot more confidence about what I am doing.  I look back a few years when I was making my first pairs, and it was intimidating.  I made a few dishclothes, and I found the cotton felt strange because it was so  much heavier than sock yarn! Even if we both cover a week of SB next year, I think we will need to figure out a weekend trip between the 4 of us.. not going away during a break doesn't really make it feel like much of a break.  I could also whine about that SB does not really need to be 2 weeks long... it feels like the kids are out of school for TOO LONG.  Speaking of great intentions, I had intended to do more work on writing, and math, and letters, and look.. our time is almost done.  Ah well.. put it on the list....

 

Before, and after.

Ok. I admit it.  There are some authors that I find, and I can't wait until they release their next book. There are so many different reasons to enjoy authors - some are pure escape and almost a guilty pleasure (like Nora Roberts), some are well crafted novels of a different genre (crime novelists like Peter Robinson and Michael Connelly), some chick lit (like SAA), some fantasy, some YA, some big "L" literary novels that help keep me sharp.  A good book transports us somewhere, teaches us something, makes us laugh, cry, release emotion, rethink or have a new thought. 

Ever since I read Garden Spells, I have really enjoyed SAA books.  A little bit of magical realism, some great characters, some quirkiness.  They are quick reads, and after I turn the last page, I always seem to have a whimsical smile on my face.  This latest book was no different.  Of course, now that I have read it, I have no idea how long I will need to wait until she releases her next novel. Oddly enough, my favourite authors also have their own lives to lead, and not just to entertain their fans.

This was a good book - this continued the story of the Waverly sisters (from Garden Spells) and we catch up with them several years after the first book… in the weeks leading up to the 'first frost'.  For the sisters and their kin, this is a time of transition - from summer to fall, harvest, waiting for things to happen, waiting for Halloween and then next phases.  It is a time of anticipation, and heightened senses and tensions, and a time for confrontations that hopefully lead to communication.  Very quick read, perfect for Spring Break.  The biggest problem of taking popular books out from the library is the quick turnaround time… American Gods has been bumped for a week.

One quote really struck me from this novel - that moment in your life where there is a "before" and where there is "after". In this novel, part of that happens when the first frost happens.  I would need to leaf through the book to find the exact quote (which I may add later on, no promises though since I loaned the book to my mom on a quick turnaround promise before it is due).

For me, I can think of several turning points in my life.  This idea has stayed with me since I finished this book because it did capture an idea that I have returned to a few times in the last several years.  Having kids definitely changes you, in mostly positive ways. I am definitely a less selfish person than I was, hopefully more rounded, although definitely not less busy.  When I think about before, and after, now I think about Ken and I standing on the line heading in the OR at Children's Hospital, the night that B had his operation to manage hydrocephalus.  We handed him over to our neurosurgeon, it was about 11:00pm, he had a large "x" sharpied on his left side (that was where they would place the shunt), and we were both terrified for our son.   This was truly the moment "before" and "after" for me.  So many things in my life led up to that moment, and so much has happened since.  I am still the same person, but in so many ways, I am not quite the same person I was.  I still value so many of the same things, but moments like that change you and leave their mark.  I am so grateful for the outcomes we have had, for the strength of the bond that I have with my husband, and for my two, happy and healthy children.  This was a moment, where there was the life we knew, and the life we would know.  There have been a few moments like that for me, and for us as a couple, and that is the power of literature to help you remember, and to help articulate some of these moments, even if the language and circumstances are different, to capture part of the feeling and the impact.

End of the latest Roberts trilogy...

It is a returning theme in my life to jest that it is either Friday or Monday… and it never seems to be any of the days in between because time seems to move so quickly.

I am glad that I borrowed all three books at the same time, and could get through them pretty much in one go.  It would irk me waiting for each one to come out since it is easy to drop the thread as you get distracted from other business.

