A momentary lull in the action

I am officially a wife, and it feels great.

Currently the joke is that I ended up with an absolutely beautiful spring day on Saturday for our wedding, and that Ken has received my silence as his gift. It is quite funny, I am not really sick per say, but my voice has officially evacuated the building. So anyone expecting to hear from me right now, I am really sorry, but you really can't make out what I am saying on the phone, or in person for that matter, so I am doing you a favour by not calling.

In the last three days since the wedding, I have alternated between sounding like a dolphin, the Godfather, spoken in a barely heard whisper, a thirteen year old boy just hitting puberty, and the current state of affairs, some kind of bark whose tones reach all sorts of unintelligible pitches. The current theory is that with all the stress, burning up the phone lines, planning, and then the wedding (receiving lines go on FOREVER) my voice figured it would pack itself in and attempt to give me some kind of break.

Well, between gift openings, best friends being in town and then leaving town, family in from out of town, and the infinite details of getting hitched... the voice can rest now. Sort of. Which helps typing things out here, rather than trying to mutter, mumble, and stumble my way through words I can barely force out.

I wholeheartedly endorse compromising with family on certain things when planning your wedding, but our wedding reflected Ken and I from start to finish. There are so many moments that stand out, and one of the best things was the noise in the hall. At most times, the noise was amazing - a total din of people having fun and talking and getting to know each other in our intimate setting. It was not a glitzy or ornate wedding, people felt comfortable, hell, I giggled in the ceremony because I was just so damn happy. I wasn't nervous at all as I stood, waiting for the Hockey Night in Canada, er Wedding March a'la BeatMarket Mix Master Chaz to start up and I realized that I was quite settled in myself, and just hoped that everything went well and everyone had fun, and that we more or less evacuated the building about when we were supposed too.

... to be continued

White Wedding

My gals are still asleep, and I am enjoying probably the only quiet moments I will have today.

Ken and I husseled through the last minute stuff yesterday right up until 5pm and then called it quits for the day. D and C are out from down South, and Refinnej came from up North. I am surrounded by some of the best friends a person can ask for.

Rehearsal dinner went off well - although I was fading quick and made it an early night.. us gals pampered ourselves a bit last night, and just talked. It was great. I talked until that babbling stage, at which point I got laughed at and perked up long enough to retort and fall asleep, and all of us crowded in to Ken and I's king sized bed. I am surprised the cats didn't join us, but there wasn't a lot of room left over.

I have already had tears in my eyes - there are blue skies today. I am shocked. I didn't want to hope, and considering it was still saying 100% rain thursday, this is amazing. Someone is smiling on us again, nothing like the power of love, right ba-by!!!! My cold has also let off some.. plied myself with some vit C again last night and it seems to have helped. I guess if I had not put down some money to have pictures done at the BW, the weather I am sure would have been terrible! I am so pleased! I want the outdoor shots!! I don't want everything to happen in doors, it is spring, it is the wet coast, and there is nothing as spectacular as when the sun comes out!!

I love the fact that you can't predict our weather. As soon as you start to count on it, it changes it's mind. Absolutely fabulous.

The mountains have a touch of snow, daffs are smiling, and the cherry trees are in full bloom. I love spring and I am glad that it is the season we marry, and I continue to bloom with child.

I AM GOING TO GET MARRIED IN A FEW HOURS.

Funny, I am not worried or nervous at all about that part. All the worry up to today has been whether or not everything would come together, and it has.

MARRIED?

ME??

One of the most single people I ever met in my 20's has hooked up, found love, and is getting HITCHED???

Yup, totally off the market!!!

I am going to figure out my speech in the next bit, and I am thinking for a few moments of the friends and family who are here in spirit but couldn't make it - I do understand and can't wait to tell the stories at a later date, and about those who truly couldn't make it, I know that some where out there they are smiling down on us today, especially since they aren't perched on clouds having a waterballoon fight!!

Yes, MARRIED!!

I will post some pictures after the fact...

The home stretch...

I sense an aimless ramble.

