24 degrees

Today was the perfect day for a BBQ, and ironically enough, our hockey team wind up BBQ was this afternoon. I half feel bad about being in groups of friends - in a sense, I am half relieved because other people are around that are really keen to hold Brandon!! It gives me a few minutes just to tend to things, like putting corn on to boil, or do a little socializing, or just be a person talking to a friend for a few moments.

It was a night where it struck me, what a difference a year makes. Last year I was really pregnant and couldn't go in the hot tub (I love hot tubbing, even if the heat gets to me and I can't stay in forever, I just love being able to go in the tub... especially this one since it has an amazing view of Deep Cove). This year, I have a little cool dude to go with the big dude, definitely went in the hot tub, had a cider (or two) before I went back to water, and played with the other kids there. I also talked a lot about kids. Turns out I am just as bad as all those other parents who talk about their kids, and life with kids. I didn't know I would or could be this person... I have always been goofy with kids, and a lot of fun, and loud, and playful, but this new woman? Talking kids, and birth stories, and sharing opinions about kids.. where did she come from??? The changes start slowly and then they start to snowball in to something else entirely. I guess, aside from all my posts about getting rid of clutter, I am wide eyed with wonder with this new self that is also emerging.

It was a cool BBQ. Strange being first to be there, and one of the first to leave (rather than staying until everything has been cleaned up and every one's eyes are drooping and all the scotch is gone, and my hubby is a prune from being in the tub for 5 hours) to put Brandon to bed. It tweaked me something fierce I only got to spare one game last year (I don't get it), but I am letting it go (work in progress, but really, it is a game, and it is in the past, it is going, going... gone). It was great to see everyone, and just hang. Been through a lot with this somewhat diverse, crazy group of people brought together by the love of hockey!