With the first two books, I was really feeling like I had read this trilogy under a different title - having read so many NR books (and she is able to crank out so many a year) there is a bit of a feeling to her books.  I do like the themes, I like the characters, and as I have mentioned, they are feel good novels that resolve with happy endings.  Some times we all need to read a happy ending and enjoy the escape these kinds of novels bring.

Likely I should have tried to summarize this novel before I was distracted by life and a few more books that I have read since finishing this one and working a little magic of my own with the published dates of these blog entries.  I like the magical element, it does bring the book to a climax, I thought it may have involve the abby in the finale (and it didn't) and all sorts out as it should.  Was it an amazing book? Nope, but it was enjoyable, especially when you have an idea of what you are signing up for. There are always some great moments, and this book reminded that I would like to travel to Ireland again one day - I want to knit myself an Irish sweater (and maybe order a new one and get it shipped - one of the 2 I bought in 1995 finally gave up the ghost and I had to throw it out - it got full of holes, quickly, it was heart breaking.. the two sweaters I bought in Ireland were the most money I think I had ever spend on myself for clothes… I still don't spend a lot… although am more willing to spend more for an article of clothing that is meant to last… considering I got almost 20 years out of my $100 sweater, pretty sweet.  The other one is still going strong… although as mentioned, I would like another one since I have had this one for a few years, go figure). There was also lots of mentions of good food, good beer, and good times in the kitchen.

The middle novel.

A fast speedy read, and oddly enough, I chose to review this one after book 3 (yes, revisionist history with my dates to keep the books I have read in chronological order on my blog).

I am sitting here staring at this white space trying to think of something profound to say about this novel, and failing.  These books are good at the end of the day, but they don't always strike deep.  They are truly more escapist, and about the happy ending more than me learning something new (whether or not it is about myself).

I could blame the music in the background - I am going to watch Episode 6 of the first season of Game of Thrones when I finish this… which is a little more provocative than this series is… What I could say is that it feels like I am shifting in to a different head space again - a little more clear, a little  more able to think and be in the moment than the past few years.  It has been stressful.  Lots of learning, and lots of worrying.  Lots of personal growth.  I think this is the part of my life where I have become a woman, and a mom.  Not just a worker, transitioning in to more of a leadership role and being comfortable in it. At times, I wish for perhaps a little more advise, or words spoken, or more time to reflect.. which given how many more words I am blogging in 2015, may be a sign that I am starting to take that reflection time a little more seriously. So, the series, yah, interesting enough.  Still makes me want to go Ireland, go to the pub with my man, hoist a guinness, go for a horseback ride, maybe falcon, immerse myself in fields of green and misty showers.

Yet another take on the "other" voice

Another completely different book. I do believe that sometimes the right books fall in to our lap at the right time.

This novel has a pretty good twist in it, so I won't give a lot of the plot details just because it is nice to be surprised when it comes.

I really enjoyed this book.  This is book that proclaims to start in the middle, uses a fair bit of psychology and remembered truths, and weaves in and out of past, present, and future.

Since I am presenting to B's class about what it is like to have CP, it is interesting to read these two books back to back.  Especially since both deal a fair bit of personality traits, and a fair bit of same and other.  It also makes me appreciate that in life you can never read enough, or ask enough questions.  Having an open, curious mind is one of the best qualities any of us can have.  Well worth a read, a completely different kind of book.  I had meant to write this entry with the book in hand so I could add in some quotes, but alas, life moves on.

A different voice...

What an unexpected joy!

 

I turned the last page night, and I had to flip around the book for more! I had no idea what to expect from this book, except that it was popular and I had picked up the second book (The Rosie Effect) and started to thumb my way through it when I quickly realized that I should read the first book, first.

 

It is a quick, enjoyable, crisply written novel.  Although never expressly revealed, the protagonist likely has Asperger's syndrome and is quite high functioning.  Don has a refreshing voice, and there are some lovely character reveals along the way.  It is funny, and light-hearted, and at times, a little more serious.  Well worth a read.  I am not sure when I will read the next book - I think that Don would get old if you read too much of him all at once, however, don't take that as a detraction of this novel.