It is amazing how much time organizing and burning up the phone lines can take. All the little things that have to be done for the wedding to come together.

The quiet moments, that are rare, when I can just sit, hold my belly, and be glad that one of my cats is normally quite close.

I can't wait to have some time alone with Ken, where we aren't coming and going, and all things in between. That and when it isn't 11pm and we are both stretched a little thin from work and planning!!

I can't wait to see some of our friends again that just aren't in town and it isn't possible for them to come out to the wedding. Sounds like a reason to have another few celebrations at a later date.. wait.. that will happen regardless in a few months!

Refinnnej is in town and today we get to be girls, run errands, and shop. There are bits and pieces that I need to pick up for the wedding! I still have a bunch of piles of clean but unfolded laundry kicking around, and yesterday I completed the wedding powerpoint we are planning to show. I can't get over how long it took to tweak and get to it's final version. That sucked up most of my day!! Between that and making the wedding favors??!! Still have some music considerations to make, and work our back up plan for our pictures.. see, the weather last weekend was PERFECT.

This weekend forecast isfor perfectly wet coast weather. So we have found an alternate venue to do most of our pictures in, and then at the wedding, in between service and reception, it will just be Ken and I running around and doing our pictures and enjoying a few moments in between the big stuff. One day it is 100% rain straight through until Monday, the next day it is 80% chance of rain, and now, I am sure it is back at 100% looking at the weather forecast. Ah well. What can you do?

Brought our little fish tank in the other day to help save one of our fish.. guess the tank was too cold and then we filled it with warm water since we had to do an emergency evacuation last night - thankfully we didn't end up with 10 gallons of water all over the place!

Engaged!

It is funny, when so many huge things are going on in your life, sometimes you have to focus on the little details to help keep everything straight in your own head.

Our detailed ultrasound was a roaring success on Saturday morning and baby is developing as it should - we may also be a little further along than we anticipated and our doc may shift our date.. TBA...

The shower held by my side of the family was also a wonderful success - an amazing group of diverse friends and family and it was a seemless event with good and I felt very spoiled, cherished, and just wonderful. It was a grand day! I am glad that everyone seemed to get along, and that it was such a day to remember. We had a smaller hen's party where we went to a pub (woo woo for Near Beer!) and then to an early comedy show.. I was done right in at 10:30. WHO KNEW!?!?? More than enough excitement for this pregnant chickie!

The best part is that that I am now officially a Fiancee. On bent knee my wonderful man asked me to marry him and be his bride and it was beautiful. This all happened in the moments before the shower, and I think I floated about a foot off of the ground when I went to make my entrance. It was perfect, he said the right things, and my heart went pitter patter. This is the guy I am going to marry.

IN 4 DAYS!!!!

Funny quote...

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

Not that I miss drinking ... that much!! I did have a wee bit of guinness on St. Paddy's day (read two mouthfuls). It wouldn't have felt right to not have quaffed a bit of guinness on the day o'the green!! Apparently docs in Ireland still prescribe a guinness a day for the ladies when they are expecting - something about lots of iron, B vitamins, and it is low alcohol content (4.5% and low cal too!).

TB = tiny bladder

Well, I have an hour to wait for my detailed ultrasound test and I am already starting to squirm and think about going to the can. I get the feeling I am not going to be able to see a lot of what is going on, so Ken gets to be my eyes today. The other scans we have had are not detailed, and the TV screen is in front of me, not beside me so I have had a great view of junior! BUT, we do get a printout, and pics of junior today since it is the "detailed scan" that they do for pg women about week 20. What a trippy thing.

I am sure I won't think it is so trippy when junior is a little bigger and really starts to move, kick, and jab. Funny though - as soon as someone says that you can't do something (like a basic bodily function) you immediately start to dwell on it. Ah, a lovely part of human nature.

