RELIEF

Super Hubby found my ring!!!!

I am ***so*** relieved. I have a call in to the fellow who will be doing the repairs and I have learned the lesson. I won't wear them until they are fixed and won't shift on my fingers.

Speaking of which, TGIF. I am tired. Getting away the last two weekends has been great, but a weekend of being almost normal is a thing of beauty. Quiet night tonight, and then we'll see how the rest of the weekend unfolds.

A complete circle?

I am kind of at a loss for words this morning.

Just over two years ago, my engagement ring broke and I lost the diamond.. which I did end up finding a few months later, but the ring has sat in jewelry box since then because life has gotten in the way of actually getting it fixed.

Well, this morning, as I sat down for our team meeting, and I looked down at my hand. My left hand to be specific. It was naked. No wedding band. FUCK. I could feel the blood drain from my face. The ring was a little big when I got it, and since I didn't know if I would gain weight in my hands with pregnancy I didn't get it fixed at the time, and now it was on my current mental list of things to do - get the engagement ring fixed and size my band. I am hoping for a second miracle that lets me find my ring. So many sentimental reasons - the gold was my grandfather's and contained a few melted down rings, a friend had made the ring, and well, it was my wedding band.

I am hoping it is at home, since I know I had it last night when I left work (since I always play with the band because it is a little big), and I will just need to reconstruct the places that I went. I have everything crossed, and need to make a plan with my dear hubby about all this. The time has come to make the call to the family jeweler to sort this out. It sucks having a ring I can't wear, and it sucks that maybe I have lost the second one. FUCK. It frustrates me so much because aside from some really nice earrings I got from Ken, I don't have a lot of valuable jewelry. I have some really nice silver jewelry, but it just isn't on the same level. This was it - my wedding rings. You have faith when things are made that they are made right... and well, I guess not the place a corner should have been cut and now it is a life lesson.

A two year old.

I am the mother of a two year old.

Wow.

Ken had the house all decorated when I got home, and Brandon was just absolutely gleeful. He was singing Happy Birthday to himself and he couldn't wait to blow out the candles. This year, he even tore in to a few packages, although he did have the attention span of a gnat when it came to playing with each of his new gifts. I got him a Bob the Builder ice cream cake, and he was way more interested in licking the icing off the cake than eating the ice cream?! We had the grandfolks over, and it was a great time.

The joy on his face, and the funny things that he says. We are both pretty proud parents of our little guy.

A humbling read

This seems to be the year that I am finding more books that move me.

There are some books out there that are "technical" good reads because they are well written, regardless of whether or not you really liked the book (for me, that would be something like A Fine Balance because it was well written, but I can't say I am jumping up and down with excitement from the experience) and then there are the "good reads" because you flip the pages as quickly as you can (like Riptide, or some of the crime novels that I read). Then there are the good reads which aren't necessarily perfect, but they move you, or humble you, or cause you to think about something you have never considered before, or they open your eyes, or cause you to appreciate some element of life just a little more. I just finished one of those books.

Last year I watched an interview on the morning news with a fellow named Ishmael. He was a child soldier from Sierra Leone, and I remember just how compelling his story seemed to be. I have wanted to read his story for a long time, and I had a "moment" and realized it was probably at the library where I work, rather than waiting to buy (or remember to buy it).

Well, it was a moving story, one that shattered a few conceptions that I had. It is called A long way gone and it is a worthy read (an autobiography) to even just have a glimmer of what happened out there, and what these kids went through. Ishmael tells his tale in a way that lays it all out there, the good, the bad and the ugly. He doesn't hide behind words, or mince words, and there were times I had to put the book down and take it all in. It is a terrible story in many ways, and yet one that contains hope. I would recommend it as a read, although not one if you want a light and fluffy escapist book. This isn't it. So much of what happens in his young life, I couldn't imagine. His tale also reminds of how resilient humans can be when given the chance, but how hard of a struggle it truly can be to do so.

Berry Time

The downside of June-uary was a terrible crop of strawberries.

Kazzicus Domesticus has reared her head and let out a great big roar today. Shopped in the morning, enjoyed the new window my dad installed (yay! fresh air!!), got to visit the newest member of our extended family tonight after I finished a blanket in the car for him, then got home, watched some mindless tv, cleaned the fish tank after coming to the realization that yes the water should not be that colour green... and no, that water isn't moving (sorry fish sacrifice that didn't make it), and then I decided that truly tonight should never end because I have now made 2 batches of strawberry jam.

Or, should I say, one batch of strawberry, one of strawberry and blueberry, since the berries I bought didn't stretch in to two batches. They were shit berries. Small, great for jam, and lots of rotten ones. They were so bad this year I wasn't even tempted by these berries to put them in a bowl and eat them like a big kid. No big juicy red ones that make you drool just admiring them.