 

Speaking of Autism... I have read a few books now that deal with Autism... and it seems that the face of Autism we are getting through literature are those that could be diagnosed with Asperger syndrome (high functioning, highly intelligent, emotionally detached, etc) in books such as "Look me in the Eye" (another good book) or "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night" (didn't leave a huge impression for me).  Autism is a spectrum, and the kids I have interacted with that have autism are a different breed again from the portrait being portrayed in these novels.  I couldn't imagine the challenges for parents with low functioning autistic kids.  Like anything, you get used to your 'new normal', but the rewards are so different.  Communication would be so tough - especially with non-verbal or violent kids.  You would question so much of yourself as a parent, it is a tough road to walk.  I am learning interesting lessons in my own journey.  Having a son with a gross motor disability isn't always easy and our journey is different than that of other parents.  I am struggling a bit with the part that we participate in "teachable moments" to help people understand his type of cerebral palsy and why he walks different or why his balance is off, and that there are 3-4 other kids in his class with behavioural disabilities and it never gets spoken about.  In the classroom, these kids have EAs, but no one ever explains to the other kids why they hit, or run away out of the classroom, or why these kids get time in a "sensory room" and they don't. For me, there is a bit of a disconnect, especially even for younger kids, who frankly don't have the language or the experience to understand why they can't do all the things that these kids can (such as in a kindergarten classroom).  Yes, the other kids are accepting of these kids (they don't have a choice), however, they aren't also being given a lot of tools to understand rather than just "tolerate" the other kids and how their behaviours may or may not impact their own day.

 

I am developing some of my own personal theories about all of this - behavioural or psychological disabilities are in your face, and these people are a problem as a result.  They are hard to ignore, and can often be a safety concern.  A kid like my son, he may fall in to you, or get tired, or not move as fast, but otherwise he is easy to blend in. There is a lot of intervention therapy for autism, but for kids like my son that are high functioning gross motor, there isn't. With two working parents, and a kid that is a rock star, there is limited help, financially or otherwise.  There is such irony, it can choke a person at times.  For my son, the more physical interventions we do, they better his whole life path will be and the less interventions that will need to take place when he is older... but the supports just aren't there unless you can't feed, cloth, or bath yourself.  My son is part of a quiet group that isn't fully understood, well researched, or properly funded. I am not sure how best to voice this, and for now, I do take those teachable moments when they work out in his classrooms. I ask questions whenever I can, and I try to pull out whatever information I can to assist us. It has not been easy, and our greatest supports have been grassroots, and limited and more from the communities we have created or touch upon.

Interesting premise.. just not the first go around

Reading a Nora Roberts book for me is like visiting an old friend. I started reading her books when I was a teenager and she was still writing for Harlequin romance.  You could tell back then that she was going to be a writing star.  I like her books, they normally come to a satisfactory end, and they provide escapism and lovely storylines that are a little light on depth.  I like the stories about Ireland, or about Irish descendants (being one myself), and the bits of earth magic she weaves through her stories. I find that I enjoy books like that - that push certain boundaries a little and do believe in hope, and magick, and things that we cannot always see and understand.  I do not read her J.D. Robb books anymore, and I don't always seek out the stand alones either.  That she has been able to write over 200 books is staggering.  There are reasons why she is popular, and she is a go-to author in a sense, but there is a time and a place.

I enjoyed this book more in the beginning rather than the end. I will read the trilogy (helps that my mom got it for Christmas), and it is enjoyable fluff in my books.  However, this trilogy reminds me of another trilogy she wrote - slightly different window dressing, but the same basic framework. So I read these novels for the predictable, warm-hearted, slightly mystical escape that they are and don't go much further than that. 

Can you summarize such a novel with a snappy title?