My gran isn't going to come to our wedding. She lives a BC Ferry ride away, and is in her early 90s. One of the rellies would have to pick her up, but she is a bit too worried about her "general health" (and has been for the last 15 years) to come on over, my argument of "if something happens at least you are surrounded by people you love and love you" fell on deaf ears.. She hadn't really told me that she wasn't planning to come, in fact, her enthusiastic phone calls about the two events dropped sharply about a month ago, so I dropped her a line yesterday and then she casually let that one slip. I have mixed feelings on this one.

I would give my eye teeth and then some for all of my grandparents to still be around, and to be able to see how I happy I am, and to be there for my wedding that for my one surviving grandparent to not come, kinda hurts. Heck, Ken didn't even really get a chance to know any of his, and it is a big deal to still have one surviving. But, I also have to respect her decision, and her age, and how she feels and just be happy that I still have a gran and know that I can verbally share the experience and pictures with her at a later date. Just sad that she has missed most of the major events in all of her grandkids lives.. strange choices, but no one else can determine the choices that other people make. All you can do is do the best you can and have a clear conscience at the end of the day...

I tried something funny...

Well, this was to be a funny post, but I couldn't seem to make the html link work..

*SIGH*

Whatever dude. Operator error or something like that. I guess I could delete this foray, but I am feeling way too lazy.

Lists.

Just over a week to go. Tomorrow my holidays start, and I am starting to feel antsy. I am starting to roll numbers through my head at weird hours of the day, budgets, and flowers, and booze, and food, and times when things are going to happen, and hoping that everyone will feel like they had a good time, and hoping i don't forget or overlook anything that is really important...

I will sleep in tomorrow, make myself a chocolate soy latte (if you have never had one, don't knock it. If you have an espresso machine at home, I recommend you try this. A regular latte doesn't cut it anymore. Vanilla soy lattes, well they are ok. Now the chocolate ones.. you can justify em because they are healthy!!! right??!!) and then start making lists and cleaning up whatever little chores and messes I figure should happen knowing that there will visitors, and people who are going to check out our digs, and just to continue getting rid of clutter.

First the books were culled.. now I culled some clothes. I can't believe I have held on to some clothes from when I was 15. Like, give me a break. Even if I was that size again, do I ever want to wear those clothes again??? What was I thinking??? I now have some space in my closet and it feels good to let go of more things. Just release them in to the wild, after Refinnnnnnej has had her looksee next week... LOL See she thinks she needs to shop, all she needs to do is go through my stuff before it goes off to the donation box.. HAHHAHA

So today I try to reign in my mind, it is running all over the place like a hyped up kitten flitting about. And get through the day, I can't wait for the 2 week break, although it won't be a traditional break, but it will be great, amazing, life changing, who knows what else? Some times I think I fool myself about what is left to do, like the favor bags, and then other times it is like O M G ... this is where I wish I could just kick back with a guinness and then start in on what needs to be done!

11 days and counting

Not so many days left before I get hitched!!!!!

This weekend went by way too quickly. Lots of errand running, and some house cleaning, some sorting, some just farting around... we crossed a bunch of stuff off of our list, but it seems like I have been making lots of phone calls already today... the usual worries - will there be enough food, or booze, or decorated enough, will everyone have fun, will our pictures turn out well...

On the other front, the altest mat appt went really well - it is so humbling for lack of a better term to hear your baby's heartbeat, and see them in an ultrasound, and when you can feel the movement, it is awe inspiring that this is going on inside of your body!! I think the length of a pregnancy is good, you get used to the idea over time, the changes don't happen overnight, the changes are gradual, but they certainly do happen! I don't think I look that much different yet, and I haven't had that many moments.. ok, maybe a few totally forgetful moments (that is where the lists really help) .... a few looming emotional moments... but I guess that is where being distracted by wedding plans, or that online course I took takes some of the heat off of the pregnancy stuff...

The boys....

Zee boys have been nothing but cute lately...feels like spring today - we can hear the birds again so we put out some seed, and there is something in the air because as soon as I opened the door the cats were right at the screen, meowing and lazing in the sun.

A little dated but...

I couldn't get over just how many blooms were on our cactus this year!!!! (so, for once it has been a while since we have downloaded some pics from our camera... )

Stuffed.

