All packed, no where to go ... yet!

I had strange dreams last night - many of which involved me being aware on some level that my water was breaking and maybe now it was time to have this baby, and then waking up to ... nothing. Just a sore hip and time to make my next flip over to my other hip. Or a bio-break, seeing as those happen every few hours as well!

With Brandon, I fully expected to go late - this time, I think I was a lot more skeptical about whether or not I would hit 40 weeks... Seeing as that is Monday, it is looking more and more like a reality. We are all getting a little impatient... we are ready to meet our new baby!! Boy or girl, what do you look like??? Who are you??? Or as ready as you ever are... I know I kept saying that the Solstice would be nice, but it seemed liked such a long shot, and frankly, that's SUNDAY!

Yesterday I kept Brandon home and Ken got off work early so it felt like a day where we played hookey - I got a new vacuum (and it rocks, it is amazing how having a good vacuum that truly cleans your carpets can be a big deal, but it is. Kazzicus Domesticus strikes again) and we brought Ken's mom lunch (she is back at home). She looks and feels awesome,albeit a little tired - hard to believe she ended up going through not one but two angiograms/angioplasty procedures. She feels better too, which is a big relief. Of course, now we tease each other that she made it to the hospital first, and well, we are still waiting. Make for interesting times.

Today - I have finally cracked open World With0ut End by Ken F0llett... It has been a few years since I read Pillars of the Earth, but the two novels are only loosely linked... Although I may be interrupted reading this book... (800 plus pages) I figure it will keep me going for a while... I am half at a lull of what to read... my book club is meeting early next week but I didn't know what they were reading until a few days ago and my copy of the book is en route, and well, the chances of me being not available early next week are high, so I will just read the book club book and hold my opinions for later (we are going to read The Book of Negroes)

The June Ritual

Since today isn't going to be the day, it is time to make some strawberry jam!

We headed to the valley to buy some fresh berries, direct from the farm, and although it would have been cool to have done the u-pick option, this was not the year. Even though the farm hadn't had it's official season opening, the line up was 10 deep the whole time we were there - it was surprising how many people were out to get their berries... Bought a 15 pound flat (mostly for us, some for my folks) and home we were bound. Ken and I made 4 batches of jam, I prefer the 500 ml size jars to each batch only made about 4 jars...

Just lovely. Amazing how much better the local berries taste - even if they are not as big and perfect and somewhat harder like the Californians are. Up to our elbows in strawberries and then made some angel food cake for fresh berries and ice cream tonight.. YUMMY!

Counting Days

It helps that this blog has been around for a few days.. I can look back at what I packed for the hospital last time, and the advice I got from some lovely ladies, and make sure that I am on track this time... I guess I am about where I was last time, it was about a week before my due date that I actually put together my hospital bag... after yesterday's appointment I figured that it was probably time to get a few things together - I think all I need to add is my nursing tank top and my slippers and I have it nailed. Simple stuff, not too much.

I think it will happen sometime over the weekend.

I have a harder time this time around seeing that bubs will stick around until 41 weeks..

I feel more ready that I did last week - I have done my puttering, there is food in the house, there are a few last minute bits and pieces I want to get done... I have had some solo time, I am glad that we paid for the month of June so Brandon could continue going to daycare (that has been a godsend, it has been nice to have had some time to just do stuff, and not just fritter away time playing jigzone either) weeks waiting. You don't get that luxury when you already have one child..

I feel the urge to make a list to make sure I use this time wisely - like maybe printing out some wedding pictures (aside from a handful, still haven't put together a wedding album) or organizing the pictures we do have on our hard drive... sounds like work!

Was a quick weekend - was really nice because I got to spend time all weekend at different times hanging with friends, and then Sunday got the news that Ken's mom was experiencing chest pains - hospital got her in quick, and she has already had an angiogram/angioplasty and a stent! Here are my fingers crossed for a speedy recovery and her just feeling better - scary is that an artery was 80% blocked!!! So far so good. Today will more than likely include a visit to her (depending on how long she will be in the hospital).

Life never happens in a vaccum - it keeps on rolling and things are always a'happening.

It's strange this time around, I don't think I will need to be induced (fingers crossed), but the hurry up and wait for a really significant life event to happen is pretty trippy.

39 weeks...

It is always a strange process getting used to your pregnant self - but here I am! In all my glory at 39 weeks pregnant...

Entertained

I feel a bit more settled now that our shed has been cleaned out, found a few more baby items (and here I thought I was being so good about how I stored stuff in the last few years, not nearly as effective as I thought), and getting close to the final stretch of the "puttering" type preparations for a new soul to join the household.

Of course, the other parts are squeezing in some selfish time - which also sounds like resting up, reading, doing laundry, doing not much of anything, and trying to do the bits and pieces that will just help me feel more organized. I know that once the baby is born that my focus will be all about babe, all about Brandon, and trying to figure out our new reality and trying to get some time in there with Ken...

Speaking of selfish time - got out with Ken last night and we saw the latest Trek. It was awesome. I was thoroughly entertained, and they did a damn good job of the movie, the characters, the whole sha-bang. I loved it. Now I want to go out and rent all the Trek movies, just to relive the storyline...

Is today the day?

Slowly creeping towards 39 weeks (next monday) and enjoying officially being off work... I was so done Friday night when I wheeled my things out of work that the feeling lasted through the weekend. Definitely tired.

I am a few days in to my "vacation" and it has been nice to begin puttering, and nesting, and getting stuff organized. With a second, you definitely aren't as organized as early as you are with the first! Procrastination anyone?

I wake up in the morning, and I can't help but wonder, will it be today?? I think I have about a week, but I can't be sure. I don't think I have really dropped yet, but again, I can't be totally sure either. What I know is that every day I don't have the baby, I am one day closer to having the baby. LOL. It is still incredibly nice at the mat appts to hear the baby's heartbeat on the Doppler. Loud and strong. It is very assuring. I feel bigger and smaller than with Brandon, or at least more aware and content with my pregnant self.

I was asked yesterday if I will miss being pregnant - some of it. Feeling your baby move, feeling like you have this incredible secret, this life moving inside of you. The sore back and stretched out belly, well, that is a little harder to miss, and the heartburn, not so much. Once again, I feel pretty fortunate to have had a good pregnancy. Aside from being really tired at times, I have done well overall. I can't say that there have been huge differences between my pregnancies - I think the biggest difference is having walked down this path before. It is easier when you have an idea of what to expect, what changes are going to be coming.. but now, in the final stages, it is almost crazier having an idea of what to expect from labour. Knowing about the pain, and then the joy, and then how quickly time continues to march forward from such an amazing life event.

So, enough nattering, time to go and putter. I need to find my b'feeding pillow, and receiving blankets, and some more baby stuff. I am closer to where I feel I should be for preparations, but really, can you ever be prepared?

The midnight hour

Well, today is my last day at work.

Crazy. I am off until July 2010. It seems even more surreal this time than it did on my last day before I left work to have Brandon. Is it because I (half) know what expect??

It has felt like a sprint getting to this point - like I am in no big rush to be done, although reality may hit sometime next week when I don't have to get up and get ready for work... I am really hoping I get a week (fingers crossed) before baby decides to make their appearance so I can just putter, and do some stuff, and then do nothing at all - except maybe read a book.

Leaving work is different this time - when I left the last job before my mat leave, I was done. I didn't expect to come back for long, and this time, I know I am in for the long haul - maybe switch positions in some unknown future, but I like my job, I fit in there, and the neatest thing that happened, is that I have peers that I like and call my friends. Who knew? Not saying I didn't have friends at my previous (recent) jobs, this time around it has felt different, like I am a better fit at this place and in this time. So today, I will hit the Canadian institution for some donuts and muffins, and hopefully go out for lunch, and once I get my last tasks done... clean out my last bits and pieces, and then head home for a rest.

A whole year. It stretches out before me and yet I am having a hard time conceptualizing past the next few weeks.. I guess it is because everything depends on the personality of numero two. I wonder what they will be like - easy going, high maintenance, somewhere in the middle? Time will tell.

Shock of all shocks, today may be a day where I manage multiple posts.

Ah yes, must love the waking up at 2:30 in the morning for a bio break and then not being able to fall asleep again. This is getting old.

Final days at work

Two days left. Where does the time go?

And we are in the middle of a heat wave. Last year at this time I was joking about Junuary, and this year, it is still 20 C at 2 in the morning. Of course I know this because that is one of the times in the night I am normally up for a biological break.