Finished.  This was a far quicker read than Mr. Norrell, which continues to sit next to my bed.

It has been a while since I have felt the urge to underline quotes in a novel. There are some truly profound moments in this novel. How does one go about summarizing a novel such as this? It did leave a mark on me.  It is an often brutal and prosaic novel that has been skillfully crafted.  It is engaging, right from the beginning.  I remember my own friend that had a smile that would light up rooms.  This is a story about love, and hate, and survival.  It is a story about forgiveness, and a story about hope.  In short, a true epic novel.

With works of art, it is interesting to learn a bit about the artist, and GDR truly comes off as quite the articulate character.  I think sitting around at a Leopolds and listening to the stories would be an unforgettable experience.  This was a totally different tale about Mumbai/Bombay and it did sweep me away.  I didn't expect there to be so many foreigners here, or to have the beauty of the slums revealed.  There were several times that I had to pause and reread some passages.  There were some elements of this book that I enjoyed more than others, and I think that this story ended as it should, coming in a full circle in a sense.

This was an interesting quote -

"Sooner of later, fate puts us together with all the people, one by one, who show us what we could, and shouldn't let ourselves become." (p. 471)

What a closing speech!

"For this is what we do.  Put one foot forward and then the other.  Lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world once more.  Think.  Act.  Feel.  Add our little consequence to the tides of good and evil that flood and drain the world.  Drag our shadowed crossed into the hope of another night. Push our brave hearts into the promise of a new day.  With love:  the passionate search for a truth other than our own.  With longing:  the pure, ineffable yearning to be saved.  For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on.  God help us.  God forgive us.  We live on." (p.933)

Lin was an imperfect hero - flawed, but loving.  He fell, was picked back up, and found the ability to carry on.  He carried his past as much as he chose not to speak of it very often.

I can't say this book is for everyone.  I know that my book club loved the beginning and lost there way with the parts about the Afghanistan war... I found that this was a profound novel, and at times I grouched about the length, but I was entertained, I did learn along the way, and perhaps my perspective also shifted a bit.  So, taking all of that in to consideration, for me, a great read.

Epic Novels.

When I finish Shantaram, I think I will stay away from epic novels for a while.

Last Septemberish, I started to read "Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell." It is a 1000+ page epic novel. The following is from the wikipedia entry about this book -

An alternative history set in 19th-century England around the time of the Napoleonic Wars, it is based on the premise that magic once existed in England and has returned with two men: Gilbert Norrell and Jonathan Strange. Centring on the relationship between these two men, the novel investigates the nature of "Englishness" and the boundaries between reason and unreason, Anglo-Saxon and Anglo-Dane, and Northern and Southern English cultural tropes/stereotypes. It has been described as a fantasy novel, an alternative history, and a historical novel. It inverts the Industrial Revolution conception of the North/South divide in England: in this book the North is romantic and magical, rather than rational and concrete. It can be usefully compared and contrasted with Elizabeth Gaskell's attempts at synthesising a unitary English identity in her fiction.

I got through about 320 pages. It is still sitting on my side table, waiting to be finished.  I am not sure if I will.  It is a grand novel.  It is well written.  It has footnotes that drive me mental.  It is a slow, carefully written novel that is at once really interesting, and then I meander off.  It is still sitting there, six months later, and every time I pick it up to read it, another book that I really want to read comes in from the library and I get distracted. Frankly, any other book that comes along is proving to be a distraction from this book.

Then there were a few novels I did manage to finish before Christmas, and I more or less hit my hopeful to read 50 books last year. I am sure I would have blown past that amount if it wasn't for this novel.  As I said, it isn't terrible, I just can't seem to find it in me to finish or give it back to the person that I borrowed it from.  *SIGH*.

