all in my head... again

Weeks have slipped by and all of my posts have stayed up in my head.

Septembers are brutal months. Semester start ups are never easy (good excuse to drink Strongbow any night of the week) but this one just sucked.

I was gleeful on Friday, not only because it was a Friday but because it was October 1st, and that meant that September was done.

It wasn't terrible, it was just a grind. Just everything. Work has been an adventure - crankiness from not being able to take breaks anywhere close to on time, not being able to get out for walks, and then applying for a different job in my department, to getting interviewed, and then having it reposted and myself having to consider whether or not "staying the course" in the applicant pool was in my best interest. Now that was a great, introspective journey I had not anticipated taking this fall. Really, all I wanted to do was to go back to work and get used to being back at work and not get myself all geared up to apply for another job... yes, I want more responsibility and different challenges... but now that I have had more time to consider it all I have fallen on the side of the fence where the grass is greener where I am right now. Learning my job well, perhaps finishing off some of the certificate programs I started... hell, just figuring out this working full-time with 2 young kids and their activities, and trying to get quality with my hubby... and myself... and at least some of my friends at some point... well, I think that is my true priority.

It doesn't help matters when a few folks around work have asked if I will go for the job, and I tell well, I have looked at it from a personal level and I can't say that it is what I want at this time, and then they rave about how fantastic they feel I would be in the position... firstly, tell that to the higher ups.. if things would have happened on the original schedule I would have just rolled with it rather than take my own introspective journey about it the job posting... and now... well, I've mentally moved beyond in to the next hurdles and prioritizing what I want in the near future.

I could have done without the mental olympics to welcome me back to work.