After this week's maternity appointment it hit me more than in a matter or days or weeks, we are going to have two kids. There are still a few things I feel the need to do before bubs is born too. I haven't cleaned and organized to my expectation, I am starting to feel that urge to nest and clean and put things in their place. I also want a few days next week to be me. Putter, figure stuff out, or just plain rest. I am getting tired.

So far so good, fundal height is steadily going up, blood pressure is good, I haven't really had a lot of swelling yet, and time is marching on.. that was monday, so I am now closer to 38 weeks than anything else. Time seemed to go so much slower with Brandon... now it feels like the days are just slipping by. I am not packed to go yet, and it feels like I am not as stressed about getting ready - in other words, truly, how are you ever ready?? You just do.

I think tonight I am going to pull out that "let's go get dinner at the dock" card because I am just done. Between the heat, and work, and life... I don't want to cook tonight. Someone else can.

Insomnia is getting old.

I guess my body figures that it is preparing me for when the baby is born and I will be up for hours in the middle of the night.

Tuesday night I was up from 3:30am and on. Ironically enough, I felt way better than I did on Tuesday.

Last night, I was up between 12:30am and 3:30am. Oh joy. I guess the good thing is that I am getting a lot of reading done in the wee hours of the night. I read a Michael Connelly book called the Concrete Blond, from the Harry Bosch series. I think I had just about read all of his books. *SIGH*. It always kind of sad when you look at the booklist on the inside cover and realize that you at the point where they need to write more so you can read more of their books... as per the rest, it was a good book.

I think in the last month I have nearly read 10 books... and most of them in the wee hours of the night. Not that I can keep my house clean to save my life right now, but it seems I can read at 3am when I wish I was sleeping.

J is coming down from up north, so I sense a shopping spree at that swedish place tonight... woo woo!

And then you get to the end...

For book club this month we read the Story of Edgar Sawtelle. It was one of those weekends, we have the stomach flu making it's rounds around our house, and for some reason, I keep getting insomnia in the middle of the night. I really didn't think that I would finish this book before heading to book club on Monday night. Well, nothing like being awake between midnight and 4am and when you have to go to work the next day...

For the most part, this was a lovely read. I enjoyed the story, there were some tragic elements to it, I loved the story about a boy and his dog, and then the trials of being born a mute. Don't read the rest if you have a desire to read this book....

Then it got a bit ugly, and the story was still interesting, but for me the threads started to fray a bit. Without completely giving everything away, Egdar's father dies, and months later, after his disenfranchised uncle moves in with his mother, and another tragedy happens, Edgar and three of his dogs go on the lamb. This was a really neat part of the book, how this 14 year old boy survived in the wilderness and the new friend that he makes. There are elements of the supernatural to this tale - Edgar is forewarned that if he leaves home, to never come back unless he can find a bottle - it looks like his uncle may have poisoned his father and will obviously have it in for him too - in the uncle's pursuit of the mom and the dogs.

Well, all this made for a fascinating read until the last 20 pages or so of the book. For me, the enjoyment I felt for this book was completely unravelled in one fell swoop. The beauty of the tale was undermined - I went from enjoying this book to being slightly disturbed by this book. There was no poetic justice in the end. A gruesome blinding, a murder, an almost suicide, and the mom is left shattered and unhinged. Half the dogs escape a barn fire to take off in to the wilds, and the other half stay. Perhaps the big part of this tale is that the original Sawtelle relative captured a "quality" in at least one of their dogs where the dog had an almost super-intelligence... needless to say, this was the dog that led the pack away from the burning barn and shattered family. But at what cost? The hero, dead. The archrival, dead. The mother, may as well be dead. The local cop - shattered. The Sawtelle history and legacy, done.

So, I finished this book in the wee hours of the night and thought, WTF? It was well written, but I wouldn't recommend it. I didn't feel there was any poetic justice, I felt that the beauty of the tale was undermined, and well, I will either trade this book in, or wash my hands of it. It really bothered me. I think I will unravel this story to a friend at work just to get it off my chest because I so enjoyed so much of the beginning and then the end - blech. It could have ended even slightly differently, and I would have been so much happier.

Much like how I hated how Bryce Courtney followed up the Power of One with Tandia - Peekay deserved so much better than what he got in Tandia... and hence as far as I am concerned, that book doesn't exist. Power of One is one of my favorite books, but not the follow up. I was so put off by this book although I like Courtney's writing, I still haven't cracked another one of his books.

Of course, all this is in my humble opinion, for better or for worse.

Had my maternity appointment today - 36 weeks! Am doing well, baby is moving in to position, and all is good. Last two weeks of work.. O M G !!!!

Brandon - not so much. He is in the grips of this stomach flu, and after being confirmed how contagious it is, decided it was best for us both to stay home today. Which was reinforced when we went down for a nap at 1 o'clock... and then woke up at 5!!!! It was awesome... but man, I feel like I am getting kicked. Too many weird sleep habits this weekend, and my system isn't at peak perfomance. Needless to say, after finishing this book and really needing to VENT about the experience, I didn't make it to book club after all. I was done. I was tired. Brandon was off, and well, it seemed like a better idea to just stay home. Which we did.

I survived!

We had a great long weekend away... and I even survived camping at 35 weeks pregnant. It helped more than I can say being in a campsite right beside a nice, well serviced women's bathroom because there is one thing I do a lot, and that is urinate. It is amazing how many times I can go in a day. It is impressive Ken doesn't roll his eyes or make comments, it is just a reality at this point. When I gotta go, I gotta go. And then maybe 6 minutes later! It is silly in so many ways, but it is what it is.

Our campside was lovely - fairly private and nice and dry. We got lucky with the weather this weekend. We also lucked out with border line ups (both ways). We camped at Birch Bay state park (a favorite because of it's proximity to both home and the outlets) and it was lovely. Campfires each night, a fair bit of shopping at the outlets, and then making a castle on the beach. It was nice to be away, and it was really nice that it was just the three of us.

I am feeling a bit of nesting - experiences that the three of us can share now, before number 2 is born and then everything changes again. It isn't quite the unknown that Brandon was, but I know it will be a huge adjustment period again, getting used to another person, and their personality, and how things are going to evolve.

Aging.

Hello 36!

Shit. I think that means I am in my mid-30's. When did that happen?

I actually decided to not be a princess and I am working on my birthday. It has been a decent day so far, but can't say that I felt all that motivated to bust my ass all over the place today. I am getting stuff done, just not at a rocket pace.

My folks are going to come up and join me for lunch on the hill. This is somewhat miraculous, considering my dad didn't even make it for my graduation. We are going to grab take out, and then pull up some grass I think. It will be a novel experience.

Tonight we are heading stateside to go camping. I can't wait. Yes, there is a part of me that is thinking, I am nuts, I am 35 weeks pregnant, and then the other voice says, ya, you are only pregnant and you get to have a campfire tonight and roast marshmallows! How cool is that? Plus, since we are stateside... SHOPPING. Outlets. And cheap cheese. I need new shoes. I have coupons. I am pleased.

It was a nice morning with my guys, I got a volcano for my fish tank! I can't wait to set it up!! Should be really cool (somewhat like the volcano from Finding Nem0). Something I have always somewhat coveted but never bought myself - perfect.

Well, here is to the weather holding for the next few days and a few really good stories to tell about camping.

Me thinks it will be an interesting day.

Get out there and exercise your civic responsibility and vote already.

We already did - there were so many advance polls, they were hard to resist.

Today hasn't had a stellar start. I am at the satellite office, and traffic was okay. Barely. Then I made it to the top level of the parkade where transient folks like me get to park. And then I got (**&^)#@ for $14 to park for the day.

You have got to be shitting me. I hate paying to park on a good day, but I stood there sputtering for a few minutes. Those are Vancouver rates, or parking on the beach at White Rock rates, not in a suburban community at their mall/office tower.

To make matters worse, I brought it up to my boss through our chat feature, making a comment about parking, and I got the, you mean you didn't know you could have gone to security and gotten a pass for $1???

Thanks. Thanks a lot for telling me. Didn't you used to run part of the area over here?? "Didn't one of the folks over there tell you about that?" hmmm lemme see, what after I have already been gouged and parked, maybe someone will bring it up? How would I even have known to ask??

So when I come back from my maternity leave I get to do this twice a week?? OH JOY. I wonder how long that will last...