Friday night, time to order in.

I think I ate too much. Since I was starvin like marvin I grabbed an order of veggie samosas on the side and they didn't even make it halfway home!! Grabbed some indian food for dinner and threw it in the oven until Ken got home.. he grabbed the vids and we have the makings for a great friday night!

Between the garlic naan and the mango butter chicken, well, I am right and truly stuffed. Finished watching D0mino, which was a different but interesting flick and now, who knows how much longer I really want to be up. Our bed is calling...

The myth of tooth loss while pregnant

Teeth - 3 Kazza - 0

Just in case you are keeping score.

Apparently, it is a myth that when you are pregnant, you will lose a tooth.

Well, I own a page in that book, and can confirm, that it is a myth.

This pregnancy, I have lost not one or two teeth, but now three. Sheered one off with trail mix, lost one to the root canal on monday, and tonight, while watching our thursday show and spending time with my honey, I broke a tip off one of my molars. Hell, I still have that piece of tooth and it went in to the "weird stuff bag with a few odds and ends and special rocks".

Well lost is a strong word, I still have parts of all three teeth, they just aren't what they used to be.

W T F ??? ! ! ! ! !

So, I will work a half day tomorrow and hopefully see my dentist... again. At least this one doesn't hurt!!!!!!!

***DISCLAIMER*** I know that I have been harping about my teeth in the last month, for the record, I DO have a great dental regimine, floss, brush, and the whole flouride rinse thing daily. I am not sure if my teeth have ever looked this good. Obviously I see my dentist regularly so what has been going on has been really bizarre to say the least!!! It kinda blows my mind that my gums are great, and everything else seems to be fine, that is, until the next tooth gives way.

Waxing poetic

I am trying to take more "risks" in what I read - not always going for the authors that are tried and true for me, but rather, trying out some new authors to see if they are a good fit, and have different stories to tell.

I have had J0y Luck Club on my shelf as a "to read sometime" for as long as I can remember, and I was temped by the Opposite of Fate, Tan's autobiographical book, which also sat on the shelf "to read at a later date."

Well, I finally sat down and read the Opposite of Fate and I am a total convert!!!! I was enchanted cover to cover, and found myself earmarking pages so I can return to them later on to ponder Tan's words. Her other books have moved up my priority list to read, perhaps not right now, but not in a long time either. Her work is poignant, and is quite autobiographical, and she speaks quite openly and frankly about her relationship with her mother (always a big one for us girls, whether or not we are moms or daughters or both!!). I was sad to turn the last page for I think Tan is a fiesty woman who has much to say, and I like that she examines American culture and it's need for stereotyping and takes it very neatly apart and that she rejects any other label than that of "American Writer".

"The best stories do change us. They help us live interesting lives"

I can't help but agree with this statement, wholeheartedly. I also like Tan's claims that "I have the freedom to write whatever I want. I claim that freedom." For so many people who lose their voices away, this book is a reminder of reclaiming that voice, and using it, even if it always isn't perfect, or is in draft form...

Is it only tuesday?

I am eternally grateful that I have a great specialist who the task of doing a root canal down to a fine art. After waiting nearly half an hour to be seen yesterday, during which time I had to excuse myself THREE TIMES!! (can you say nervous and pregnant??) the deed was done in about 45 minutes. The freezing hurt some, but after that it was pretty clear sailing.

Apparently Ken will lose his thumb nail in about two weeks, and now does a mean Fonzie impression since smashing his thumb the other day at work! Hockey has been out for him, since it is an open wound going in to a hot and sweaty glove environment that breeds little beasties that aren't good for healing!!

Between these two things, and then working on homework all weekend for that online course (IT IS DONE AND I AM SO GLAD, I had no idea how much work this online course would be ... with a huge sigh of relief, all I need to do is the practicum and I have another certificate to add to my ever growing collection), and just being run down, I was done like dinner before I even went to bed last night. So, I am home today, resting, doing my thing, regathering myself.