As I mentioned, currently I am reading Shantaram, another epic novel clocking in at 930 pages, give or take.  It is moving along quicker... I am just about 500 pages in, and it has taken me just over two weeks to get here.  So, definitely a quicker read than Mr. Norrell.... but I am finding "epic novels" a bit of a deterrent right now. I am starting to crave the satisfaction of reading a few shorter novels, just to feel like I am "accomplishing" something when it comes to reading.  It feels kind of silly to put it that way, and yet that is kind of how it feels.  In the last six months, I really haven't read all that much, and yet, in some ways I have.  Between Norrell, Good Omens, and now Shantaram... it does feel like I stalled out.  Even in my book club we are trolling for inspiration.  If you are reading this - any novels that inspired you? We will likely look to some classics, but I am definitely open to so some new reads.  Out of what I did read last year... there weren't that many stand outs that I would shout the praise from about...

Maybe it is time to do things a little different...

It has been a good weekend.  The hours definitely went way too quickly, but isn't that always the way?

I have no regrets about starting C out in Hockey 1 this year.  It has truly been a journey in so many different ways.  It hasn't always been easy.  It has been about building his confidence, being consistent with a message of how to play, and how not to play, about curbing his tendencies to to try bring down other players to make up for his burgeoning skills, about dealing with coaches, about starting to get to know other parents, about the whole culture, and about being working parents who can't make every practise, even at this age.  I think this will be good for him - it has already been good for him.  This Friday night was their 'timbit' hockey night and they got to play in the first intermission of the RM Flames. It was a bit of a trip - a guy I went to elementary/high school kid is on the junior team, and my youngest is out there as a timbit - it goes to speak we all get to where ever "there" is on our own time - I  digress - you could see a spark being lit, and a little more understanding… it will be interesting to see how the rest of the year goes, and how much more he develops.  I am going to take an hour off every friday afternoon to get him to practise, almost on time.  It is a sprint for me - but I have learned that the games start now, and if I don't really want him to fall behind (yes already), take advantage of the ice time we do have.

I also got to see some of my old, dear friends for brunch on Saturday.  It was great.  It humbles me this choice to move back here, that it was the best decision for Ken and I, and our family.  In ways I never would have envisioned three years ago. Our lives are better. It feels as the weeks slip by, we are slowly becoming more and more a part of this community, and it seems that my older friends are becoming a part of our future.  Amazing.

Took B to riding - and he is doing well.  Four trots this session, and I was happy to discover one of his lead walkers is a farrier.  How cool is that?  She is a very cool woman.  B is in good hands and it is breathtaking to see him on the horse, gaining confidence, becoming a different version of himself.

Then I got out to a movie with my BFF.  We sawAmerican Sniper. It was a powerful movie. Makes me want to call one of my other oldest and dearest and just tell her and her hubby they rock, and are loved, and just a little more understanding and appreciation for the bond that they have forged.  Great night.  There is nothing in the world like your oldest friends that knew you when you were young. We should all be so lucky.

Today has also been a good day - who needs to relax, right?  B had physio this morning, and then we sent her out with hubby and watched their 8 month old.  It was great. He is a really happy kid, and it was a real pleasure.  Then a wee bit of shopping, drop B's adapted bike off for a service (and the shop is owned by an old friend from high school), dropped books at the library, and then home.  C and I cleaned up some yard waste, broke down some old, rotting bifold doors (garbage guy is going to love me for the next few weeks), and then went for a walk.  Then dinner.  Then baths.  Then books.  Then laundry. Dishes, and making a dessert for tomorrow night and for lunches for the week. Called my mom.  Catching up here and rambling on.  My earl grey tea is getting cold.  Speaking of which, it does have to be Twinings Earl grey.  It truly does make a difference. I am that picky.  I like my coffee really hot and strong with a crop dusting of cream, and I like me my Twinings E.G.. Persnickety in my 40s am I.