/vent over (for now)

I won't even start in about the golfing season coming up for our hockey team... it was an exciting game.. but man.. so much for our goalie being just this side of godlike in the net. Bah.

34 weeks and counting..

Well, for what it is worth, my Doc figures I am pretty good at this pregnancy thing. Too funny, I guess I am pretty relaxed about it all this go around.

Baby is looking good, nice strong heartbeat, bum is hanging out to the left, feet to the right. I feel like all belly this time around. It's amazing how you just gain weight when you are pregnant. I can't say that I am eating all that different, but the scale is still reading higher and higher every time I head in there!

I bought a pair of yoga pants last week (on sale, of course) where I wouldn't have expected to find a pair, and all skepticism aside, they rock. So damn comfortable. They will be a staple around the house in the next few months. Hell, I have no jeans that fit at the moment, so they worked for Friday casual pants. I dressed'em up with a pair of white flats (ha ha). Looks like I will officially get away with no maternity clothes this time around. A few new t-shirts and yoga pants don't count. The old, nice tops I had from the first go around are too big, and well, I just can't be bothered beyond switching up the order that I wear my stretchy skirts in.

People ask if I am ready - nope. Crib is still outside in the shed, we have that box of diapers, and Brandon's baby clothes are in the attic. I do have a list. A very modest list. I guess I am counting on having at least a little time after I am done work before baby comes... man, the days already seem to filling up fast.

We are paying for the month of June for daycare, and yet, I wonder how many days beyond the 5th I will use it. I am sure there will be a few, and I plan on some selfish time, and some resting (god knows when that will happen next), and some lazing around, but I am looking forward to a few adventures with my little guy before number 2 makes their grand arrival. And I have the urge to paint. If things come together, it will be painting a small, 3 drawer chest and the bookcase in Brandon's room. Maybe a few small projects. Who knows, maybe even printing out some Wedding Pictures... seeing has it has only been 3 years... but who is counting?

I am having a novel few minutes to myself, the boys are sleeping, and I am fighting off being tired myself. I am going to spend time with my book, and then off to the land of nod myself.

The Bump is definitely there.

I definitely feel pregnant at this stage of the game. I feel like I look more pregnant this time around, and less like I have put on weight, if that makes sense. It has helped starting out lighter - it feels like a round baby belly and not like I just look chubby. I feel obviously pregnant.

I have had less aches (overall), I feel like my complexion has been worse, and it seems like random nights I can't sleep to save my life. Like Tuesday night. Woke up about midnight. And that was it. Didn't fall asleep again until 9am, I knew that Wednesday would be a terrible day between fighting a cold and no sleep, that it was just easier to stay home. Then when I woke up, it was hot, I felt like hell because I was still tired, hot, and yes, I am bitching right now.

Folks ask if this pregnancy feels different... Not really - I still have a fair amount of energy, although I tend to go to bed earlier (up earlier), and it seems to be going faster. I still count off the weeks - breathing a sigh of relief with every next milestone, for example, hitting 32 weeks, next when we hit 36 weeks and most of the big baby-work is done and baby is just putting on weight for life outside of the womb... I am chasing around Brandon, I am more conscious of needing to figure out easy to prepare dinners for when I go back to work again the second time around...

I am pretty relaxed about the whole "setting up for baby". Time is flying, and well, I figure towards the end of the month we will get out Brandon's baby clothes, I have a box of diapers... we'll need some bits and pieces, and then to put together a hospital bag... it just feels like we have lots of time. Or that there is still a lot to do before I am off work!

Speaking of which, 24 more days of work, give or take. Wow. It is really starting to fly. Needless to say, in the wee hours of the night, I have read a few books. Nothing that I would jump up and down about, but some good reads.

I am really glad it's Friday. I have been the big kahuna (more or less) at work, and there have been lots of fires to put out, and lots of t's to cross... the next week, semester start up. Will be interesting to see how things go. I have stuff to wrap up, and it doesn't feel like I got even close to working on that stuff this week. Fits and starts.

Sneaky Belly shot - 30/31 weeks

Seize the day! Was it a sign that this was the name of the boat across from our floating cabin?

It finally happened. Brandon had his first overnighter, and Ken and I booked it and got out of town for 24 hours. It was freaking wonderful. I didn't feel guilty about leaving the Don behind, maybe I missed him a little, but man, it was just so nice to just be me, with my man, and wandering around a place neither of us knew.

Bowen is a great getaway because it is really close, and far enough. The price to get there is also 1/8th of what it costs to get to the island which is also a bonus, and you could get away with not bringing your car over. We had some great food experiences, and then some not so great food experiences (nothing like waiting over an hour for a clubhouse... and a tuna burger) and spent time just wandering around, aimless wandering with no where we had to be, and nothing we had to do, except maybe satisfy our appetites.

Our floating palace was really cool - we stayed right in the marina, and it was just so nice to get out and walk in the woods, or along the docks for that matter. Hold hands. Not be on call, and just forget about being a parent for a few hours. I think the break for us was as good as it was for the Don - he was treated like a rock star, and since it was his cousin's birthday, loved flirting with all of her friends before they went out to the bar. Sounds like a great weekend for all of us, for totally different reasons.

A little faint?

Today started out with a bang - experience my first real blood pressure drop in years and nearly fainted as I was getting ready for work! I guess there are times when you are pregnant when you can experience a real change in blood pressure, and well, all you can do is lay down, and then wait for things to return to normal.

Which they did... but I was still thankful my doc's office got me in for a quick checkup, because in moments like that, there is nothing like being able to hear your baby's heartbeat on the Doppler, and know all is well again.

Easter was good - for once, no trip to the island. I think we are almost at the point of feeling a bit "familied" out - lots of family dinners and visits, and will be nice to just chill for a bit. I think I will try to make it out and visit my gran once more before things get too far along.. but time will tell and how easy that will be.

B was really cool about Easter - his eyes lite up about the Easter Bunny and finding chocolate eggs. Then today, what did Brandon do as he rooted around the island cupboard? I should have known he was too quiet, but the chocolate hound found the hot chocolate container, tipped it out all over the place, and was enjoying a wee snack. He is lucky he is so cute.

Chocolate highs and lows

There is a lot of chocolate floating around my workplace right now.

Almost too much. I love chocolate. I don't need frilly chocolate or special chocolates, I just like plain old milk chocolate. This has felt like an indulgent week - just not great meals, snacks, chocolate. You know how it goes. Slippery slope, and thank god for a few walks thrown in for good measure!

8 more weeks of work. Holy shit is the time going fast!!! I definitely have a baby belly this time around - everything seems to have shifted differently this time around. I think I am carrying high, and I have been feeling pretty darn good, except being tired at the end of the day/week. But is that baby or is that working full-time with a 2 year old?

Skirt season for me has officially started. No more "normal" bottoms. They don't work anymore. Skirts and black leggings, and jammies that sums up my bottom half. I may need to break and pick up a few items, okay, who doesn't like a few new things (but, items I can wear after, not just enjoy for the next 8 - 12 weeks).

Am currently writing up my official leave. The home stretch is truly upon us!

Glorious Sun

The weather is as glorious today as it has been terrible for months!

Yesterday I sat in the sun for my lunch hour with my book, and today I went for a lovely walk around campus with a coworker. It is so blissful to have the sun in your face and to have summer shoes on. Oh spring, where art thou have been? Of course, it will be a bit fleeting since it is supposed to cloud over tomorrow... but today, ah today.

Brandon has been itching to be outside... the last few nights he has been hanging out in the backyard, spending as much time as he can outside before coming in. It's like he feels it too, spring fever is getting us in its grip.

Easter is around the corner and probably one of the first times I am not making the trek to the island to see my gram. It just isn't as easy anymore, and it costs so damn much. With the fare increase, back and forth with a car and 2 passengers is close to $150!!! HOLY CRAP! We can fly to Vegas for less than it costs to go to Vancouver Island!! O U C H ! ! ! I love her dearly, but, it's a lot of effort to do frequently and we were there a month ago... there are so many other places where the money needs to go right about now, and it is an exhausting trip with still having to work full-time.

I got to experience the joys of 3 boys between the ages of 2 and 5 on Saturday night. It was interesting - so much energy, so much rambunctiousness, a few tears, and a few laughs. Makes me grateful that two is a good number.. I couldn't imagine a whole house full of kids!!! Two is plenty... Brandon is a strong kid - definitely somewhat physical, definitely still a toddler. But man, can he TALK!!!!! it's cool.