And because I don't have enough to do, I am running a process for work while I am off so I can get an "extra day" tacked on, meaning Monday. These two weeks have flown by. I had one of those damned lists, and I have notched a few things off, but I am letting a few things go too.

Honestly though, I am still up because I am excited. We are heading down to So-Cal to visit one of my bestest friends and her hubby and celebrate being alive. I can't wait. Just to hang out, catch up, hit the outlet malls. When we talked the other night, she said the weather was going to be good - it shouldn't be over a 100! Crazy talk! This BC girl is in a for a bit of an awakening after our spring. Yes, the last few weeks have been amazing, almost good enough weatherwise to help one forget just how much it did rain...

Weird Karma.

As a kid, I was a biter.

I was that annoying kid at the family get togethers that would be crawling under the table and biting peoples ankles. My aunt threatened to keep a wool coat she had with the perfect imprint of my upper and lower teeth in the corner of it.

Funny how when you have kids, people do say life comes around full circle.

So it is apt that Brandon too is a bit of a biter and I am getting a taste of my own medicine, so to speak. The biting urge seems to get worse with teething, but it's there. I ask him not to bite and end up with my hand on his forehead to hold him off, and then he tells me to "stop that mommy". It is funny as hell BUT I don't want to encourage biting, so I am trying positive and negative reinforcement, and hopefully this is a short stage.

I didn't imagine having conversations with my two year old. The other day I was attempting to put him down and he went for my shirt. I am sure if I gave him the chance he would breast feed right up until he had to go to school, and to quote my little darling:

B - "Boobies!"

Me - "Yes Brandon, those are mom's boobies." Trying really hard not to do an eye roll and hoping that he doesn't attempt to latch on. We have weaned about 99%.

With a funny look on his face, "Boobies in a bra, mom."

What do you say to that?

I think after so long going down for naps with me, and associating naps and bedtime with me and offering b'feeding, it is a struggle for me to put him down for a sleep. He fights it, the routines don't really help, ultimately we rock, and read, and sing, and cuddle, and I usually end up falling asleep with him on the bed (which is actually quite endearing but exhausting after the tears, the cajoling, the leaving, the screaming behind the door, and the entreaties to say the least). At least today the routine went better than the last few days. Could help that I really tired him out.

It is amazing how different he is to go down for anyone else. For Ken, he is a dream. They read a few books, a cuddle, Brandon asks for a hug and kiss, and a "see you in the morning" and they are DONE! It's almost funny. He goes down for naps and bed great for everyone but me. I guess that means I am some kind of special?

Read this book.

Every now and then a book comes along that takes your breath away.

This month's read for book club was like that. It was Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. The title is appropriate after you read the book, but doesn't really give you any indication of what or how the book is going to unfold.

What a BOOK!! All of us couldn't put it down, and all of us were excited to talk about this book (which isn't always the case) - after we talked about our families, and ate lots of good food, and well, just enjoyed being together and being women, and talking about just everything before we wound our way around back to the book. I didn't know what to expect, but it was a beautiful, moving, somewhat disturbing and gritty, but very elegantly written tale of two women in China beginning in the 1820s when women still went through foot binding. Parts were really hard to read (from the point of view of what was acceptable to do to women), and yet, it was a book that felt like it gave you access to a part of the world and set of experiences that are completely foreign to a twentieth century Caucasian woman.

We got to talking about standards of beauty, and what is considered barbaric, and what is truly "all in the eye of the beholder" when you discuss foot binding, whale-boned corsets, labrettes, head binding to create a flat forehead, piercings, high heels and bras all in the same conversation. Being born in our time, in this place was something we all agreed upon as being really good, especially as a result of some of the books we have read and experiences we have collectively had or read/heard/been exposed to.

Of course, the next book I read after this didn't measure up by any standard. It was just an ok read and one that just didn't flow all that great for me. Then again, this book set a pretty high standard.

Sunny days...

Although you can't see Brandon's face, I thought that the composition of this shot was kind of cool. For once, I think that the tide was too far out - it was so far out that it was awesome to make sandcastles in because the sand was really dry, but once you got to the water's edge, it was all seaweed as far as the eye could see, and frankly, Brandon isn't going in for a walk or a swim in it when you just can't see what he is going through or stepping on... saw lots of big clams and crabs, and I am comforted by the fact that I have seen some sand dollars on the beach again (it had been years).

It's nice to be off this week. Although the days are flying by. I have a "to do" list so I remember to do a few of the projects that would nice to get done... like chopping back our laurel hedge that is totally unruly, and painting around my stove (this was just a touch up job caused by getting a new stove that was a different size than the last one... and ok, so we did that last Christmas... welcome to life with kids and a whole new set of priorities).