So back to the post title.  Speaking of seeing the BFF.  It helps to have known each other through so many tempests, trials, and tribulations.  Last week was a great success around the house. Partly because I was consciously trying to do it differently.  I am trying to make shifts in my own behaviours to start changing some outcomes.  We were talking about our different challenges, and the comment about this particular topic, and it was about doing it differently this year, or time around.  I had to agree.  It has been on my mind too.  You don't change cycles or pattens of behaviour without effort.  It feels like I am returning to a place in my life where I can be more aware, and make some shifts, and start to talk about it again. Although "it" could truly mean money, my weight, balancing priorities, making myself count, making time for Ken, making time for friends, different experiences with the kids - allowing them to have experiences with their friends… I guess in some ways allowing my and our world to start to grow a bit again.  It feels like coming through something, and I think part of the next steps involve doing things a little differently - maybe looking at the same problem from a different angle, or place, or voice. It does make you stop and think.

This week I would love to get another 150 pages of Shantaram read - I think I have had it about 10 days and have managed to make it through 212 pages so far.  It has caught me off guard.  I didn't expect to like it, and I am loving it.  It is nearly a 1000 pages long, and I think it will take me about 3-4 weeks to finish.  Talk about a book that is worth the money and the time you spend on it.

I also want to finish off the pair of socks that I am making myself before the Superbowl game.

I want to get in three walks at work, and leave at 3:30pm on Friday again, as planned.

I want to have calm mornings, and keep up a not so crazy house this week.

I want B to make both karate, and C to make both of his hockey practises, and at least one walk/bike ride over the weekend.

I hope to get the kitchen floor swept, and the bathrooms cleaned, and laundry put away before I go to work tomorrow.  Although once you stop for a few minutes, it is hard to get motivation flowing again.  We shall see how this week pans out.

Consistent.

I must say, still liking my library card.  For DVDs too!!

New release, grabbed from the 7 day shelf… read like a demon for a week.  Great book.  Robinson is one of my favourite "go to" writers, especially when I am in the mood for a police procedural.  I like what is happening with the characters, and this was a gripping mystery.  I have read this series completely out of order, and it really doesn't seem to matter.  It does have staying power, and I am excited to see what is next for Inspector Banks…

Semester is off to a fine start.  Today was one of the first days in way too long that I felt like I had accomplished 'enough'.  That tomorrow I will be able to chip away at projects, and keep getting things better organized, and start feeling like I move closer to the front of the ball rather than being chased down and flattened by it.  The last few years have really been something else. It is also helping that I am getting out for walks again.  I am aiming for 3-4 a week, and the hill portion of my walk is getting easier. It helps.  It helps not feeling so crazy stressed out at the end of my day as well.

This has been a better week. I am trying to do mornings different, and trying not to arrive at places in such a mad panic.  When things start to go pear shaped around here, I am trying to put the brakes on a little better and just stopping the cycle.  It has helped.  There have been a few moments, but overall, improvements.  It is so much about routines and rituals - truly, the working mom's mantra.

Cranky old ladies

Maybe if I hadn't read about that crazy old Swedish guy that climbed out of his window and left the old folks home.. this would have been a little more of an  unique read.

It was slightly entertaining... a good way to pass a few hours.  What it did bring to mind is that I have read a few books in the last year that are trying to redefine aging in a sense.  What does it mean to be "old"? Especially in terms of how we treat and view our old folks.  It raises some interesting questions about aging, our old folks homes, why they tend to get fed bland foods, and other assumptions that get made about our white haired population.

It is intriguing. I had one gramma that was old before her time. My other gran was cool up until the final years when she was well in to her 90s and her marbles were starting to scatter. It also makes you think about your own choices, and how you choose to age, and what pursuits you want to chase in your "golden years".  I want my obituary to read that I went "kicking and screaming from this life" and not that I "went quietly and peacefully in to my final slumber".... I would want to be that gramma that breaks some rules, or that old guy that says enough of this life in a home where everyone thinks you are stupid just because you are old.  Gets you thinking.  I think there is some merit in joining up with like minded folks at a certain age, getting a house together, and hiring some help... the "homes" really don't look all that appealing... or who knows... making a plan with your kids about what happens next... what can work for families working together in a true sense.  Makes you wonder some days...