Tonight shall be a picnic night. Get out, enjoy the nice weather while it lasts. We haven't done that since last SEPTEMBER.... back when Brandon was taking his first steps... and I got my remade wedding rings from my sweetheart. Pretty cool. Egads, time flies. And O M G it's been a long, long winter!!!!

Bang on my drum...

There are a few "back" posts I have been meaning to add for a while.. and this is one of them. At work, I had the really cool opportunity to make my own First Nations drum. It was a great experience - the first day I stretched and laced up the drum, and then second I created my stencil, painted it on, and made my drumstick.

The day I painted my drum, the FNC Coordinator and his sister were both drumming and yakking, and it made it quite a poignant experience, as we swapped stories about family, and our ancestral history. I am really pleased with how mine turned out - I had wanted to buy a celtic hand drum years ago, and well, this is even better. Celtic symbols, traditional colours and materials - more of a fusion drum that I think is appropriate for someone like me, from here, from the coast.

What is also neat to see is when Brandon wants to play the drum, and he walks around banging it and making noise - he is pretty proud of himself too at the cacophony of sound he can create with it!

so much for aiming for every week!

28 weeks - 7 months.

Welcome last trimester!!!! All in all, I must say that I have been feeling pretty good. Weight gain has been reasonable, no crazy swelling, and baby is doing well.

I think my plan of not buying any maternity clothes this time around will be almost difficult - I am planning to wear all my loose skirts, but the weather is staying DAMN COLD. Remnants of winter have been kicking around way too long, and now that we have spring, at least my daffodils have made their appearance. Aside from a few sunny hours yesterday, it has not been skirt weather. So I may break and get something - or even just bigger pants. I can still fit in to some of my stuff, but the button gets popped (and I cross my fingers my zipper doesn't drop!).

Not sure when is the time to start preparing for bubs - although prep will consist of getting bag of age appropriate clothes, setting up the crib, and getting a few odds and ends - diapers, formula (just in case we run in to the same production issues as last time and need to supplement), more crack cream, and baby washing soap... there isn't much to do, but watch the weeks tick off. It is easier in a lot of ways than waiting for Brandon, and harder too, since you know how the first went, and you have no idea how this time will go. It is almost as mysterious as the first. Doc isn't expressing any major concerns, so I'm not either.

So what is up with gas prices? If you happen to fill up in the morning, you pay between 3 - 5 cents more than if you fill up at night. It is brutal. I can understand some price fluctuation, but since I have been paying more attention, the price changes from morning to night, every DAY! Especially on weekends - on Saturday almost got gas at 99.5 a litre, and last night, about dinnertime, it was at 94.9 a litre, and now today, it is back at 99.7 a litre. It is bizarre. I now won't buy gas before 5pm. What is the point? They get you on your way to work... What really gets me is that there isn't really consistency, or a real reason why for the variations, or maybe there is and I don't work in the right industry to understand.

Had an experience this weekend that reinforced how every day with kids you are learning stuff. Had made your own pizzas on Saturday night, and I guess I loaded B's and mine with too much cheese. And then we had some ice cream later on. Way too much fat content for the little guy's tummy and he woke up in the middle of the night, chatting up a storm, and about an hour later, we wore his dinner. At least we had had a similar experience just before Christmas with some really rich pasta, so I could at least understand what happened - too much fat and cheese and rich food = evacution from belly at a later date. Aside from talking about himself puking in the night and having a shower, B was no worse for wear on Sunday - I think I missed the extra hours sleep more than he did! First time this happened, I was half freaking out, this time, at least I knew what to expect. Coming full circle - I guess this is why it is so much easier the second time around with kids, you have already been through a trial by fire and you have a better idea of what to expect, even if it totally different.

I am enjoying a few hours to myself before I pick up B from daycare - ended up taking the day off for appointments, and it is just nice to fritter, and read my book, and do paperwork. The time is going by so damn fast though!

My belly... at 26/27 weeks

This picture is from 26 weeks pregnant... so, about 6 months along. You can see my baby belly filling out, just about to pop! Ken and I were all dressed up to go out for a nice dinner at the Cannery and then to a Giants game... it was an awesome night!

cute kid

Funny how our kids manifest stuff we do.

This morning Ken went in to wake up Brandon. His first words were "five more minutes please".

HYSTERICAL. And only 2 and 1/2!!!! I came in, and he said the same thing. He was so cute, I totally understood where he was coming from because I am tired today. It feels like it has been a long week.

So, 26 weeks, here we are. I am doing my gestational diabetes test this weekend after I go for a massage. Should make for a relaxing hour, then a bit of stress, then hanging out in the lab for another hour with a book. Third trimester is slowly sneaking up on us....

It's snowed up at work most days this week, and now the rains have started. St. Paddy's Day was good - wore green and had a sip of guinness! Our routine shifted on Monday and Tuesday nights, and the house went from looking pretty damn good to not so good. Or just scattered. We traded tv's with a friend of mine (she upgraded and we got lucky) and I learned that old tv was "only" 27 inches. I thought it was bigger, until we measured it. We now have a 36' tv and it seems so BIG! It is cool. Will be more cool once I stay up long enough to watch some movies on it.. LOL.

Strange day.

Today has felt like a bit of a comedy of errors at times, and then hurry up and wait, and yet, all in all, it has been a fine day.

Funny how when the sun is shining, it helps.

Success. Brandon actually has fallen asleep for a nap without me laying next to him, waiting for hours, hoping he would fall asleep. I went and sat at the computer, frittering away time and trying not to give in and go see him, and waited him out. I talked back to him, told him I would there in a sec, and then, all of a sudden, silence. It was strange. I went to check on him and he was flaked out, on the edge of his bed, like he fell asleep mid-sentence. BEAUTIFUL!!!!! No fight, just some stalling, and he's asleep. This is a big deal for me/us.

All good at my check in appointment (6 months, O M G) at the docs, and Brandon is also doing really well too (he saw his neurologist). Apparently he is awesome, we are winning, and well, it is somehow between him being really bright and motivated, and apparently, I am a pretty strong advocate whom has been doing the right stuff with him. Some days it doesn't feel like I do enough, but whatever we are doing is working, and he is more than ahead of the game. It's a big deal. There are so many unknowns, and so much the doctors can't tell you, and what we have gone through - well, they have no answers just that it truly is a random thing that cannot be easily explained, you just deal. Which really sucks, because human nature is that you want answers, but they aren't forthcoming. So, you deal, move on, and do what you can. Which is what we do. Kind of like money, have your freak out here and there, do what you can, and move on.

In like a lion

So far March is living up to the old cliche - "in like a lion"... I just hope we get to see the "out like a lamb". It's been a true winter down here on the coast - I can't remember ever being tired of snow before. I am though. Yesterday had to be one of the most stupidest commutes I have ever had to work. A 12 minute, pleasant drive turned in to close to 2 hours of gridlock, slippery, crazy drivers with bad tires skidding all over the place, jack-knifed buses, a true hellish time on the road. At the point where I made the decision to pull a U-turn, an accident of the bottom of my hill happened and the traffic to work in front of me opened up and all of a sudden it became pretty clear sailing the rest of the way in to work.

I was totally frazzled when I got in to work. Attention span - what attention span?

Today dawned cold and clear, and now that I am sitting at my desk, I prefer the static electricity in my hair to wondering how I am going to get home in the snow!

What's interesting? This baby seems to be a mover - I am not sure if it is just a different awareness, or perhaps not having as much going on in my life, but this baby seems to move around a lot, which is cool. It is a hard feeling to describe, as you can feel your baby shifting around, or when your belly muscles contract with a huge baby shift, or when you look at yourself naked, and you can see that bump starting to assert yourself. It's a neat time of wonder, what are you going to be like baby, what are you going to look like, and for Brandon, hopefully it is cool to be a big brother.. other than that, settling back in to routines - and time continues to fly (most of the time).

The Pregnant Ego

The last morning of flying solo dawned crisp and clear. B slept in (yay), got my shower in with no fuss, Ken called, B woke up, morning started to roll.

I was pretty much on time to get B to daycare, until I had a "what the hell do I wear today" moment, standing in front of my closet. I foolishly decided to try on a few of my old maternity tops. I think my body has shape-shifted a bit since B, and well, I am lighter than I was with him (not by much, but enough) that putting on the old tops instantly added about 20 pounds, and thrashed my ego.

