My jeans are getting tighter..

Well, it looks like I may have another week (or two if I push it) in my jeans. I pulled them on this morning, and straight from the dryer they were not exactly all that forgiving. I was wondering if I could pull it off still, but they have stretched out and I haven't had to pop my button open yet.. (yet being the key word in that sentence, I haven't had lunch yet).

Ken's in Vegas for the NASCAR race and I am keeping the hearth fire burning. He left in the wee hours on Wednesday, and then I worked all day yesterday, and had to pick B up late from daycare... long work day, and then a weird night since our routine was completely off, B was up several times in the middle of the night, so my sleep was disjointed at best.

The snow is finally melting (again), the skies are clear, and I have no idea what we are going to do for dinner tonight. I figure keep it simple, be a bunch of big kids together. It will be a weekend of kid stuff, hitting the wave pool, maybe the aquarium, going for ice creams together... should be fun. Just strangely quiet without my other half.

Another week has blitzed by and I am closing in fast on 6 months. I have been feeling good, earlier mornings and earlier nights... some clothes aren't fitting so well, but I figure at 6 months and I am starting to whine now.. well, that is not so bad. I can't think of anything outstanding or truly interesting to say... so... adios

There goes another week

Apparently that brief period of waxing poetic has already ground to a halt and I back to posting once a week.

We had a good v-day weekend. We kept it fairly low key - we hung out at the Granville Island market in the morning, and it was a bit of an illuminating experience for us. Yes, it was cool. In a way. Neat to see all the foods, and the fresh fish, and the exotic items to purchase. Not so cool, the prices. Everything is double what we would normally pay, even when not shopping at our local favourite big box grocery store. I guess we aren't cut out to be west enders, forking over those prices to be a cool dude shopping on the island.

As a tourist it would be cool, like us, being tourists for the morning, but I still stand by going down to Seattle and exploring Pikes - it is grittier, cheaper, and just seems to have a greater variety of wares, and corners, and really cool stores (like comic book stores, and little places to eat, and old nic-nacs), and everything isn't upper end. Maybe that is more us, I can see us next time heading back to Steveston to buy our fish from the back of a boat and soaking in the smells and sights of a working marina that heading to the city.

Ah, the truth eh. Give me flea markets, and hand me downs, and making my own crafty stuff and shopping at the outlets over big name prices any day.

Aside from that, week 22 is blitzing on by and I am "thickening" around the middle but not really showing. I am still falling asleep bloody early at night, and then waking up between 4 and 5am. Which really sucks. I should just get up, but I just don't want to at that time. Maybe tonight I will really try to make it to 10pm. LOL. There are some good shows on TV tonight, so that should help.

Hmmm... Nej has a great rant the other day... and I must agree with her about the octomom. Watching those t-zines at night, she is plastered all over the place, with more dirt coming out every day. Skeeves me out too. Sad. Poor kids. People have enough barriers to get through to have a normal life at the best of times.

Perhaps I am expanding.

21 weeks! Our ultrasound was a roaring success, and all clear on my blood work. YAY! My weight is also starting to creep up - I guess it was bound to happen. I am starting to show, but subtly. My moods have been all over the place - last week was trying. My goal is not to hit the same end weight I hit the first time around...

Things are better (more or less) this week. Van is on the fritz. Took it in today with a shopping list of complaints. Some stuff will be taken care of now, and some in a month when parts come in. Thank god for warranties, but what a pain in the ass that you have a brand new vehicle and after a year you have a shopping list of complaints to work through and not just routine maintenance.. that half pisses me off. You buy new for a reasons, and I guess that is a reason to get the extended warranty. Evil Socratic argument on that one.

What is up with the snow? Every time I have to go and work at the satellite campus, it snows. I am now three for three and it is getting annoying. Especially since I take the train across. Standing on the platforms is damn cold.