So this was like beach fluff.  Entertaining, not all that earth shattering, some nice coincidences to bring it all together.

Penguin Plunge 2015!

I must admit to a little humming and hawing, but I took a good look around this morning, and I realized that conditions were perfect. It was time to do a polar bear swim again.  A few degrees about zero, pretty much sunny skies, and a morning with no agenda.  Of course, the decision was made a little late which ruled out White Rock (they run in the water at high noon)... so Port Moody it was!

It was great.  I wore my Team Canada jersey and the helmet hat that I have in... wore my flip flops and brought along my pink robe (it is all about the robe when you get out of the water).   My boys hung out around the bonfire, and waited for me after the run down the boat ramp, the plunge, and then the swagger back.  I got a new pin! I think there was only one year I didn't get a pin.. I am starting to get a collection now (3 from English Bay, 2 from Deep Cove, and 2 from Port Moody)... I think that since 2000 we have done it 8 times??? I think I will be resurrecting this practice..  It did feel like I washed away 2014, and it was a great way to face this new year.  That being said, I have learned that drinking many year old sambucca that was in a  stainless steel flask that sealed shut from the sugar likely isn't the best call.  Next year I will purchase some fireball for this purpose, and we will try out somewhere new, just to keep it interesting.

Cheers to a New Year, hopefully some new experiences, and some great times with friends and family, and maybe even paying attention to my physical health again!!!

Starting off a year in review..

In many ways, having this blog is like a quick reference of some of things that happened over the year. A quick check in to parts of my mental state.  This has been yet another speedy year.  It feels like the past two years have been intense - filled with many little shifts and a lot of learning.

I think it is funny that although I try to sit down and blog more to track these thoughts of mine, the past three years I am hitting about the same amount of posts - just over 60.  Considering that this is the most I have read in the past decade (50 books, ye-hah!), most of my yearly posts have been about the books that I have been reading.  I will admit, you can track a certain piece of me through the books that I have been choosing, and how my tastes have been evolving over time.  Best thing about this year when it came to books was my library card.  It has saved me hundreds of dollars and exposed me to books I would have never discovered on my own (like We, the Drowned or the Golem and the Jinni).

I was starting to improve with my jogging this year - I got new running shoes at the end of 2013 and we bought an elliptical in April… and then I promptly stopped jogging altogether.  This coincided with me going back to my old job, which didn't last as long as I expected, but led me in to wearing way too many hats at works until the last few weeks.  I will admit to hitting a bit of a burn out somewhere along the way, but I think I also learned a lot about myself, about leadership, and grew up a lot in that timeframe as well.  I need to get more in touch with my physical self again.  I am really missing it, and I think I am feeling a certain level of frustration as a result.  I have told my boss I need to take about a 35 minute lunch every day since that is how long the walk I like to do takes.  I have to make it not negotiable again - it is good for my soul and makes my work days so much more palatable.

We camped a little.  I love camping and getting out there and seeing new things with my family, and we need to do it more. This seemed to be the year of high daycare costs and lots of car related expenses. It felt a bit like a step forward, and then a few to the side.

This has been a great Christmas season.  Overall, things have gone well - I have cooked a lot, and cleaned a lot. I am tired.  I am grateful for this time off because it just gives me more time to be.  I stayed in my jammies all day yesterday and I went through some paperwork and the kids artwork.  It is amazing how fast things accumulate when all you do is the stuff you can see in the middle and you lead the edges for later.

I was so proud of what B accomplished with karate… and so proud of how far C has come in hockey.  Hockey has been far more rewarding than baseball (no matter how well run the baseball was).  A lot of emotional energy went in to the changes from our old elementary school/daycare to our new settings.  It has been great.  It has worked out so much better for all of us. I am also grateful I am done with the childcare board - it was an amazing finish and I got a standing O!!   I am proud of my hubby - how much he worked over the last month because it is demanding for him at this time of the year.  December is wonderful and trying all at the same time.  Next year I need to plan out this time of the year better… I do want to do Christmas cards again, and targeting baking, and to have gifts done early to enjoy more of the little moments in the month.

