the nightly juggle.

It is a challenge some nights learning how to manage and entertain Brandon and get dinner on the go.

Some nights are easier than others, and I am learning how to make some simpler meals too. I am also really trying to clean up after myself, and make sure that all the dishes are done that night, so we don't have a daunting mess to avoid in the morning. I am a messy cook. I wish I could say I was one of those cooks that always cleaned up as they went (I try, it works for a while...) but it seems I sacrifice a perfect kitchen for great tasting food. Not always a bad compromise, just a pain in the ass when you are really tired and all you want to do is drag your sorry ass in to bed and you KNOW you should really do something about the wreckage from dinner. I am trying. I guess it is one of my unresolutions. Bah. It is really about making my life easier, and trying to figure out how and what responsibilities get juggled at night time between Ken and I and getting our dude fed, washed up, calmed down, and asleep.

I am learning about having those cheddar fishies handy, or a bowl full of cheerios nearby, that and some juice. Hell, those cheerios take the edge off of my hunger and make me a much easier person to deal with. I am trying to relax more, and not be in such a panic to get dinner happening. It wasn't really working because as soon as I got in to the nitty gritty part of the meal, Brandon's jedi sense kicked in and he became high maintenance for the moment, crying, or wanting to play with pots and pans, and be taken over to check out the plants, or the real fish, or anything but chilling in his high chair or playing on the floor near my feet. It is a real learning experience, especially since things shift so quickly when your kids are young. What works one week may not work the next.

At least the teething has subsided... I think all of his teeth have at least some white showing through the gums, and his ear infection is better... and dammit. I just realized I forgot all about his antibiotics for the night. Oops. My cold is getting there, my ears still clog up, and I just don't feel right in the head (did I ever?).

I am reading one book at work right now (another autobiography, and I think that if I thought that Running with Scissors was an education in how other people live, this one is even more so, The Glass Castle) which is just a real page turner, and an older suspense novel from a writer I normally like - I am finding that it just dragging a little and I am finding it more of a slog... it isn't bad, just not a page turner like the last few I have been reading (The Thin Dark Line). I am also attempting to knit myself a hat, and it seems like I keep making it too big, or I am getting the yarn all twisted up, but I am starting again for the third time. Hopefully that is the charm for me.

Our weather has been bipolar too. Snow, then a big melt, and then torrential rains. Then maybe a break in the clouds, then snow. Then rain. Sloppy mess everywhere. Rain. Some mixed rain and snow, then some wind. I just roll with it. I am definitely looking forward to spring, longer days, and not so much rain so I can get out more in it. In winter you really do feel like you hunker down because we really haven't had a lot of chances to get out in nature...