cranky pants... again!

Ever have one of those days where you can't decide whether or not you are in a bad mood? I had one of those today. Amazing how much it helps to head to the gym, even if it is for my piddly little 1/2 hour on either the rowing machine or the elliptical, to just be physical. Turn off that brain for a while.

Work is intense, I am reading a lot of files, and a lot of stories, and some make me emphasize for the person and make me wish I could help them out more, and others make me cringe, or make me angry that someone would have the kahunas to ask for more in the position that they come from. It takes all kinds, and that comes out of the stack. But after a few hours of reading these files, and then cross referencing them on my computer, I am done. My attention span is shot, and I start to look for distractions. Then I look at the boxes that are left to assess, and I am grateful we have a professional development day tomorrow, although that just delays the inevitable.

I am getting in some quiet time at nights - although I am alternating between one late night, and one night where I am a lame ass and I am asleep shortly after 9. What the hell happened to those nights when I was up all night long (even if it was just reading) and then getting ready to go to work the next day and do it all over again? Those days are long gone. I am fantasizing about sleeping in until 8, and the longer days, and hopefully more sunshine so we can spend more time outside.

I had a moment deserving of a stupid sign today. I figured I would treat myself to a mocha since I was dragging my ass all over the place after I worked out, and I brought along my travel mug. I had the lid in my hand, and grabbed the first mocha that came up, forgetting that there could possibly be a similar one ordered right before mine, and not in a traveler. I didn't notice, and went to walk out, and well, I put the mug lid right smack in to the whipping cream topping and made a helluva mess. I didn't swear out loud for once, but I felt like a tool standing there with my mug lid in the cream, my hands all sticky, realizing that I left my mug behind me (it wasn't even ready yet!!!! the nerve of me!!), and well, took someone else's drink and already started in on it. The gals at the counter were good, but I feel really sheepish about the whole thing. That will teach me eh?

I also want to complete the practicum component of a program that I started just over 2 years ago. I need to have everything handed in by the 15th, and the days are slipping by too damn quickly. I have some release time at work to get'er done... but the other damn job needs to get put to bed. Quickly. So I can do what I want to do. LOL. I am keeping lists at work, and I think that is the only thing that is keeping it all together for me right now.

It seems to me..

I have been lucky to write a post a week over the last year, and even that at times has been a stretch.

O M G. I have an almost 19 month old. When the hell did that happen?

I think I have been exceptionally klutzy this week. I have bruises. The whopper on my ankle from hockey, the one on my arm where I ran into something, a good one on my hand, sore spots on my back. Another one on my leg, I am not sure where from.

Once again, TGIF in a few hours. It's been a long week, especially for a short one. Especially one in which the monday was the best day of the week!!!

Just about done my book - it has been great and I would recommend it, even if the book is popular. Which gets me thinking, why is it when someone or something or a group becomes popular, the thought rises, that perhaps theis success makes them a sell out? For instance, my brother used to like Green Day, until they made it. I never stopped liking them, tending to buck trends. Or when plaid was in, well, it was strange to be in for a while, but then plaid faded off in to the sunset again, or when everyone wore doc martens, I stayed true because they are a damn good shoe, I just wish they made more girly boots that we could have access to up here in Canada Eh? But, I must admit, when something becomes "the next big thing" I am a bit leery. I was surprised when I was hooked by The Da Vinci c0de back in the day because it was almost too popular, or to discover that the HP books/movies were great too. What is it about success? We all crave it, but when others get it, we tend to react to it? Ah, funny human emotions.

It is quiet again. I made cookies. Chatted on the phone a bit. Cleaned the floor. It's been nice. Who knew these moments of domesticity could be just that?

God's creations.

Is this not the craziest looking camel you have ever seen? Look at that beard! He must be trying out for ZZ TOP!!! Er. I am not sure why I figure the camel must be male...

We spent a wonderful family day together. Did a run across the line for cheese and gas, went to the zoo, had some ice cream at a dairy farm, it was just fabulous. Blue skies, and it felt like spring. We wrapped it by having a date night and catching a true rockin and rollin concert. We saw Tom Cochrane and John Cougar (I know he isn't that any more, but for some reason I always stumble over the Mellencamp part). It was an awesome show - high energy, the crowd was in to it, the sound was great, and it was at the Coliseum and not the garage.. I love all the guitars, and for a guy who had a huge heart attack 10 years again, JM is an amazing performer - he knows how to get and hold his legions of adoring fans. It was a great show, almost over all too soon. What I couldn't get over was all the cell phones in the audience. No more days of great clouds of smoke coming up from the chaotic floor seats, and lighters held aloft... it was the light of cell phones waving to slow songs... or people taking vids. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the folks that watched the show through the lens of their phone - but I guess there is room for all types of experiences but I was enjoying it in the moment, not putting an extra layer in between me and the experience....