What else? Ongoing stuff with my mom. I just don't get how she thinks and processes stuff. I think I could go back to about this time when I was pregnant with Brandon and see complaints about exactly the same thing. Apparently my mom is stressed, and is dealing with issues (that no one else seems to know a damn thing about, usually means work, and she tends to create unreal drama where there shouldn't be any, weird weird weird...) and if you say anything negative about my brother, she is immediately on the defensive. Last night I saw her momentarily, and frankly between her mood and mine, I should have just "run away" but we got in to a few words, and as I said, I just don't get the drama, or the issues. Life is pretty damn good from the outside. And from what I know... shouldn't be that many issues happening either. In the course of our conversation, she said she has "higher expectations" of me than my brother.. hmm, I wonder why??? But bottom line is, why do you expect your daughter to be superwoman and not need support? That your son needs to be supported all over the place and is 30?

Now I am on another rant. Then I usually get the "I am not as articulate as you because I didn't get to go to university" line from my mom. I have never lorded it over anyone that I am (over) educated. Education doesn't make a man or woman, it is what you do with your life, the experiences you expose yourself too, how open your mind is - what you choose to do with your time and energy. Being able to articulate yourself doesn't come hand in hand with a post secondary education. Bah. So that is lame. Sometimes a blog is all about processing, and conversations like that with my mom leave me feeling empty of bereft. It makes me feel distant, like I don't want to open up or expose myself to the latest rant or threat of what I don't know that is causing her issues. I don't understand why during both pregnancies, and then with Brandon's early months, she was emotionally (for lack of a better term) absent because of her own "stuff". WTF? That's the time your daughter could actually use the strong support. It seems like the tables are turned and it is my mom that needs the support and to lend an ear for, but it means that I close off about myself, becuse I don't think she can handle anything beyond herself, and I guess I don't really trust what happens after I open up - what will come back at me later on , and I think that is a shame. Her loss, not mine since I think I have done enough "work" on myself to get beyond that - or at least I hope so. I try to be honest and transparent. I don't have anything to hide. I am still just learning, just like the other upright folks. I make mistakes, I ram my feet in myself, but doesn't mean I can't learn from it, or retract.

So, on another note, our hedge has been cut back today. We have a behemoth laurel hedge that was about 15 feet across at the top, and it has been trimmed back so much you can see a lot of daylight through it. It is a good thing, but it looks naked out there now. I know, give it a few months.. everything will grow.. LOL

555

I have always liked the number 555. I am hitting that milepost in posting today!

Wow. I looked back the other day, there are 5 years of postings here. Life has certainly changed over these last few years...

A final rant for at least a few weeks. I am tired of hearing about the incident at YVR. Seeing it on the news every day, hearing about it on the news, every day, has completely desensitized me to the event. I think the outcome is atrocious. How anyone could have been left wandering around that area for 12 hours is bizarre. Every where along the line the "system" broke down and failed the family. From my own perspective, having worked in a form of customer service all the way along, how you could ignore, or just not "see" someone like that for so long is unreal. Hearing people say they did their job seems a farce when you see the outcome. I am sure there are more stories than are being told, but bottom line is that it never should have gotten to that place.

We don't need to hear about it all the time. The coverage is unending. Merciless. Almost to the point where I am sure I am not the only one tuning it out. Changing the channel, trying to get away from those images. We all need to be aware, but the public has been bludgeoned with it. What aren't we hearing about if this is what the media is fixated on? What is being swept under the carpet?? What new issues are being quietly laid to rest while this is flogged? I can't help but wonder.

I know the last few points have been rants, bordering on just things that have tweaked me, that are seemingly never ending issues that keep coming up with no resolution in sight. Or just something different to whinge about here, so you don't get tired of all the pregnancy stuff.

Whoot!

The rant continues.

It is one of those days that it is really hard having an office mate.

The crowding, the loud conversations, the not being able to have a private phone conversation unless I time it around their breaks, the smell of cigarettes and stale coffee.

Some days it doesn't bother me, other days. Well, it adds another dimension to my work day.

She is nice enough - this is just damn close encounters to be dealing with every day.