Why do they make plus-sized maternity tops the same length as a dress? Hmm. Cover your belly, your ass, and the top part of your thighs. Ah yes, make the pregnant belle feel like a beached whale, or in the very minimum, worse about herself than shopping for a bathing suit. Lets cover everything big with draping material and see how she feels. I quickly went through three tops, and then grabbed an old, non-preggers top that is pretty flattering. Instant 25 pound weight loss. Whatever, who knows if I will ever wear those tops again. Too bad, they look good on the hanger...

Can't say I am a big fan of maternity clothes. I may buy a few loose skirts, or maybe a few bigger sized t-shirts, but that will be it. Maybe spring for some nice flats to wear with those skirts, but I am not going full-out on the maternity wear.

Shortly thereafter, B flooded the bathroom counter top when we were brushing our teeth. I can't say it was a stellar start to my day, I sat my ass back down and thought, I think I am about a have a moment, but it passed pretty quickly since I had just put on some mascara, moments like this makes great stand up comedy... hitting the grocery store on the way home, grab some dinner, and then back to the family unit once again.

I am not going to win awards for supermom of the year

Hats off to you Nej for having to be the everything for your boys and straddling two households. I know your kids are older, but man, it still takes a lot of energy and a lot of attempts at some kind of balance to keep a handle on your sanity when your hubby is not in town..

This weekend went by a lot faster than I thought it would. Definitely got in a lot of quality time with B, had a few moments, such as him filling his swimming diaper with a mighty poo on the way to the wave pool yesterday (thankfully we had extra pants) so he a thorough cleaning and shower and a new swimmer prior to even entering the pool, and then having to clean out the somewhat stinky car seat once we got home, to him being the energizer bunny and not taking a nap yesterday, to him falling out of bed (at the end of it, not the side) and scaring the crap out of me on Saturday, to me catching his finger in the gate at the top of the stairs when I had him helping me wash some clothes and him screaming in pain and shaking and me worrying about breaking his poor finger (he's okay)... to not getting my baking done, or housecleaning, or laundry (had a load going at 6am today). Bah. It'll get done later. The gals from my bookclub are coming over tonight, and I think I will start with the caveat that "what you see is what you get" since I want to attempt grocery shopping on the way home since we are down to but a few diapers, a little fruit, and milk (a few staples in other words).

We did have fun at the aquarium, and the train, and getting ice cream (little duffer can consume an adult sized scoop with a huge smile and little wastage), and then eating pasta and hanging out, and hitting the pool, and being a good shopper, and reading books in bed. So much for trying to connect with a few gals on the net, I was more than likely asleep.

Officially six months along today - wow. Most days, the time is flying. It feels like the weeks are just clicking along. I still wouldn't say that I look obviously pregnant (in most of my clothes) and I am glad most things fit. I haven't quite figured out what I am willing to spring for when it comes to maternity wear. I am half thinking that for work I will ride it out in a bunch of loose skirts. Maybe just invest in some good flats... I am feeling good, just not all that energetic after 9pm. I haven't had any big cravings, but I would say that my complexion hasn't been great this time around. I have been half tempted to try on my wedding dress - this is pretty much where I was at when I was preggers with Brandon when we got married. Later on this month, it will be three years! Woo woo!

I am now reading at a snail's pace. Nights just aren't that long.. I had a few good things to rant about over the weekend, but they seem to have escaped me on this monday morning. If they come to me, I shall post again.

My jeans are getting tighter..

Well, it looks like I may have another week (or two if I push it) in my jeans. I pulled them on this morning, and straight from the dryer they were not exactly all that forgiving. I was wondering if I could pull it off still, but they have stretched out and I haven't had to pop my button open yet.. (yet being the key word in that sentence, I haven't had lunch yet).

Ken's in Vegas for the NASCAR race and I am keeping the hearth fire burning. He left in the wee hours on Wednesday, and then I worked all day yesterday, and had to pick B up late from daycare... long work day, and then a weird night since our routine was completely off, B was up several times in the middle of the night, so my sleep was disjointed at best.

The snow is finally melting (again), the skies are clear, and I have no idea what we are going to do for dinner tonight. I figure keep it simple, be a bunch of big kids together. It will be a weekend of kid stuff, hitting the wave pool, maybe the aquarium, going for ice creams together... should be fun. Just strangely quiet without my other half.

Another week has blitzed by and I am closing in fast on 6 months. I have been feeling good, earlier mornings and earlier nights... some clothes aren't fitting so well, but I figure at 6 months and I am starting to whine now.. well, that is not so bad. I can't think of anything outstanding or truly interesting to say... so... adios

There goes another week

Apparently that brief period of waxing poetic has already ground to a halt and I back to posting once a week.

We had a good v-day weekend. We kept it fairly low key - we hung out at the Granville Island market in the morning, and it was a bit of an illuminating experience for us. Yes, it was cool. In a way. Neat to see all the foods, and the fresh fish, and the exotic items to purchase. Not so cool, the prices. Everything is double what we would normally pay, even when not shopping at our local favourite big box grocery store. I guess we aren't cut out to be west enders, forking over those prices to be a cool dude shopping on the island.

As a tourist it would be cool, like us, being tourists for the morning, but I still stand by going down to Seattle and exploring Pikes - it is grittier, cheaper, and just seems to have a greater variety of wares, and corners, and really cool stores (like comic book stores, and little places to eat, and old nic-nacs), and everything isn't upper end. Maybe that is more us, I can see us next time heading back to Steveston to buy our fish from the back of a boat and soaking in the smells and sights of a working marina that heading to the city.

Ah, the truth eh. Give me flea markets, and hand me downs, and making my own crafty stuff and shopping at the outlets over big name prices any day.

Aside from that, week 22 is blitzing on by and I am "thickening" around the middle but not really showing. I am still falling asleep bloody early at night, and then waking up between 4 and 5am. Which really sucks. I should just get up, but I just don't want to at that time. Maybe tonight I will really try to make it to 10pm. LOL. There are some good shows on TV tonight, so that should help.

Hmmm... Nej has a great rant the other day... and I must agree with her about the octomom. Watching those t-zines at night, she is plastered all over the place, with more dirt coming out every day. Skeeves me out too. Sad. Poor kids. People have enough barriers to get through to have a normal life at the best of times.

Perhaps I am expanding.

21 weeks! Our ultrasound was a roaring success, and all clear on my blood work. YAY! My weight is also starting to creep up - I guess it was bound to happen. I am starting to show, but subtly. My moods have been all over the place - last week was trying. My goal is not to hit the same end weight I hit the first time around...

Things are better (more or less) this week. Van is on the fritz. Took it in today with a shopping list of complaints. Some stuff will be taken care of now, and some in a month when parts come in. Thank god for warranties, but what a pain in the ass that you have a brand new vehicle and after a year you have a shopping list of complaints to work through and not just routine maintenance.. that half pisses me off. You buy new for a reasons, and I guess that is a reason to get the extended warranty. Evil Socratic argument on that one.

What is up with the snow? Every time I have to go and work at the satellite campus, it snows. I am now three for three and it is getting annoying. Especially since I take the train across. Standing on the platforms is damn cold.

What else? Ongoing stuff with my mom. I just don't get how she thinks and processes stuff. I think I could go back to about this time when I was pregnant with Brandon and see complaints about exactly the same thing. Apparently my mom is stressed, and is dealing with issues (that no one else seems to know a damn thing about, usually means work, and she tends to create unreal drama where there shouldn't be any, weird weird weird...) and if you say anything negative about my brother, she is immediately on the defensive. Last night I saw her momentarily, and frankly between her mood and mine, I should have just "run away" but we got in to a few words, and as I said, I just don't get the drama, or the issues. Life is pretty damn good from the outside. And from what I know... shouldn't be that many issues happening either. In the course of our conversation, she said she has "higher expectations" of me than my brother.. hmm, I wonder why??? But bottom line is, why do you expect your daughter to be superwoman and not need support? That your son needs to be supported all over the place and is 30?

