Shedding.

Ah yes. I remember this. A few months after your babe makes it's grand arrival ... your hair starts to fall out. When it is as long as mine, lovely hairballs that you get to vacuum up. Joy.

It started off a miserable day, and then the wind chased the rains away. It has turned in to a beautiful day - and I am busy cleaning. The usual Monday chaos. Plus, my book club gals are coming over, so I am using a little bit more elbow grease than usual. Ah, who am I kidding, some weekends I just go on strike when it comes to housecleaning and then come Monday, it is time to bring order back to chaos.

We have been reading a book that I would recommend highly as both an inspirational read, and one that has made me kick back and reflect on a few things. We are reading Three Cups of Tea, an autobiographical book about a fellow named Greg and how he is working to bring change to world, a little bit at a time. I think this is a really important book because it focuses on what one person can do, and how much a little kindness can mean. Whether it being nursed back to health, or brining education to poverty stricken folk. I am not going to have this book done before we meet, and although I borrowed a copy, I have picked up my own copy to have on the shelf, to be read again one day, and perhaps loaned out to a few people as well to "spread the word". It is enlightening to read a book about Pakistan and Afghanistan, about it's peoples, and how one man's vision to reach out has had a grassroots, significant difference. I think that is where it is all about, living honourably, reaching out when you can, truly recognizing the delicate web we all live in. The driving force behind the book and the movement, Greg, is inspiring in his humility and drive, as well as his passion. His passion for life, to better the plight of those for others, his love of his family, and even his approach to life in general is unique and makes for a thoughtful read. This also puts a different slant on what has been happening in the middle east, perhaps helping someone like me be a little more understanding.

Music...

I love autumn. I love the colours, I love cold and crisp mornings, I love how the seasons shift. This year, I am even happy to see the rain (I won't say that too loud). I love Hallowe'ening. I like getting dressed up, carving pumpkins, scaring myself silly, and honouring our dead.

Strangely enough, all the bands I have wanted to see for a while are in town in the next few weeks. We have tickets to see Flogging Molly at the place with the bouncing floor. I can't wait. I see a Guinness in my future, and a lot of jumping around to their crazy celtic, punk rock sounds. I can't wait.

Then, ZZ Top is also coming to town, but out in the Bible Belt. All told, two tickets are pretty much $200. I hummed. I hawed. Could we drop that much to see ZZ Top? I have wanted to see them for years... Could I justify spending that much to see one band play? Especially knowing I would get that much more show in a smaller venue a few weeks earlier? Nope. I couldn't do it. Those tickets are too rich for my blood. Or I am just too damn cheap. I have a hard time justifying dropping $200 for a concert. Ain't happening. It isn't even a FESTIVAL!!! So bah.

And now we are going to check out Susan Aglukark. I happened to notice her concert in the weekly series, and mentioned it to my DH. Ken has been a fan for years, and she has a beautiful voice. Her songs tell stories. I just laugh because I want to see the crazy celtic punk rock band, and my hubby wants to see the culturally rich storytelling singer. We make one helluva team I must say!

Two concerts in a week - and a whole lot of hallwe'ening, now that is a rare and unusual event...

Transitions into a ramble

Well, the last month has just screamed by.

Being a parent is a huge learning curve. Sometimes that curve is really steep, and at other times, it is a gently curving slope.

In the last month, Brandon pretty much dropped his afternoon nap, Connor's routine is continually evolving, and I am trying to figure it all out and get in time to get the house organized, and maybe eventually find time to get some physical exercise in again (the Wii helps, but it has been off for a while now.. I was SO GOOD in July and August.. that afternoon was so lovely... and now it is so gone.. )

It was hard letting the afternoon nap go - that was my time. I found that was when I got organized, did bills, cleaned up, read a little, did a little exercise, caught up on the net, let my mind just drift... I haven't quite figured out this stage yet - how to sort out "quiet" time for Brandon, and find some time for me in there too. Our routines are shifting - now that the weather is turning (although what is up with the mild nights, I think we are all ready for a colder night and a better sleep, but it isn't happening) I am trying to organize indoor activities and a schedule that works.. definitely a work in progress.

Speaking of work in progress, that describes me. You have to laugh at yourself sometimes, but all I can say is that I am trying to be the best me I can be, but sometimes it feels like I fall flat on my face. I worry that I come off too strong, or too hyper, or just "too much". I am learning how to give myself more processing time, that not everything has to happen yesterday. I am learning more about pacing, although I am not there yet. I am learning more about character arcs, mine. Ken and I are a good balance to each other because we meet somewhere in the middle about all this and I think we have a lot to learn from each other.

