Turkey.

It's been a strange holiday of sorts. Watched the coed game friday night, did some stuff around the house saturday, and then we went to Ken's men's hockey game, and then to his side's family dinner for dessert - they didn't do a turkey - they ordered in chinese food??!!! So it was a strange evening in a way, it didn't feel like a special "holiday", more like a social family gathering. Today I was up to my ears in laundry (now that I wear more than plaid pants around the house it seems like I go through my entire wardrobe on a weekly basis) and food shopping, and making apple pies. My side family dinner was actually better than they have been - more laughter, more relaxed, and Brandon is a great distraction and a lot of fun. Plus we get to talk about the upcoming wedding, and that is always interesting too.

Been odd times with my ma (again). Some of the things that come out of her mouth, or the thing she says and/or does without thinking through floor me. Today, I was cleaning in the kitchen after dinner and overheard snippets of a conversation she was having with my Aunt and Ken's mom, and she was talking about my gran, and how she is doing since her hip replacement. Well, these were updates I haven't even heard yet (not that I even caught everything)- it really pissed me off. Why do I have to beg my mom for information about my gran?? I am just going to say fuck it, and get the info for myself. It bugs me that she doesn't call me (within reason) after she talks to my Aunt on the island to fill me in - the thought doesn't even seem to cross her mind - yup, thanks mom. Grrrrrr. As you can tell, that just pisses me off. I guess ultimately, I am an adult and have to take charge of what matters to me, and if I don't like how things are being handled, so it is time to do something about it.

It bothers me that I haven't been feeling all that close to my mom. Brandon has done amazing things for my relationship with my dad, but not with my mom. It has driven us further apart at times over the last 2 years. I have talked to a few friends, and this doesn't seem to be all that unique of a phenomena, but it isn't easy. I guess your mom has ideas on how to raise kids, and well, you are just figuring out your own, and then there is all the rest of the baggage you have too from growing up together and being moms and daughters. Not easy relationships all the time. I'm not quite sure how to make it better, or how to ride it out, or how to bridge the gap at times. I know I am telling half stories here, but there have been a bunch of little things - like my mom asked me to come up the other day (we co-own the house together with separate spaces) and talk about some financial stuff, I sit down on the couch next to my dad to say hey, I am here for the talk and he looks at me and asks me, "what talk." Then I look like an ass when I ask him if he has talked to mom about it yet.. and then the financial stuff, well, my stuff was done 3 weeks ago and their part is in limbo - it'll get done tomorrow (heard that a few times). Well we need that stuff done to get a few other projects done. It is hard not being in control and waiting on other folks to do their part, especially when it is your folks!

Then there was a late invitation for Ken's mom to come to dinner. It became a bit of a "big deal", which is so strange, and ended up so wonderfully in the end. It was a bit of a trauma during the week, but I am glad that things worked out because she does fit in with our crew, and as far as I am concerned, we are all family, so the more the merrier. I look forward to the days when we have a bigger place and we can really entertain, even if it is just dinner parties. 6 people here in the living room and you have a crowd and not everyone has a seat. It was weird how long it took to get something happening with Ken's side of the family too, anticlimactic in a sense. So I took the bull by the horns to at least settle on the time and place for their side Christmas dinner since my side gets Christmas this year (ah yes, that Christmas dance of splitting time between families... I wonder how long that will work for us until we just say, hey, we are doing our thing, come to us...or who knows..)

I think I am just babbling at this point. Typing to see myself think on paper. It must be some kind of post-turkey-something-or-other.