Now I am on another rant. Then I usually get the "I am not as articulate as you because I didn't get to go to university" line from my mom. I have never lorded it over anyone that I am (over) educated. Education doesn't make a man or woman, it is what you do with your life, the experiences you expose yourself too, how open your mind is - what you choose to do with your time and energy. Being able to articulate yourself doesn't come hand in hand with a post secondary education. Bah. So that is lame. Sometimes a blog is all about processing, and conversations like that with my mom leave me feeling empty of bereft. It makes me feel distant, like I don't want to open up or expose myself to the latest rant or threat of what I don't know that is causing her issues. I don't understand why during both pregnancies, and then with Brandon's early months, she was emotionally (for lack of a better term) absent because of her own "stuff". WTF? That's the time your daughter could actually use the strong support. It seems like the tables are turned and it is my mom that needs the support and to lend an ear for, but it means that I close off about myself, becuse I don't think she can handle anything beyond herself, and I guess I don't really trust what happens after I open up - what will come back at me later on , and I think that is a shame. Her loss, not mine since I think I have done enough "work" on myself to get beyond that - or at least I hope so. I try to be honest and transparent. I don't have anything to hide. I am still just learning, just like the other upright folks. I make mistakes, I ram my feet in myself, but doesn't mean I can't learn from it, or retract.

So, on another note, our hedge has been cut back today. We have a behemoth laurel hedge that was about 15 feet across at the top, and it has been trimmed back so much you can see a lot of daylight through it. It is a good thing, but it looks naked out there now. I know, give it a few months.. everything will grow.. LOL

555

I have always liked the number 555. I am hitting that milepost in posting today!

Wow. I looked back the other day, there are 5 years of postings here. Life has certainly changed over these last few years...

A final rant for at least a few weeks. I am tired of hearing about the incident at YVR. Seeing it on the news every day, hearing about it on the news, every day, has completely desensitized me to the event. I think the outcome is atrocious. How anyone could have been left wandering around that area for 12 hours is bizarre. Every where along the line the "system" broke down and failed the family. From my own perspective, having worked in a form of customer service all the way along, how you could ignore, or just not "see" someone like that for so long is unreal. Hearing people say they did their job seems a farce when you see the outcome. I am sure there are more stories than are being told, but bottom line is that it never should have gotten to that place.

We don't need to hear about it all the time. The coverage is unending. Merciless. Almost to the point where I am sure I am not the only one tuning it out. Changing the channel, trying to get away from those images. We all need to be aware, but the public has been bludgeoned with it. What aren't we hearing about if this is what the media is fixated on? What is being swept under the carpet?? What new issues are being quietly laid to rest while this is flogged? I can't help but wonder.

I know the last few points have been rants, bordering on just things that have tweaked me, that are seemingly never ending issues that keep coming up with no resolution in sight. Or just something different to whinge about here, so you don't get tired of all the pregnancy stuff.

Whoot!

The rant continues.

It is one of those days that it is really hard having an office mate.

The crowding, the loud conversations, the not being able to have a private phone conversation unless I time it around their breaks, the smell of cigarettes and stale coffee.

Some days it doesn't bother me, other days. Well, it adds another dimension to my work day.

She is nice enough - this is just damn close encounters to be dealing with every day.

I also found out I don't get to go on the yearly trip to Victoria. I guess going on a mat leave precludes me from needing to participate. Bah. It is the one big perk of the job.

Needless to say, I think I am having one of those "moments".

/rant done for now.

bitch, rant. moan.

A few things are bugging me this morning. The first being about the teachers in BC whom are refusing to administer the FSA testing. I am sure that this is a loaded topic, and everyone has their own opinion about it, and I know my kid(s) aren't school age yet, BUT, right from birth kids go through all kinds of assessment testing to see if they are on track. Even the (not so) simple stuff, gross and fine motor skill functioning, language skills, hearing, sight, all the basics. Those foundational skills and the testing of them is pretty important to see if there are any obvious shortfalls. Early intervention is truly the best way to cut these kinds of things off at the pass. I believe people enable and disable themselves all the time, and there is something to be said about knowing where you fit on the spectrum of things, doing an honest assessment, and then following through with what needs to be addressed. None of us develop equally, but hey, if you are ahead in some areas, and falling behind in others, what can you proactively do to give yourself the best chance?

Now, these tests for our kids. The teachers say it isn't in their job. WTF? Why are you so paranoid about your one corner of each individual kid's learning that you are scared of what the tests reveal? What about for the kids themselves? What if kids are slipping through the cracks in our system that doesn't really want to come out and say "your kid needs to be in this grade another year??" or, you didn't really put an effort in, but we'll reward what effort you did put in because it was better than last time. I want to know how my kid is doing - how is their reading and math skills, etc, and what do I need to be proactive about. I have worked in post secondary long enough to see what kind of skill sets kids are graduating with and they need all the help they can get!

And then the other thing. Our hockey team. You can hear the thumps of people jumping off of the bandwagon from miles away. I must admit, I am pretty lackadaisical about how I feel about the 'Nucks. I am thinking that the Giants kick ASS and are a way better product that the "big guys" in town. Much more entertaining, more charisma, more heart, and way way cheaper.

The walls are getting painted that the obvious head to roll is the coaches'. Everyone is lining up with their opinions, and what has happened to the team, and should we have gone for the big Swede. Well, it's farther than that. This team hasn't had charisma for a while. It isn't exciting to watch. Yes, there are sell out crowds, but is that crowd having fun? They are pretty damn quiet if they are! I laughed when I watched the interview from #55 last night -he spoke his mind and I am sure he will pay by warming the bench for a few games after coming out and calling out the coach. Then the big Swede - well, it is like when we brought the Moose in before he headed over to NY. Not really the next big saviour we expected him to be was he? I don't know. What do we need? Passionate coaching. Players that feel passionate about playing, and play for themselves and for the coach. Gritty play, following through with checks, consistency, and not relying on just one guy to make that difference. You win and lose as a team, and this team seems to have forgotten about it.

Now that I have that off my chest, I can continue on with my day.

Ye Haa. It's monday.

Well, I got a great night's sleep last night but it feels like my motivation has up and gone. Left me high and dry.

There's more snow on the hill. It's getting old. I am really looking forward to spring. It's nice because all of a sudden if feels like the days are getting longer since when I leave work it isn't dark out!

We went to the island for the weekend, and it is amazing how much easier it is to catch that crack of dawn ferry on the way there. Yup, you are dragging your ass but there is no line up to get on the ferry, and no traffic, and when you get to the other side, it actually feels like you have had a day over there, especially if you leave early on Sunday to get a bit of a catch up in. My gran is doing remarkably well for her age (94) but cruising through the "care campus" is disheartening when you look at the older folks who are just sitting there in their chairs, slack jawed, not saying or doing anything, just waiting. My gram is somewhat with it, and looking pretty good. She is getting tiny. I feel like an amazon next to her. This visit went well, for that I am grateful since it is hard to predict when we will get over there next.

Officially half way there. 20 weeks. I can feel my body shape evolving, but I don't think I look obviously pregnant yet. I have had the joys of random back pains in the last week - first my shoulder area, then my hips, and this morning it is my neck.

Body Image

It is easier in many ways being preggers the second time around. Some of the mystery is gone (not the awe) but some of the worries aren't.

Over the last year, I have slowly watched my weight creep down. When I got preggers this time around, I was actually 15 pounds less than the first time. Not huge numbers, but rewarding nonetheless. Now it is strange watching the number on the scale slowly start to creep back up again.

I don't think I will gain huge weight this go around, I didn't the first time. I figure it was somewhere between 32- 35 pounds. This time around, I would be happier around 25 pounds, but I am not stressing that much about it, since I am about 6-7 pounds at 19 weeks. So far, so good. But is still strange watching the weight go up, and it isn't really that noticeable because all my work clothes are big on me now. And everything does indeed shift before, during, after, and then again during baby. Things are different now too - I walk more, I actually go to the gym, even if that for me means just using a machine for a 1/2 hour. I think I eat a little different, although I still have my vices and it seems at work there are always snacks kicking around.

But how do I feel knowing I am gaining weight again? Mixed feelings. As long as it is reasonable and I am not gorging myself - great. Everything in moderation I say, and it means that after it should come off pretty well too. It is part of the motherhood journey, your changing physical self and coming to terms with it.

Showing is a funny thing when you aren't a bone rack - I know I won't get that "basketball belly" that some women get, I will just fill out a little more, and probably look pregnant in month 7. First time around I looking like I was "gaining weight" for the longest time before it became truly obvious. The joys of a taller, big-boned body type eh?

This go around - it is a different kind of bodily awareness. I think because I am caring more about my physicality, and perhaps because I know deep down that two would be the ideal amount for us. I feel little titters inside, it is like a great secret, knowing that it will probably be another month before someone else will be able to feel the baby - or maybe even just a matter of weeks.