It's been so long, I had to take a picture of the clear skies....

Not a creature was stirring....

It feels like a rare moment when the house is quiet and I am up to enjoy it.

Last week was a tough week. There were 'tsn' turning points at work, where I think that a bit of the honeymoon period is definitely starting to wear off a little. We are in a real crunch time, and I heard it a few times in not so many words that me being away Monday (my normal flex) and Tuesday (Brandon has an appt) is rotten timing, from a procedural standpoint. Well, I can't say that I had a lot of control on all of that equation, and when the chips are down, the job will get done, but if you have a problem, be straight up with it. I guess at some point next week I will have to air a few of my impressions of the week with work so it doesn't fester. The truth sets you free, right?

There have been lots of ideas bouncing around in my head, and a few times I wanted to run over and write up some prolific post, but then life gets in the way, and the moment passes.

I am really enjoying EPL, I really have found that I have gotten more out of the 2nd part of the book than the first part. In one section she speaks of knowing herself, and getting to know herself, and being aware that she is a talker, and well, channeling that, but also realizing that being a talker is ok, but there are more ways to be a more thoughtful talker, and perhaps I got a little something out of that section because I can be a talker too and sometimes really need to be aware of that, and to reign myself in at times. Not always wedge both feet in, and not allow my own energy take over the conversation (kind of like being a new parent and you see an adult that isn't a family member for the first time in what feels like weeks, you come off a little hyper and crazy).

It feels like a few days of indulgences - I don't think I truly overate, but what I did eat included cheesecake, and popcorn, and a chocolate bar. Hell, I think a doughnut even made it in to the mix at some point. I could feel guilty, but I enjoyed it all too damn much.

Also got to play hockey again on Friday since Ken has been out of commission - it was a rout, and not for us. We lost, badly. I took a puck to the ankle (a lovely bruise) and got caught with my head down (felt like I got pile-drived, I was a bit light headed after that one for a bit). It was a frustrating loss, and then the week kind of caught up on to me friday night and we got home early, and I was just tired and mellow. So glad it was a friday. And I so enjoyed the cider we bought on saturday. Ok, so it was a bit of a decadent weekend. Like the greeks say - all in moderation. It isn't like I ate a truly huge bowl of popcorn or most of the cheesecake. Besides, it was good for the soul and I am sure I will walk it off tomorrow in the sun.

Metro?

Since when did we become the Metro Vancouver area?

I don't like it. I have no idea why, but hearing the GVRD described as the Metro-V area irks me something fierce. Yes, it does seem like endless urban area leading in to never ending burbs if you drive in a line leaving the city and heading out towards the valley, but there are differences! It seems like a label that wipes out those differences and lumps everything together. That's my 25 cents worth of ranting for the moment.

Thanks for the notes after the last post - funny how some times it is assuring to check in, get a bit of a pulse, and just do a looky-loo in to the ether. I appreciated it.

I am currently reading Eat, Love, Pray and I am enjoying it quite a bit for the most part. Some parts really resonate, other parts barely stick, and other parts get me thinking. In the first part, Liz talks about being a "good soldier" and my mind spun off considering that. I guess I have been a "good soldier" too - trying to be a good wife, mom, daughter, friend, worker, friend to the environment, pursuing a lot of education, keeping up on monthly payments, making sure I vote, making sure we eat enough vegetables, making sure things are put back in order, trying to be a conscious individual... all that other stuff. Sometimes it is exhausting. What does it amount to at the end of the day? Then there are the parts that are rebellious - when things slide at home (keeping things neat as a pin) and you let it go, driving my SUV, the love of the road trip, bucking the system in little ways, sneaking in moments to read, or to have good belly laughs... I have no point here, just that it is an interesting thought when you delve in to responsibility, how you wear that mantle, and when you have to shake it off and break free... I guess in a roundabout way it comes down to balance, and being aware of all those roles and hats you were during the course of the day, and when you throw them down and search out your own "I statements" and continue to learn about what makes you tick.

For someone that normally strays away from memoirs and autobiography, I seem to have been delving in to a few of them lately!

Ken's head is still throbbing, I actually got to play hockey last Friday night (and amazed everyone that I could still skate and had not gone to pot, so to speak)... I am still getting out to the gym at lunch - although the last few weeks I have been lucky to make it once during the week....

Craziness.

I am sure that my readership has dropped off with my lackadaisical posting as of late.

