A day of one's own

Yesterday I more or less reached that point where I really didn't have much reserves left in the tank. Lack of sleep, busy days, the grind of the last few months finally caught up to me and I took a day off for me. Funny I feel the need to say yes, I did feel like hell and I don't think I would have contributed much if I would have gone in to work so I feel justified in my sick day.. does the head ache count? the bleariness around the edges? the overall exhaustion??

It was glorious to do nothing. Well, I did do a few somethings - I parked my ass on the couch and I caught up on some CSI Miami episodes... and I ate popcorn, read some of my book, had a shower, and I watched Eat, Pray, Love. I also starting knitting myself a cap, and frittered the day away until I had to go and pick up the kids from their respective care centres. It was awesome. I needed it.

It helped unfrazzle my nerves, shake off the headache, and just do nothing to more or less help refocus my energy. It is ironic how hard it is to give permission to one's self to not be so busy, or to be doing something "constructive". In the moments before I went to pick up the boys I did a quick "tidy up" so it didn't look like I was a mini-hurricane that went through the house on my much needed day of rest. There is something to be said about not having to say anything to anyone for a day, to have a few hours to do nothing but be, or to do pleasureable things (like rest, read, watch mindless TV) for some time to just recover for lack of a better term.

Being a full-time working mom is a balance, and sometimes it tips one way or the other and yesterday and taking some time off (without anyone around) helped put it somewhere back in to the "I can deal with this" stage again... it feels like I have knocked a few things of the to do list, and I finally got out the last of my Christmas cards... not everyone got one this year, and I have mixed feelings for next year, what I will do. For the amount of cards we send out, there is a solid few we always get... and even this year that number seemed to dwindle. I couldn't imagine not doing cards... will have to see what we will do next year, if it is cards, or a family letter, or what feels right.

Still no word about the k-kids.