Then again, first time around I was what weeks, if not days away from a wedding? Different time, different place. Self-hood is an interesting journey.

The beautiful side of the fog cover from above

This is a picture making the email rounds taken from Cypress Bowl the other day... the view from my office is similar at sunset.. only add a few more trees interrupting my view to the left...

Above the clouds

Well, we didn't win the lotto last night, as far as I can tell so I am back at work for another day.

The weather has been mighty strange around these parts. Aside from having a real winter, off the hill (AKA where I work) the world is enveloped by freezing fog.

My view from my office is much like what you see flying - except that I can see the snow outside of my offices and the treeline, and the rest is just fluffy clouds. No lower mainland, no island mountains, just a beautiful, endless stream of white that slowly dissolves in to blue sky.

Today just hasn't been a great day. A few things completely out of my control, and I am left behind to mop up the messes. Blech. Of course there are good moments sandwiched in between the frustrating ones, but it just seems like an uphill battle today.

On a total aside, the Canucks are totally sliding. It is almost amusing that with the Great Swede, the goaltender return, and the return of Finn, all hopes are pinned on these guys' shoulders. It is just bizarre, bandwagon jumpers, how the media plays up some elements - one guy isn't a team. What the team is missing is charisma - we went to the Flyers game at the end of December and there as no excitement at GM place. Why is that? People are dropping a lot of money to see a game and they just sit there and drink beer. Cheer, yell, enjoy... Bring back the organ player!!!

We saw almost as many Flyer's jerseys as we did Canuck's jerseys. This makes me way more excited to get out and watch something like the Giants (junior hockey)- where there is energy in the stands, and the game feels a bit more dynamic and the kids are hungry and trying to make it to the show, and you can go to a game and not spend $200 bucks for a good night out.

I am glad that the week is almost done... it's been a long week.

It is that good.

A friend from work said that she found the book was a bit long, and in some ways, not up to the hype since she read it when everyone else was apparently reading it, so for her, it was hard to live up to her expectations.

I just finished reading The Time Traveller's Wife and it was all that for me. I guess I read it with no expectations, and no hype, it was just a book that I heard was good.

It was great. I am almost sorry that the story is now done. It is a truly marvelous book and I hope that the movie they are making out of it does it some kind of justice. It is a hard book to describe to someone who hasn't read it, it is about time traveling without the science fiction element to it, about love and romance, and life, and all the bits that collect to it. It is about sadness, and waiting, and great joys, and the fantastical. If you have a few moments to spare and are looking for a great read, definitely worth your while.

Damn, what the hell do I read on the skytrain ride home? Just relax, and stare out? What a novel concept.. LOL

Just a random monday

I can't believe I am already 18 weeks along. Where the hell has the time gone? I am well entrenched in to the second trimester, and I must admit, the second time around is mostly easier, because you have an idea of what to expect. The harder part is that you know more, and the wait after all your blood work gets done and that first dating ultrasound moving to the past is a big deal because then you can (hopefully) breath a huge sigh of relief.

I am cooking in my office. The sun is glaring off the snow, and the heat is full on. Having a slightly open window is not making a difference at all. I have the blinds down, am sweating, and it feels like I should be on a beach somewhere south. I am only complaining a little - it is nice to finally be on the right side of the temperature inversion and not be wondering how the hell I am going to get down from this hill in a blizzard.

So yes, I will try to return to semi-regular postings again. It was hard in December with being so busy, and well, having some fairly big news that I wasn't quite ready to break yet.

Our computer also rolled over last month- more than likely not a virus but some lovely bit ended up corrupted. It is amazing the amount of time you can spend reinstalling programs to get your computer back to where it was before any of the chaos started. I think we have things running better, and well, we had a big backlog of shows to watch on the ol' PVR so losing them probably isn't a bad thing. Starting fresh. It is kind of nice.

I felt like a bit of a shit this weekend because I ended up adjusting some plans with friends. Aiming to get together and eat after 8 just wasn't working for me. So, I made a comment about it and wasn't popular because then a few other folks were baulking at eating later on. Everything ended up working out in the end, and I was really glad.. but when I am starting to consider making more dinner for my sitters (thanks folks) and Brandon and then some for myself and I am heading to eat at a buffet.. something is wrong... we still ended up eating at 8, but we weren't starting in the line at that point (which made a huge difference).

At this point I figure it is fair to say this is what works for us making the plans, and then you can say what works for you, if you need to make changes, and then see if it works to meet in the middle - if it doesn't, maybe next time! It isn't all or nothing, and I think if someone says... well, that doesn't quite work, how about this, that is ok, you have to honor yourself and yours, and hopefully make things work.

I like to drop big news in a meme.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Played hockey with my son… went to the Harrison Hot Springs Sand Castle competition.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I haven’t really been making resolutions for a few years – I always can lose weight, be nicer to myself, etc.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my friends Cheryl and Kelz.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year.
5. What countries did you visit?
United States (the shopping is good) and Calgary. Does Alberta count???
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Greater financial stability.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day we found out we were having a second baby.
The day Brandon took his first steps.
The day Ken, Brandon and I stood under the waterfall outside of Hope.
The day I found out Brandon was doing a-ok, and see you next year.
The day I got hired at my new job, after finding out the old job wasn’t so good for becoming a parent again.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting to go to the gym and working out – even if working out is ½ hour on the elliptical trainer.
9. What was your biggest failure?
It’s funny, I don’t really think of anything as being a failure, when things don’t happen the best way, it is a learning experience.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing really stands out.
11. What was the best thing you bought?.
Our new campstove, even if we haven’t used it yet.
The new aerobed.
The XOBX 360 to connect to our computer and Media Center.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Depends on what day, what time, the cycle of the moon, yadda yadda yadda. Everyone could be on this list at some time.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Behaviour of the media? I don’t really give anyone that power to make me appalled and depressed in the way it will have an impact on my life. Sad, perhaps, wishful perhaps that things could have been different, but I try not to live with any regrets.
14. Where did most of your money go?
If I knew that, I would be really happy. Bills. Bills. More damn bills. Daycare.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Brandon is walking and doing really well!! That we have another surprise coming June 22nd.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Move it Like This – Baha Men, because Brandon likes to hear it again and again in my car.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. Things are much more even keeled.
b) thinner or fatter? A little thinner but that will change in the next few months.
c) richer or poorer? A little of both. More assets, more debts.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spent time outside – at the beach, at the park, in the woods, camping.
More little getaways with Ken and Brandon.
Spent more time with a few girlfriends who don't live nearly close enough.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Work.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With family, wondering when the snow would stop.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I fell a long time ago.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
CSI:Miami when I have a chance to watch it.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate takes a lot of energy, and I just don’t have any to spare. That’d be a no.
24. What was the best book you read?
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Some older Flogging Molly? Didn’t really get a lot of chances to enjoy a lot of new music. That if you just give up and sing, your kids adore you for it.
26. What did you want and get?
New PJs and some more books.
27. What did you want and not get?
To be debt free, LOL.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
WallE, and the movies Ken and I got to see on date nights… and then Toy Story and the short films from Monsters Inc for the joys they brought Brandon.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35 and I believe that we had a really nice dinner with the family. We didn’t do anything too exciting.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Job stability and actually liking my job.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Classical and comfortable, while learning to get more flattering shoe types...
32. What kept you sane?
My husband, my kid, my animals, my books, and my friends.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Fancy? Can’t say any are at the top of my list right now.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The US election and the excitement it caused worldwide.
35. Who did you miss?
My mom’s mom (grandma).
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Not sure.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Which one?
Learning how to let go more, be more authentic, be true to yourself, all that self-actualizing stuff, be true to those you love, say what you mean... etc.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I always make up my own lyrics since I can never remember the words so I am not going to waste much time trying to think of something prolific to put here.

catching up on some good reads

After not being able to read much for early December, I was finally able to get through a few books over the holidays. Funny how a few feet of snow will help enable a person for that!

I read a few of my favorite escapist novelists, and also managed to pick up a few not so light reading materials.

Although it took me nearly three months to read, I finally finished Madame Proust and the Kosher Kitchen by Katy Taylor. It felt like a book I would have read back in the day of doing my English degree. It was good - one of those novels that gets better upon reflection but it wasn't an easy read or a page burner. It was one I struggled through, not because I wasn't interested, I just didn't find it easy to read. Comparing it to some of the Canadian Lit I have read, this was a great read! LOL Well worth a perusal, three stories about three women in different times with interwoven historical threads. It was a very subtle and good read.