This is a start.  Lets see if I take more time in the next week to expand on this.

What do I want for 2015?

Every year I could say I could lose weight. It sort of seems to happen, and then I end up about the same weight by the end of the year - up or down about pounds from the same starting weight.  I think this year I will say I want to be 15 pounds less than I am today.  I suspect what I am about now… and I can achieve this with better attention to exercise.  I need to remember to stretch, since I think this is part of what did me in.  Now that I am not a spring chicken, I need to exercise.

I want to continue knitting - this year felt good. I made 3 baby blankets, a pair of socks, a hat and a scarf, another viking hat, and a bunch of washcloths… it was satisfying work.  I really want to make myself the "St. Brigid" sweater by Alice Starmore.  This is a huge undertaking, and I think I would be happy to even get a start on it.  I expect the wool for this to cost about $125-$150 since I want to buy a quality product since I expect to wear this sweater when completed for years to come.  I also want to make myself a pair of socks, and a few things for the rest of my family..

Manage our finances better.  Overall, 2014 was easier/better than 2013 although it still had it's dodgy moments.  I am hoping to keep a better budget this next year, and I really would love to see us take our family to Disneyland in the Fall and for Ken and I to have a weekend away somewhere without the kids.  Love them, but it would be great for us to have a little slice of time to do something different together.  I want to get out camping more this summer too.

I could also tie in helping keep my family healthier.  B to keep up with riding, skating, and karate again.  I am thinking of hockey and lacrosse for C.  I want them both to be in swimming lessons at some point.  More walking/jogging for me and some bike riding for them.  More active than we have been.  More family hikes on the weekends.

Themes - I want to stay a little more organized and on top of things.  Letting the walks go, and the jogging, and my budget at times, comes down to stress management at times, and self management.  I need to set better boundaries so I can achieve what I need to, and feel like I am back in the driver's seat.

Time like this, to sit and reflect.  These kinds of posts are like thinking on my feet - I am not sure where I am going to arrive a good portion of that is the journey, and taking out ideas and trying them out and seeing if they fit how I want them too.

To get to the island a few times and enjoy our family over there and to see perhaps some whale watching? hot springs cove? even to camp or see some new parts… even to go back to NewCastle island… this time of the year is good to reflect upon what was, and to throw out ideas for the next year. Set expectations, utter aloud a few goals and dreams, even if they may change along the way.

Milestone achieved, 50 books for 2014.

I started this book at the beginning of December, and although it took time to digest, this was a very profound novel.  This is the story of the sea, of the Danish city of Marstal, and of 150 years of history and the lives the sea has claimed in one form or another.

It starts with days of the great sailing ships, and ends with the closing of World War II.  I don't think that I have ever read a book quite like this one before.  It seems to have been a year of finding books such as this.

I turned the last page, and I will admit to a few tears leaking out, likely just because.  This was a surprising novel - truly epic. I am searching for the right word - one that will take it's rightful place among the best of seafaring literature… Several stories are woven together throughout this book, and some are more compelling than others.  It is quite fascinating as one life merges with the next, and how our lives can be interwoven.  A story of courage, and disaster, love, and the depths of the human soul.  Definitely not a summer read, and well worth the time spent meandering through these pages and on the journey.  Makes me wish I knew more about my Swedish ancestors - some of the names seem familiar (like Gunnars, and Eriks, and Einars) and being close to the sea… it also made me appreciate in a different way the silence from our relatives about WWI and WWII and why there was a darkness in their lives they didn't speak of.   Makes me appreciate novels like this even more - to have a lens in to a part of history that is unspeakable.

My Christmas Boys 2014