We have had a real winter. It keeps on snowing. Then turning to rain. Then more snow, and chaos on the streets because no one out on the west coast really knows how to drive in the snow. Then more rain, and wind, and then more unexpected snow. It is quite novel, and the white stuff keeps showing up in our forecasts. Almost all of the snow is gone from our backyard, but they are predicting that snow can hit higher elevations again...

This damn cold and flu season has really hit us hard too. My cold is still clinging on, my ears still pop (really annoying) and Brandon had a bought with the 24 hour stomach flu. Ken has a concussion from hockey, and it is brutal. I really feel for him - I have never had a concussion so I had no idea just how much they impact your life. I don't deal well with headaches (who does) but this has been a 2 week headache in which the usual pain killing methods don't work which comes along with nausea and a whole host of other symptoms. The other part with a concussion is that you don't know when the symptoms will lift, and they say it can take 2-3 weeks. So, Ken is home, frustrated because he can't do what he normally does, and waiting. And waiting sucks. It is hard because there is nothing I can do to lend a helping hand, it is all about time, dark rooms, and rest. Of course, you can't freeze frame life, so there are still things you have to get done, regardless of how you feel. Needless to say, it will be nice when time passes and our household is back to normal. Or whatever normal is, at least feeling better than what we have been.

Even with the snow, I have been trying to get out for more walks. It is too easy to get cooped up in the house during the winter with it's short days and early nights. I can't believe how early I have been falling asleep - I have felt really lame. I haven't even been doing much reading. Once Brandon is asleep, I seem to be dropping off not so long after. I am glad that it is Friday.

Work is decent, I am really enjoying my new job. The break has been awesome for me. I am getting out to the gym at lunches, but the last few weeks that has fallen apart because of meetings, and just weird hours with all the sickness around me. I have been to a few orientations, and we have an upcoming professional development day too. My new employer runs it's show just a little different than my last. It's a good fit.

Just okay.

I had some high hopes for this month's book club read. This is a title that I had put forth, based on a recommendation I had from a dear friend who had also read it. Sorry Gilly, I was not jumping up and down and waving my arms back and forth about this book, but The Birth House was an okay read, but not one that I found was a stellar read. I can't sing it's praises from high on the mountaintop, rather more from a middle perch.

There were parts of this book that I thought were magical - I loved the first section, and then I found the middle lacking the same spirit of the first part. Maybe it was because there were no more stories about Ms. B. The protagonist, Dora, falls somewhere between the willing midwife and the almost cartoonish and evil "modern" maternity doctor who comes peddling his wares. The end of the story picked up for me, and I did find that it almost wound up to a close too fast, I wanted to more about where Dora's future would spin off in to. I guess what I wanted from this book was a little more, the BH is peppered with some interesting characters, and then salted with some really one-dimensional ones. I found that it wavered a bit between these poles, perhaps as this author found her own stride?

There are lots of stories from the east coast, but I would love to read more from the west coast, about our trials and experiences. Perhaps the east coast writers are just better about promoting their books??? I am not sure, but I would love to read more stories about the west, and not just the recognized classics like Moody's "Roughing it in the bush" which I have, but it is just sitting there on my shelf waiting for the right moment (or mood) for me to pick it up.

Truth be told, I love the website for the book, and plan to go back to some exploring. The book was a decent read, not a 10, but worth a few hours whiling away with a book. In the novelties section of the website, you can actually take a quiz to discover if you are hysterical!

One helluva life story

I have sat on a few good reads for the last while. Perhaps because I haven't really had the chance to sit down and hammer out a few updates to the old blog.

I plundered my way through the Diogenes trilogy, which is part of the larger Agent Pendergast series by Preston and Child. I seem to return to their books time and time again when I need a blustery page turner that is a quick read and thoroughly entertaining. I think in the last month I went through 4 of their books in quick succession (and I really enjoyed them all, although some more than others, of course) and it is time to take a break from the last few of their's that I have not read and perhaps discover a few other good authors/reads.

I didn't make it out to January's bookclub. The planets aligned in such a way that it just wasn't possible for me, but the book we were reading was awesome. I thoroughly recommend it as a great read, and for someone who isn't always in to autobiographies, this one is worth picking up. It is called the Glass Castle and the tale of Jeannette Walls is told from between the covers. Wow. What a life story this woman has. Very insightful, and there are images from this book that will stay with me for a long time (both positive and negative). I had a hard time putting down this book, and I admire Wall's honesty for putting her life story out there like she has. Of course, once you begin to write even you own story it takes on a life of it's own, the life she describes is unreal, and makes you realize that normal is limited to your own life and observations, and that there are as many ways to live as there are moments in the day.