I also found out I don't get to go on the yearly trip to Victoria. I guess going on a mat leave precludes me from needing to participate. Bah. It is the one big perk of the job.

Needless to say, I think I am having one of those "moments".

/rant done for now.

bitch, rant. moan.

A few things are bugging me this morning. The first being about the teachers in BC whom are refusing to administer the FSA testing. I am sure that this is a loaded topic, and everyone has their own opinion about it, and I know my kid(s) aren't school age yet, BUT, right from birth kids go through all kinds of assessment testing to see if they are on track. Even the (not so) simple stuff, gross and fine motor skill functioning, language skills, hearing, sight, all the basics. Those foundational skills and the testing of them is pretty important to see if there are any obvious shortfalls. Early intervention is truly the best way to cut these kinds of things off at the pass. I believe people enable and disable themselves all the time, and there is something to be said about knowing where you fit on the spectrum of things, doing an honest assessment, and then following through with what needs to be addressed. None of us develop equally, but hey, if you are ahead in some areas, and falling behind in others, what can you proactively do to give yourself the best chance?

Now, these tests for our kids. The teachers say it isn't in their job. WTF? Why are you so paranoid about your one corner of each individual kid's learning that you are scared of what the tests reveal? What about for the kids themselves? What if kids are slipping through the cracks in our system that doesn't really want to come out and say "your kid needs to be in this grade another year??" or, you didn't really put an effort in, but we'll reward what effort you did put in because it was better than last time. I want to know how my kid is doing - how is their reading and math skills, etc, and what do I need to be proactive about. I have worked in post secondary long enough to see what kind of skill sets kids are graduating with and they need all the help they can get!

And then the other thing. Our hockey team. You can hear the thumps of people jumping off of the bandwagon from miles away. I must admit, I am pretty lackadaisical about how I feel about the 'Nucks. I am thinking that the Giants kick ASS and are a way better product that the "big guys" in town. Much more entertaining, more charisma, more heart, and way way cheaper.

The walls are getting painted that the obvious head to roll is the coaches'. Everyone is lining up with their opinions, and what has happened to the team, and should we have gone for the big Swede. Well, it's farther than that. This team hasn't had charisma for a while. It isn't exciting to watch. Yes, there are sell out crowds, but is that crowd having fun? They are pretty damn quiet if they are! I laughed when I watched the interview from #55 last night -he spoke his mind and I am sure he will pay by warming the bench for a few games after coming out and calling out the coach. Then the big Swede - well, it is like when we brought the Moose in before he headed over to NY. Not really the next big saviour we expected him to be was he? I don't know. What do we need? Passionate coaching. Players that feel passionate about playing, and play for themselves and for the coach. Gritty play, following through with checks, consistency, and not relying on just one guy to make that difference. You win and lose as a team, and this team seems to have forgotten about it.

Now that I have that off my chest, I can continue on with my day.

Ye Haa. It's monday.

Well, I got a great night's sleep last night but it feels like my motivation has up and gone. Left me high and dry.

There's more snow on the hill. It's getting old. I am really looking forward to spring. It's nice because all of a sudden if feels like the days are getting longer since when I leave work it isn't dark out!

We went to the island for the weekend, and it is amazing how much easier it is to catch that crack of dawn ferry on the way there. Yup, you are dragging your ass but there is no line up to get on the ferry, and no traffic, and when you get to the other side, it actually feels like you have had a day over there, especially if you leave early on Sunday to get a bit of a catch up in. My gran is doing remarkably well for her age (94) but cruising through the "care campus" is disheartening when you look at the older folks who are just sitting there in their chairs, slack jawed, not saying or doing anything, just waiting. My gram is somewhat with it, and looking pretty good. She is getting tiny. I feel like an amazon next to her. This visit went well, for that I am grateful since it is hard to predict when we will get over there next.

Officially half way there. 20 weeks. I can feel my body shape evolving, but I don't think I look obviously pregnant yet. I have had the joys of random back pains in the last week - first my shoulder area, then my hips, and this morning it is my neck.