And, it not being nearly exciting enough around here, the rad in our truck decided that today was the day to give up the ghost in a big burst of steam and water. After much babying, Ken got the truck to our trusty mechanic, no used parts to be found, so the rad becomes the newest item to add to zee beast.

So, add another thing to the list. We definitely keep life interesting between the two of us!! Need to find out how a wee friend is doing, and sort out some details for the wedding, but it is starting to look like a little bit of clearer sailing... maybe?

Up after 6am on a Sunday?

I think by the end of my night last night I was an overtired, emotional mess. Everything felt personal and I felt like I could easily manufacture stuff to create more reasons to fall apart. Must have been hormonal, or just not enough sleep, or just everything coming together too. So I did what any sensible woman would do - carted my ass off to bed.

I only have 2 journal entries, 1 assignment, a quiz, and a few more bits and pieces for my course left to do. I want it done. On one hand, it has been rewarding and I enjoy the semantics of learning how to teach, but in some ways, it widens the gulf between where I am at and where I will be given time and effort. I guess I am such a fan of continuing education because once it is done, you have it, and who knows when the knowledge is going to do you right. But getting through these last bits has been tough. Not because the material is beyond me, but just staying on task. It is like I have to chain myself to the desk!

And holy hot tamales is the big day coming up quick!!! Still a few outstanding invites, but perhaps in hindsight we should have told people to RSVP with the "nays" as well as the "yays" rather than to sit here and wonder...keeping the wedding list to a limit is hard, you realize as time goes on more people you wish you could invite, and you realize that can continue on and on into total silliness. Met with out Marriage Commissioner yesterday, She is FABULOUS. The neatest part about this wedding is how things have fallen in to place. Just another element that fits the way it should!!!!

Warm Fuzzies

This just totally one of the off the cuff moments where you just put it out there.

Having a blog has been a really great experience for me. The friends that I already had that this experience (for lack of a better word) has brought closer, whether through my blog or through their blogs as they have popped up. And also to the new friends I have made through the intimate world of reading about each other's day, and to also looking forward to seeing what is up, and what is a shaking in their worlds. It is amazing when we all intersect, and no matter the distance, how can we share the same wavelength, or give advice (or take it), or be sad for each other, or celebrate together.

I don't rely on the phone so much anymore, I find that after a day at work where I have to be "on" for people, and am constantly interrupted, expected to be a chief miracle worker, here is a place where I can communicate on my terms and when I want to, whether it being in the middle of the night, the morning, or squeezed in somewhere else.

So, out goes a big warm fuzzy. Just cause.

The Ride

This week has been amazing.

My coworkers threw me a wedding shower, and dinner with our immediate group last night. The generosity of the people I work with, and the amount of lives I have touched over the years, and the outpouring of positive vibes was amazing. By the end of the night, I am sure that I was about a foot off of the ground. I feel very humbled.

The evil tooth continues to be FIESTY. Have fingers crossed for a cancellation to get in sooner rather than later, but really, who wants to rush a root canal? (yes, a trick question is embedded there). Woke up in the wee hours with a throbbing face again. Ah well. I am towards the end of the process and not the beginning, so this is good.

Have consciously avoided that online course all week. I somewhat feel guilty, but that will sort out tomorrow. I hope.

Wedding plans are blitzing along - we have a schedule, and a floor layout, and things are coming along. I can't believe the big day is in 3 weeks!! O M G ! ! ! !

And, speaking of weddings.. KELZ AND BEN are engaged!!!! I cannot express how happy I am for them both.

Reading about what is happening in Reffinej's back lot makes me sad. Seeing the swath of destruction in places like Manning Park and Northern BC from this pest and what hasn't been done to stop this blows my mind. It seems like such a waste. When you see the brown, dry sticks in what was once a beautiful, lush forest is tragic.

Some of my shows are back on, yes, I like watching the A-Race to see where they send the lucky folks. The host has one great job!!!!

And... And... And...

I think tomorrow, it being a friday off, I will sleep.