Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Time Warp

Being off work, and being at home with Brand0n, is an amazing adjustment. Learning how to relax, and learning how to take a completely different approach to pacing and what is a full day has been completely redefined.

As a new parent you really and truly do worry about diaper production and whether or not you have gotten enough b'feeds in. Never would I have imagined such a focus, but here we are. Night hours are still chaotic, Brand0n is still a better day sleeper, and slowly (ok, maybe not yet) getting used to the idea that there is a difference between day and night. Or so I thought prior to last night. He was restless, hence I was restless and conscious of the fact that I would like Ken to get a decent night's sleep since he has to be functioning for work! I haven't been able to fall asleep for a nap yet, but it is on the agenda!!

I have never seen so much of my extended family! The positive side is that we have been able to see most of our families one on one, rather than in a large group setting, and this makes it more intimate and better for everyone. It has been eye opening to see all the cousins welcome Brand0n in to the fold, and then just to see how happy both sides are to have another baby (especially on my side since there hasn't been any kids for 11 years on one side, and 25 on the other) around and to see the circle of life continuing. But, we are both getting a little tired around the edges and I can see a very quiet, our little family focused day(s) coming up in the near future as the initial rush wears off.

Speaking of family, always interesting to hear what they have to say about new babies. There is always unsolicited advice, and you have to find your zen place to just say "thanks" and then whisper "but no thanks" under your breath and file away the gems for future reference. I got the "you look great, looks like the pregnancy weight is coming off quick" and then a moment later "you know you have watch everything you eat when you are breastfeeding. What you eat goes to the baby. You know, if you drink alcohol, they get it too." I was an ass, I couldn't help but say "Oh really??" and watch my Aunt's eyes goes as wide as saucers. I followed it up with a "yes, I am kidding" but the look on her face was worth it especially considering I could tell you down to the ounce and when I have consumed ANY alcohol in the last 10 months.

Mother's instincts kick in right away too - I find that I am watching whomever is holding Brand0n, even without meaning too my eyes will wander his way. I am conscious of where he is at, if he is comfortable, etc. In the quiet moments, I almost feel guilty because they are my moments, but then when it comes time for feeding, or holding, or cuddling, or comforting, well, it is all about him so it all balances out. The learning curve still feels pretty steep, and every day seems to be bringing different lessons, or tweaks to whatever routine we are starting to establish... I think that flexibility is the name of the game!

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