These have been hard fought weeks. Work has been so busy. I was trying for a new job, I didn't get it, but I do get to make a really positive sideways move that should really work out. So, from this lemon, I can make some margaritas. I blew my transmission the other day on the way to work. At least I didn't have my kids in the car, and I wasn't heading up the hill (small miracle), I was heading to my alternate location. If I am able to successfully shake the money tree, time for more margaritas.
We have successfully transitioned both kids up on the hill for their new locations. B is a happy grade 1, and C seems to really enjoy it up here. Except I now drop him off in the morning. If I get a really happy kid in the afternoon, I am leaving behind a kid with tears streaming down his face, breaking his mom's heart because I have to leave him to go to work. Nothing like sitting in your car, trying to compose yourself because you have to go in to work and pretend it is easy to be constantly on the go and you know your child will be okay when they can no longer see you. I will admit it, I have called a few times and I can hear him happily playing away, but I still have to pull myself together after.
The weather has been amazing - we got out camping last weekend. It was great... except we made a bunch of rookie mistakes. You know, things like killing your battery trying to blow up your inflatable mattress, running out of propane, not having jumper cables, and then not bringing the goods for breakfast because you figured you would just do that first thing in the morning. Rookies. Camping was great - the boys were in their glory, and it was so nice to be outside. The campfire, watching the sun set, doing something different.
I think I have been feeling a bit frayed, and I can hear it in my voice at times. I need to deep breathe, practice patience, and spend enough time with my loved ones. I also need to find more time to watch some sunsets too.
I have been thinking about this poem (see below) lately. I loved it when I first read it as a kid, and now, as an adult, I see something different (no less compelling in it) within the poem. A timeless emotion captured here:
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
By Robert Frost 1874–1963 Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” from The Poetry of Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem. Copyright 1923, © 1969 by Henry Holt and Company, Inc., renewed 1951, by Robert Frost. Reprinted with the permission of Henry Holt and Company, LLC.
Source: The Random House Book of Poetry for Children (1983)
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