run away... run away!!!

FB is many, many things. It is hard to believe that less than 5 years ago, we could all survive without it, and now, we are hooked in to checking our status and peering in to everyone else's lives we have ever touched and are now remotely reconnected with.

I was quite weirded out yesterday. A few people from my junior high days have come back in to contact with me - for better and worse. I guess the nice thing about FB is that it is at a distance and you can see what is up, and then leave it at that. The part that weirded me out is that many of the girls I knew back then are grandmas. Yes, grandmas. Their grandkids are in some cases, older than my kids. We are all 37. O M F G. I just can't imagine.

The irony is that when we moved away from where I went to junior high to where I went to high school is that my old friends thought I was moving to the sticks and made fun of me - making jokes out of going cow tipping and teasing me about how much I would miss city life.

I look back now and I am grateful I got out when I did - I would like to think I was on the path to university and other options, but it was a rough junior high, and I think it was a fight for the kids who stayed there and went on to the local 11-12 high school to get out (if that makes sense). It was a rough area - lots of us started smoking then, fights at the school happened quite regularly, and now on FB, seeing a few of the girls I hung out with back then, they all seem to have a LOT of kids, and some with grandkids, they look like they have had a much different life than me and different sets of choices.

Makes me glad in a different way that I "grew" up in the valley, that my early years made me realize that there was life outside of the valley, and that I was able to take the best away from both worlds. I am glad that I continue to live in the burbs, that my kids will be (fingers crossed) going to a decent elementary school, and that hopefully as a result their peer group will be on a similar life path to them which will continue on to secondary and then on...I know they will rebel and do stupid shit, we all do, but funny how wanting that best life possible does happen at a truly young age.

Ironic too that if I got teased about going cow-tipping from one group of people, cow-tippers teased me about crossing the bridge to the city and not understanding the life outside of their valley existence.. different worlds, and then different worlds again.

The local rag is running a series about early childhood development and I do believe much of our child's future is established early on in life... and then in high school, where we are all subject to peer pressure, how prepared we are to deal with it, and where we are able to go to school all goes back to those early years. I don't begrudge my kids the time we have spent cosleeping or cuddling, or all of the adventures that we have, I am grateful for it since these first few years go by so damn fast as it is, I want to hold on to them as best as I can. Although I can admit, I am looking forward to having our bed back and it being a special occasion when the boys do join us rather than a nightly occurrence..

Making mincemeat

I have always enjoyed baking and making things (I value homemade rather than always going for bought versions) and this weekend was no exception.

Made apple and pumpkin pies, and then headed to my MILs to make mincemeat yesterday. My DH has always hoarded his mincemeat tarts, and although I like butter tarts, I have judiciously avoided his tarts since they are his and his mom always makes them for him and presents him with his own package of them to last for a while. It is really cool how he partitions them out over the year, they are truly his, and it was a big deal learning how to make mincemeat this year. It is a basic recipe that his mom has used forever, and it calls for rum or brandy. Family tradition, coming from a line of rum drinkers, means that rum is the favourite choice... and we chose to use 151 proof rum. It's been a few years since I have bought any (if ever, although I have had it before) and I had to laugh when I read the warnings all over the bottle, how flamable it is... it even has a metal piece on the lid to help it from spontaneously combusting. Damn, you gotta love rum. When I added the rum to the cooked mincemeat, it let off an impressive steam of alcoholic vapours... we are now stocked until at least next summer when green tomatoes are once again in season... I will remember the learning and the making of the mincemeat this year, and it will become a family tradition for us.

Speaking of homemade, I got a few new cookbooks last week from my order of cooking utensils. They are decent cookbooks, but I noticed a lot of the recipes are "cheaters". I know there is a time and a place (especially when just a busy mom trying to do something different or fancy) but I don't always want to grab pillsbury dough or the frozen whipped topping... I do like it old school when I am in control of the ingredients. That said, there are a few things I will cut corners on... and I will go sideways on others. Some interesting ideas - I like that about cookbooks, just having the guts to try something new out rather than the same ol' same old.

Turkey. Can't say it is all that anymore - ever since I discovered how easy beer-can chickens are, and making crockpot stuffing... can't wholeheartedly say that turkey is the way to go for all those big family dinners anymore. Who knew?

7:45 am

I have come to the conclusion this week that the period between 7:45 am and 8:45 am is a gong show for me.

I have finally mastered the getting up early bit, having my coffee on the couch instead of the car so I don't spill it down the front of me, and of getting the kids dressed and out of the house... but it always feels like a sprint. It is like cat herding, running uphill, or just trying to do dishes after a big meal. I feel like I am running to get out of the house, running to get Brandon to daycare, running to get to my office on time. it just feels like I am running to catch up... that I am smoking busy at work and haven't really caught up yet from being off on my mat leave doesn't really help all that much either.

So bah. That is my whining about the morning rush.

I have also been stalled out on the book that I am reading. I am reading an older Rankin novel, and it is a bit of a darker, or more gloomy one, and although I like it, I am really struggling to read it. I may just have to go sideways and pick up something else and come back to it later on.

Did I mention it looks like my desk at work exploded? *SIGH*

all in my head... again

Weeks have slipped by and all of my posts have stayed up in my head.

Septembers are brutal months. Semester start ups are never easy (good excuse to drink Strongbow any night of the week) but this one just sucked.

I was gleeful on Friday, not only because it was a Friday but because it was October 1st, and that meant that September was done.

It wasn't terrible, it was just a grind. Just everything. Work has been an adventure - crankiness from not being able to take breaks anywhere close to on time, not being able to get out for walks, and then applying for a different job in my department, to getting interviewed, and then having it reposted and myself having to consider whether or not "staying the course" in the applicant pool was in my best interest. Now that was a great, introspective journey I had not anticipated taking this fall. Really, all I wanted to do was to go back to work and get used to being back at work and not get myself all geared up to apply for another job... yes, I want more responsibility and different challenges... but now that I have had more time to consider it all I have fallen on the side of the fence where the grass is greener where I am right now. Learning my job well, perhaps finishing off some of the certificate programs I started... hell, just figuring out this working full-time with 2 young kids and their activities, and trying to get quality with my hubby... and myself... and at least some of my friends at some point... well, I think that is my true priority.

It doesn't help matters when a few folks around work have asked if I will go for the job, and I tell well, I have looked at it from a personal level and I can't say that it is what I want at this time, and then they rave about how fantastic they feel I would be in the position... firstly, tell that to the higher ups.. if things would have happened on the original schedule I would have just rolled with it rather than take my own introspective journey about it the job posting... and now... well, I've mentally moved beyond in to the next hurdles and prioritizing what I want in the near future.

I could have done without the mental olympics to welcome me back to work.