I just finished Walking After Midnight by Katy Hutchinson. Wow. What a compelling novel. One of the ladies in my book club mentioned it, and it was nothing like what I expected. It is a story about being true to oneself, moving through an unbelievable tragedy (the murder of your husband), and the power of restorative justice. It is a true story, and a local one at that, Squamish. Well worth a read, not always easy, but very powerful stuff.

I am now working my way through the Time Traveler's Wife and it is enchanting in its differences. I have heard nothing but good things about this book - and so far it is living up to the hype, we shall see as the pages unfold and the love story develops over "time".

Huh?

I have no sparkling and valid excuses for why I have dropped off of the face of the blogisphere.

I have just been damn busy.

Snowed in like the rest of everyone else - and fighting winter colds, almost flus, midnight runs to the hospital to make sure the little dude was alright, getting ready for Christmas, procrastinating about our Christmas cards... they will be belated cards, I have them somewhat prepared, but I have been saying that for a few days now.

Christmas was good - a quiet affair this year.

New Years was good, another quiet affair. A little time with the core family group with a great dinner, some family time, some friend time, some banging on pots at midnight time.

The great snow falls, and then the great melt has had a huge impact on just everything.

It's been strange experiencing a true Canadian winter - snow. More snow. More snow. A little clearing, then more snow. Now rain, and there is what looks like to be some breaks in the clouds and I went outside at lunch and I didn't freeze! Who knew?

So, it's a new year, and I won't make any promises, but it shouldn't be another month before I decide to appear again. There are a few things on the horizon that I suspect will take up a few inches of space on here. Plus I have read a few interesting books in the interim too.

So, hello. I am back.

Happy New Years and all the rest!

Girls night...

It been eons, but last night, instead of meeting up and discussing a book, my book club went to the movies. We saw the Secret Life of Bees... it was poignant, and I think a fairly faithful rendition of the book. It was a total chick flick, and not the type that I will twist my DH's arm to watch at a later date. Aside from the five of us, there were 2 other couples of women.

Definitely a woman's movie, LOL.

Brandon was channeling his inner two year old this morning. Gawd Forbid. I cut his toe nails this morning and that set him right off. The crying. The whining. The whinging. Ah, I love that boy but he was a bit trying this morning. Only a few minutes late for work, but it is amazing how mercurial his moods can be at times. No, he truly not a terrible two (I think that parents control a lot of that with feeding and naps) but there are moments, where their moods are all over the board, and you just have to ride it out.

I have a bunch of books on the go - I am reading the latest Reichs book. I still really enjoy them, but you can tell that she has a sharper wit in her books. I laugh, but I also find it more crafted than her earlier books. I am also in the middle of the Twilight series... Yes, I am enjoying them as good escapist literature.. and then for my literary side I am reading "Madame Proust and the Kosher Kitchen" which is interesting, but definitely not a fast read. It is my work read, so I am plodding my way through it since I haven't really been getting the chance to take proper lunches in the last few weeks.

Well, I guess it's a good thing I didn't sign up...

I had high hopes of participating in NABLOPO this year...I figure that I love following the few friends that valiantly post every day for the month, and it is just nice to return the favor. If I would have attempted it this time around, I would have been abusing my time stamps on a daily basis, which pretty much defeats the whole spirit of the thing.

Maybe next year :D

It's been another damn busy month. Lots of history made. Lots of days I can't believe that the markets are still free-falling or that our dollar could be getting hammered like it is.

It's also joyous paying less than a dollar for gas. At $50 bucks a barrel, I wonder what kind of a rude awakening we are in for when the market readjusts itself.

I have been bloody tired this month with the longer nights and just bloody busy at work. I acquired more work, and now I have to learn to give up some of my work too. Before I do that, I have to get procedures manuals done... a never ending cycle of to dos.. and the word gets out I am here, and it seems that I am a popular person to seek out. So much so the newest on board made a comment about it this week.

Brandon had a follow up appointment this morning for his hydrocephalus and we officially got the all clear, life is good, and we'll see you in a year. What a huge weight off of our shoulders. Then again, I knew this. As a mother you do develop a sixth sense for when your kid is just not "right" and when something is "wrong". He's doing awesome. Or to quote my little dude:

me - "Hey Brandon, you are so my baby"
Brandon - "Hey Mom - I'm not a baby, I am a ROCK STAR."

Enough said. Cheeky bugger. Fits right in. And he is healthy as hell!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYA!

Not winning the housekeeper of the year award

I blame my mother.

Growing up, my mom was a fastidious cleaner. I think I started rebelling against her extreme cleanliness standards young, channeling my inner pack rat and having a messy room. It seemed at times having a perfect house was more important than enjoying life. You can read all sorts of psychology in to this, but in many ways my mom claims this was one way that she felt she had control over her life, was controlling her environment to the nth degree.

Weekends are my big clean up day. I hate to admit it, some nights, cleaning the kitchen is the last thing I want to do. So, things get cluttered. Sometimes life happens, and I can't say that making sure my house is picture perfect all the time is ever going to happen. Hell, I am proud when the house stays semi-tidy for my work week... normally it is "big clean up day" around the house on Saturday.. or if I push it.. Sunday. Working full-time, juggling home life, is one helluva balance.

I even got in early today.

Must have been something in the air this morning, not only did the right candidate win last night for the folks down south, IMH, but I got in to work early today.

I have beaten the paper monster back from half of my desk, but I still feel like there are a lot of outstanding bits and pieces. Makes me feel half anxious - knowing there is stuff floating around my desk I haven't gotten to and there are only so many hours in the day - even when I skip lunches and breaks, and just work my ass off to get it done. I hate the missing breaks, etc (we don't get paid OT, just time off) but they also give a little, giving me time off for appointments when I need it.. so, at the end of the day it all comes out in the wash.

Life seems busy, busy. I can't believe it is November, with Christmas around the corner. It really feels like it is sneaking up on us this year.

the next Harry?

I have jumped in to a new series, but it is taking me a while to really get in to it.

A few people had mentioned the Twilight series, about vampires and werewolves, that seemed to come out of nowhere and is all of sudden really popular with a movie coming out this winter (don't quote me on this).

I am on Book 2 - New Moon and it is more what I would call an easy read, totally escapist literature with a bit of an occultist bent. The characters took a while to warm up to, and I do care, but it is one of those reads that I can power through 50 pages in a 1/2 hour break. Not that deep, but interesting enough for a break at work. That said, I am sure I will finish the series off (being able to borrow and not buy them helps) but I don't feel as drawn in to the magic as I was with Harry and his gang. I can't wait for the next movie to come out. Hell, I would love to get out for a movie, although nothing has really caught my fancy for the last few months...

Broken sleep

It's been a long haul over the last week. I guess just over the last week. B went through a minor surgery last week (planned, nothing major) and recovery has been steady, just slow. When your little guy is hurting, nothing in your world is right.

It amazes me when you have a little one how important the basics are - are they drinking? are they eating? are they crapping? how is their temperature? overall mood? are they sleeping enough? Are you? You watch these things like a hawk...

When things start to ease off, it is like a weight off of your shoulders, and then you just keep on marching forwards.

I took today off work - wasn't planned, but I figured my little guy should have another day at home, with just mom.

It's amazing how important it is when folks just "check in". The little kindnesses - like asking how is your dude doing (those that knew, I wasn't that vocal about what we went through in everyone's defense)and my dad just hanging out with us - not doing much, bringing timbits (my son is a true Canuck. He lurves his timbits) to the moments where B cuddles in and says he loves me.

Hallowe'ening...

Why give up on being a big kid?? Check out my tiger..

Would not have believe it, but some of those patterns you can use are really cool!

do I?

Do I attempt the whole NaBloPoMo event again this year?

I enjoy the continual posts from my friends that participate - especially since it seems that over the years my ability to post regularly seems to hit some real slides.

I haven't gone and signed up yet, I haven't posted the patch.. I want to give it a few days and see what I can come up.

There are always interesting tidbits running around my head that I can comment on, those thoughts don't always make it from my head to the page.

So, I shall give it a shot - ramble on and on for the next month. See where we end up.

Halloween was quiet for us this year - took B around to a few houses, and then spent a quiet night on the couch. No hockey, the folks bailed and hopefully I can play next week. The hardest part is finding sitters for our weird hockey times on friday nights.