I wonder about my communication skills - for some things I am a rock star. Talking about some stuff, I am a wee babe in the woods and you would think that I couldn't talk my way out of a paper bag. *SIGH*. It seems like when it really matters, it is so much harder to articulate yourself. Just because I am over edu-macated doesn't mean I can always get the right words and meaning across, my heart is in the right place even if the rest seems to be lagging behind.

Then there is talking to my mom and my brother. I just don't get why it has to be so difficult, and for such similar reasons. With my mom, it is like she is such a convoluted thinker, it is hard unraveling what she is trying to say, or where her head is at. With my brother, he is so wrapped up in his own life, I don't think he gets what as ass he comes off as. I was trying to tell him the other day that I think we need to sit down and have a talk about how we are talking to each other because I don't like feeling frustrated or pissed off after talking to him, and it always seems like he is ready to shovel it at me, like it is always me that is failing without any pause to see what he is doing, and the impact his words and actions have on those around him. Lashing out and then immediately apologizing doesn't really cut it as a long term strategy.

I get it, I am not perfect. I can think of countless examples of when I say the wrong thing, my face is arranged wrong, the wrong reaction comes out, even when I am struggling to find the right words to say and already both my feet are sticking out of my mouth...(yes my dear hubby, this also means sometimes how I try to communicate with you and how I am not always the best communicator, I am trying, and am sorry for when it seems my wires get crossed). It really seems communication skills goes down the toilet when it comes to my bro, and then my mom. Or vice versa. I want a better relationship with them, sometimes it hurts this feeling of disconnect - how we talk to each other is just brutal sometimes. I am not all that pleased with where it is at now, truthfully it isn't that bad, but it isn't that great either. I don't feel particularly close to either one of them, I feel like I need to treat my brother with kid gloves on, and with my mom, tread lightly because she always seems to be "so stressed out", and her short term memory sucks, especially when it comes to keeping me in the loop of what is going on in her life, and our extended family's lives. Change isn't a one way street in how we talk to each other. We need to meet somewhere in the middle, and be open to growth and not just finger waggling. My bro likes to point out I am busy. Well, yes I am. I have two young kids and I like to spend time with my hubby. Shocking. He doesn't have these commitments, therefore it is easier for him to come to me, but he doesn't want to see it like that because for him, it is never him, it is always someone else. I really try to avoid that, and look inside first, and then expand that awareness out.

Well, this is a post that is more cathartic for me than anything else. A ramble, a derailed train of thought. I don't even know if this post arrived in the station.

Nudisms, to the Whys.

Welcome to life with a three year old.

With toilet training came the nudist phase in Brandon's life. I knew it was coming, and it has been amusing. Sometimes he is partially clad, sometimes not.

Now, we are moving through the nudist phase and in to the "why's".

Our conversations are interesting.

Hey mom, why are we having pasta for dinner?
..Well, because we all like it.
Why?
..It tastes good, and it is good for us.
Why?
..Well, pasta has carbs, and tomatoes are really good for us. You also like burger meat, which is helpful to get protein.
Why?
..protein helps build muscle and you are getting really tall.
Why?
..Because your mom and dad are tall.
Why?
..That is how genetics works.
Why?
.. Because the sky is blue.
Why?
..Because that is how the light is being reflected and how the light is translated in to our brains.
Why?
.. That is how it is.
Why?
Why?
Why?

Why's test your patience. You can also come up with some pretty good answers too. You can also come up with some pretty lame answers as well. See previous conversation for blatant examples.

Lussier Hot Springs

When in the Rockies... seek out Hot Springs. Since my first trip to Fairmont with Ken, I have discovered the joys of visiting the local hot springs. First trip back in 2003 we went to Radium, which is beautiful, and this trip I wanted to taste what it was like to experience both a rugged and undeveloped springs, and then what Fairmont was actually like.

Talk about extremes. Lussier Hot Springs was breathtaking. Unfortunately it was just too cold to keep Connor outdoors, so Ken graciously took him to the van whilst I plunged in with Brandon... man, I reflect on some of things these two have already experienced.. and they aren't five!!


It was cold, there was snow on the ground, and you are 18km down a logging road on route to a provincial park. I figured there wouldn't be many folks around, but there was a steady stream of people coming and going. Talking to folks, I figure it takes a bit more a curious soul to travel to a place like this, and a bit adventurous too. The first pool is really hot, the middle pool, it is quite nice, and the lower pools are cooler (sounds like a nursery rhyme). Being me, I did fling myself in to the glacier fed river and then run back in to the pools - it was awesome. Talk about feeling alive! Brandon found the hot pool too hot... so we stayed in the middle pool. I could have stayed there all day - next time hopefully both kids are of an age we can take them both in, or that we can leave the kids behind with family, and Ken and I make an outing of it...

Just beautiful though...an experience that will really stand out for me!